Hi Matt: Articles have been written regarding the uncertainty of the future of the Social Security system. The system is nearly 70 years old and they probably add thousands of people each day. My question …
January 13, 2005
Straight from the Hip
Archived articles
Whither Social Security
The mystery of the four-way stop
Heymatt: Clockwise, beginning with the car furthest to the right of all others, one at a time. What is so difficult about that? Apparently, roughly half of the drivers in San Diego (according to my …
January 6, 2005
2004 Year-End Quiz
The Alices took a vote last week, and the majority favored canceling Christmas. Or Holiday, or whatever it's called now. But of course the elves didn't fill in the bubbles, and in the recount, Grandma's …
December 23, 2004
50% wool, 50% dryer lint, all hand loomed
Hey Matt: If I were to go to all the laundromats in San Diego County and collect all of the lint from the dryers, would I be able to make it into articles of clothing …
December 16, 2004
A trip to Reefer City, California
Heeeey, man� Like, there's this place in, um, up north-- what's it?-- Kern. Kern County, man. Waaaay up there. No beach. No�. Hey, got some Doritos, man? Goldfish crackers, maybe. Oh, uh-- yeah. This place. …
December 16, 2004
Eye amoebas explained
Hi Matt: I was out golfing on a sunny day and I noticed my eyes have these little marks in them, like you're looking through a microscope at little amoebas. They move around but don't …
December 9, 2004
Attempted voodoo in the first degree
Dear Matthew Alice: I remember hearing on the news once that in one of those Southern states some men had been charged with attempted murder for hiring a hit man to kill a judge. The …
December 9, 2004
The lightning-pee connection
Hey Matt: On a recent Sunday morning, a thunderstorm woke me up. I thought I would go peepee and return to bed. Once in the bathroom, it occurred to me that I once read you …
December 2, 2004
Who's jimmy and why's he stealing my car?
Hey Matt! My friend, who always complains about my yard sales, had his car swiped. It was an older model. Probably a Tercel. Ugly poop-purple colored. I told him, from my ESP powers, that "Jimmy" …
December 2, 2004
People soup
Hey Matt! When I'm in the hot tub, my head perspires�. Does the bod do the same under the water? Eewwwwwww! -- Bobby T, Hillcrest Yo, Bobby. Wake up and smell the chlorine. You're sweatin' …
November 18, 2004
Who lives in the Second World?
Matthew: I think we live in the First World, and I'm pretty sure places like Haiti are in the Third World. That must mean there's a second world, so what's the deal with that? -- …
November 18, 2004