Diary of a Diva
Go ahead and take two, girls -- they're free. -- Dad 'Three...four...seven...nine!" "That's me," said Kip, a little too unenthusiastic, if you ask me. I glared at the ticket in my hand. You have failed …
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. -- Richard Carlson 'You've been at that for more than an hour. What's up?" David sounded more concerned than curious. I lowered the …
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. -- Franklin P. Jones 'This is unfuckingbelievable. Who shows up to a dinner party an hour late?" I had been making an effort …
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? -- Woody Allen 'Don't make eye contact," I whispered as we walked in the door. But my …
Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there. -- Franklin P. Jones Everybody shows up around the same time. They settle into their spaces -- hang posters on the wall, …
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized . -- Fred Allen 'What's that?" David asked, pointing to the bag …
Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive …
I was on my second chocolate martini with a shot of espresso; they were still at it. I'm going to have to say something, I thought. How can I do this without being rude? I …
It's fun to be a woman. It's fun to flirt and wear makeup and have boobs. -- Eva Mendes 'I can feel my pores tightening from the mist." "She was paid to say that," I …
We need objects to remind us of the commitments we've made. That carpet from Morocco reminds us of the impulsive, freedom-loving side of ourselves we're in danger of losing touch with. Beautiful furniture gives us …
You could move. -- Abigail Van Buren, "Dear Abby," in response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to …
Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. -- Fran Lebowitz 'These are tough letters," I said, sliding my "Z" tile to the left …
A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid. -- J.R.R. Tolkien I stood to survey the piles surrounding me and took a deep breath, letting it out with a long …
Every man is a borrower and a mimic, life is theatrical and literature a quotation. --Ralph Waldo Emerson I am likable. I could prove this to you scientifically, but at the moment, with no lab …
Know Thyself. -- Socrates As a girl, all I ever wanted in life was for my dream man to ride up on a horse or BMW, get on one knee, and profess his love for …
All is not lost that is delayed. -- French Proverb After a long sprint, he arrived at the door as the gatekeeper closed it. Words were exchanged. His expression was one of disbelief. How could …