Mr. Alice: They're back. Lava lamps. I thought we were rid of them 30 years ago, but a friend of mine just bought one. I have no idea why. After trying my best to ignore …
November 18, 2004
Straight from the Hip
Archived articles
Putting the lava in your lamp
Pigeon in a neck brace
Mattster: Consider this. Could a pigeon walk if you put his neck in a brace? I say no. -- Birdman, San Diego Of course the elves couldn't resist this one. They headed out with Grandma's …
November 4, 2004
Disappearing egg nog
Matthew: It's coming up on holiday time again, and I can't wait until egg nog is back in the dairy case. Why don't they sell it all year round? -- Waiting, the net Eggnog in …
November 4, 2004
Do you go through customs on your way to the moon?
Dear Matt: How high up over a country is international air space considered to begin? -- J.K., Leucadia Can't pull any official treaties or international agreements out of the hat to answer this one. Before …
November 4, 2004
Aww, do we really need to count all these votes? I've got a date tonight.
Hello, Matt: I was talking to a customer at my business yesterday about the election. I commented that I found it handier to go to the Registrar of Voters office on Ruffin Road and vote …
October 28, 2004
One mouse plus one mouse equals...
Mr. Alice: Here it is. There is a mouse, a rodent, and a mouse, a thing you direct the arrow with on your computer. Plural for a mouse, the rodent, would be mice. I know …
October 28, 2004
What's in Bush's wallet?
Heymatt: Do you think the president carries a wallet? I can't imagine he ever has to pull out a credit card or cash or flash his drivers license. -- Wondering, the net Not even Grandma …
October 21, 2004
Why is farting rude?
Matt or Grandma Alice: Can you pinpoint when it was exactly that farting became a social faux pas? Flatulence is totally natural. My twin sons fart all the time. Why when someone farts in, say, …
October 21, 2004
What's "good money"?
Hey Matt: Where did the saying "good money" come from, as in, "I paid good money for that car"? -- Dawn, the net People might just mean "a lot of money" when they say good …
October 21, 2004
Tale of a talk show
Hey Matt: My boyfriend says that The Jerry Springer Show is fake, that the guests are really actors, not insane trailer trash dating their sisters. Is he right, is it fake? -- Farah Daye, the …
October 14, 2004
Dog spit
Dear M.A.: I give my dinner plate to Queenie the Loveable Lab every night, and will lick it clean (except when we have broccoli). But why when she's through is the plate so slimy? It's …
October 7, 2004