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S'alright

I've got to stop awfulizing... because righteous indignation does not do a body good.

So what, if I come home, and the NO PARKING sign that I affixed to the fence in front of my residence is gone AGAIN and someone is in my spot. I'm not going run my key the length of that car, although I feel like it. That jolt of adrenaline, with nowhere to go inside me, stews like toxic waste.

So what, if the Excel Construction Company men with their big boy trucks and backhoes, are here day after day after day, tractor trailer engines idling outside my door,digging holes and refilling and digging again, long after they said they be done. I go out there with my reporter's notebook, wanting some names. Oh, we're actually ahead of schedule, a nameless one tells me. The bad news though, he tells me, is that after they're done, another company will come in, scrape off the top layer of asphalt they just lay, and seal it with some nasty, environmentally unfriendly topping. HELLO! Is anyone home around here? Why am I the only one outraged?

Oh, but wait, that's right...outrage doesn't serve me. Recently, I have begun channeling that anger energy into a healthier pursuit, one that is actually making me stronger. Want to know what that is?

When I feel tension building, I kick up into a handstand. Hah! It's the ultimate attitude adjustment. Handstand pushups against a wall or a closet inside the house, or freestanding handstands on the grass. If I fall, I'm jolted back to myself, out of my head and moral outrage.

Usually, when I listen, I hear four or five man or machine made sounds--a car driving by, a refrigerator hum, the distant roar of traffic on the 5, a water truck idling, the coaster horn blasting. I've been training myself though, to listen between the sounds....right now the wind is whooshing , birds twitter, geese honk. The men must be at lunch, maybe sitting under trees; they too, listen and rest ears and bodies from machines. It's still and peaceful...it's a perfect moment...no before or after...and in this moment I am in love.

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I've got to stop awfulizing... because righteous indignation does not do a body good.

So what, if I come home, and the NO PARKING sign that I affixed to the fence in front of my residence is gone AGAIN and someone is in my spot. I'm not going run my key the length of that car, although I feel like it. That jolt of adrenaline, with nowhere to go inside me, stews like toxic waste.

So what, if the Excel Construction Company men with their big boy trucks and backhoes, are here day after day after day, tractor trailer engines idling outside my door,digging holes and refilling and digging again, long after they said they be done. I go out there with my reporter's notebook, wanting some names. Oh, we're actually ahead of schedule, a nameless one tells me. The bad news though, he tells me, is that after they're done, another company will come in, scrape off the top layer of asphalt they just lay, and seal it with some nasty, environmentally unfriendly topping. HELLO! Is anyone home around here? Why am I the only one outraged?

Oh, but wait, that's right...outrage doesn't serve me. Recently, I have begun channeling that anger energy into a healthier pursuit, one that is actually making me stronger. Want to know what that is?

When I feel tension building, I kick up into a handstand. Hah! It's the ultimate attitude adjustment. Handstand pushups against a wall or a closet inside the house, or freestanding handstands on the grass. If I fall, I'm jolted back to myself, out of my head and moral outrage.

Usually, when I listen, I hear four or five man or machine made sounds--a car driving by, a refrigerator hum, the distant roar of traffic on the 5, a water truck idling, the coaster horn blasting. I've been training myself though, to listen between the sounds....right now the wind is whooshing , birds twitter, geese honk. The men must be at lunch, maybe sitting under trees; they too, listen and rest ears and bodies from machines. It's still and peaceful...it's a perfect moment...no before or after...and in this moment I am in love.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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