I first kissed Leopard at the party Gilbert threw after his parents went out of town. I'd seen the stray cat around the hood for years, but didn't have the guts to talk to him. He was the sexy bad boy — tall, handsome and reckless. He'd been to Juvy twice before the age of sixteen — once for possession of a deadly weapon and once for car theft.

On the night of the party, Leopard slid his eyes over my body as if he were already touching me. I was two years younger and at seventeen, a virtual baby. He was a man. That word alone caused my private parts to stir.

A song by Mr. Criminal boomed from Gilbert's sound system. Bright neon lights flashed overhead. I had started shaking my butt in time to the music but wouldn't have danced with Leopard even if he had asked. My older sister, Nikki, had met a guy who was "suave" and had given birth to twin daughters nine months later. I didn't want to follow in her footsteps. I planned to go to college to have a career, a dream my parents had for me from the time I was born.

After picking up two bottles of soda, Lupe, my best friend, beckoned for me to follow her to a table in the middle of the room. She had her eyes on Leopard too. "He's gorgeous, isn't he?" she asked with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah."

His narrow waist and bulging pecs were holding us both spellbound.

I'd give anything to feel his naked body against mine for just one night. He was about six-feet tall and slender, wearing baggy jeans and a tight, wife-beater's T-shirt. His complexion was light--almost reddish--and his eyes, nose, and mouth were spaced evenly apart. When he caught me staring, I looked away. I wanted him to know that I wasn't open to his advances. When he didn't approach our table, I figured he'd lost interest. I had a lot to learn...

"Want to dance?" I heard someone ask. My heart leapt skyward when I looked up and saw Leopard standing in front of me. I hadn't even seen him cross the room. "I'm not so bad, am I? Can't you smile for me?"

I wasn't much for kissing ass. Instead of smiling at him, I simply stood, took his hand in my own, and headed for the smoky dance floor. One dance wouldn't hurt. I couldn't get pregnant as long as I kept both feet on the floor. If only I had been savvy enough to know that the road to hell is paved with devastating charm.

That morning, Lupe told Grasca that we didn't fool around. We didn't drink or smoke either. But our friend insisted that we come to the party anyway.

"The guys are hot and the drinks are cold," she said, grinning.

And boy, she wasn't kidding! The most handsome guys I'd ever seen were right at our fingertips!. But Leopard was the one I liked best. As the synthesizer began to pulsate a heartbeat, I wrapped one hand around his neck and high-stepped my black suede boots, circling him in time to the music.

A crowd of pot smokers and beer guzzlers gathered to watch. The heat passing between the two of us caused Leopard to start sweating. Droplets slid down his temple and caused his neck to shine. After he reached out to whip me into his arms, I trembled. I hoped he didn't see that the sexy-mama routine was fake. Inside, I was a nervous wreck. The first boy I'd ever danced with was by far the sexiest one in town.

"Let me show you how," Leopard said.

My breath caught in my throat and then I realized he was talking about dancing.

"Lean on me. I'm supposed to do the leading." He slid his warm palms along my forearms as if calming a skittish horse.

I was so embarrassed, I thought I'd die. I forced my mistake from my mind, closed my eyes, and let the handsome hombre sweep me away.

"Chilosa."

Goose bumps shot up my arms, raising the fine hair. Although I didn't speak any Spanish, Leopard crooned the word in a smooth voice that was thrilling. I tossed my head back, thinking that later I'd have to ask Mama what it meant--casually, so that if it was dirty, she wouldn't get on my case because a guy had said it to me.

She was so protective, I wouldn't put it passed her to later hunt him down to kick his sorry ass.

A little drunk and very intoxicated by Leopard's penetrating gaze, I softly kissed his tender lips, right in front of everybody. An act like that was risky. If I wasn't careful, everyone would think I was his girl.

When Lupe, Grasca, and I had been eating breakfast in the cafeteria, Grasca mentioned that Gilbert's parents had gone to Mexico and he'd be hosting a party.

"Some muy delicioso guys are going to be there," she groaned.

She then assured us that plenty of sodas and even bottled water would be on hand. I was shocked to later find tequila and cerveza flowing throughout the place. Not a single drop of cola or water was anywhere. And after eating chicken enchiladas and refried beans, I was desperate for something to wash it all down. Reluctantly, I picked up a bottle of Corona.

I wondered who had paid for all of this. Who in our barrio had that kind of money?

This is wonderful, I thought. Good food and a man's strong arms. I'd often fantasized about what my first kiss would be like. It was even better than I'd hoped it would be. I'd felt it all the way down to the tips of my high-heel boots. I then flashed a glittering smile, but Leopard glowered at me, stone-faced. I suppose he had to remain macho, but his cold expression told me nothing about his thoughts.

When the song ended, Leopard walked me back to the table where I retrieved my purse. "Thank you," I said, demurely.

"De nada." He then lifted a glass of vino from a silver tray and set it down before me.

"Drink up," he said. "Go ahead."

I'll admit I was helpless to deny him anything. His upturned lips and shining eyes were almost breaking out in a grin. The way he looked was mesmerizing. You'd think I was made out of sugar and cream cheese.

He was gorgeous and I wanted him desperately.

"I-I don't think I should have anymore," I stuttered.

"It's not a good idea," said Lupe.

But Leopard insisted that I take a sip. So to make him happy, I raised the glass to my lips and drank. Satisfied, he strutted away, back to his homies by the wet bar.

As I watched him go, I realized his gang name suited him perfectly. His movements were slow and predatory. And like a big cat, this man had tender moments. Just thinking about how gentle he could be caused my heart to start beating wildly.

He had asked ME to dance, not Lupe or any other girl. I hoped that was a good sign because I wanted to dance with him again. Who was I kidding? I wanted to do much more than that!

Lupe suddenly broke my train of thought. "It's for you."

I took her cell phone, wondering who'd be calling me. Then I realized no one had; Lupe just wanted me to take a picture of her with Leopard. She didn't dare say it outright. Instead, she went over to the group, wrapped one arm around his neck and said, "How about we all have our picture taken?"

Then she leaned in close to him and grinned. Leopard lifted his hands to form an "M" by putting his thumbs together. I imagined that it was some kind of gang symbol, but I didn't know which one. A girl in short shorts on the other side of him hung onto his shoulder, making me fume. It was ridiculous, really. I had no right to him after only one dance.

After I snapped the photo, Leopard shot me a sly glance. "Now you'll remember me forever."

I pressed my lips together and gave him my best "come hither" expression, hoping he'd be prompted to ask me to dance.

"I'll treasure it," I replied. The other girls made cooing noises. They weren't my close friends and I had no idea whether they were for me or against me.

"Print a copy for me."

"I would if I knew where to send it," I blurted.

Dang, he didn't take the bait.

Without offering his phone number or email address, I had no way of knowing if he really liked me or if it was all a game. Tomorrow, would he even remember me? With women constantly falling all over him, I truly doubted it.

He wasn't the kind of guy my parents wanted for my anyway. They had their hopes set on a big-time college guy. My mom had immigrated to the United States from Mexico when she was only thirteen and my dad was Anglo. Even though he was American, he hadn't gotten an education. All my parents really had to live for was my older sister, her babies, and me. I owed it to them to marry somebody they could be proud of. That would happen, I hoped, after I got my veterinary degree.

It took all of my willpower to back away from Leopard. Mama had said that feelings of lust were only temporary. I had learned from her mistakes. She had gotten married too young and had babies before having a way to earn a decent living. Her life was a daily, uphill grind. I'll have babies and a husband one day, I told myself, but not too soon.

My poor mom worked her butt off in a supermarket deli. She was on her feet for eight hours and then came home to cook dinner and do housework while my dad acted like a king. Hell would freeze over before that happened to me.

Dad worked at the car wash on West Valley Parkway. He'd come home every day sunburned, exhausted and pissed at his boss for jerking him around. We lived in Grandma's old shack with peeling paint, torn screen doors and broken windows on the corner of a busy street. Grandma had turned the house over to us when Grandpa died. Then she moved into a small apartment attached to the garage.

I loved my family but wanted a better life.

"Want to go outside?" Leopard asked, jolting me from my thoughts. For once, his eyes were lit up.

What would he say if he knew I thought he wasn't good enough for me and yet I wanted to have him anyway?

Maybe he wouldn't care. Leopard thought he was God's gift to women. If he did find out, he'd probably shrug it off and go looking for his next conquest. Even so, I simply said "I've got to go."

"If you say so..." The light had gone out of his eyes. I'd bet that no woman had ever turned him down before.

Had I hurt his feelings? Did he even HAVE feelings? I went over to the buffet to get a plate and then thinking he might be watching me eat, only picked a few olives and some mixed fruit to place on it. Before going outside, I took one more glance at Leopard. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the floor. A fat girl with stark-white skin and short hair dyed blue-black sat by his side.

Lupe whispered something to Gilbert that caused him to break out in laughter. He wrapped his scrawny arms around her small frame and gave her a squeeze. They were drunk and getting too chummy as far as I was concerned. Gilbert was nerdy and had severe acne scars on his face. I knew Lupe didn't really like him--not well enough to endure his salsa breath.

The cloistering smell of body odor mixed with weed was suddenly overwhelming. My face was hot and flushed as Leopard gazed at me with sad eyes. He seemed to be crushed.

I forced myself to ignore him. I'd been friendly enough for one night. "Let's go," I said to Lupe. She pulled away from Gilbert and followed me out to the patio.

I had to get away from Leopard before I fell in love. "Thank God we got out of there."

She sat down on the picnic bench looking disappointed. "You made me leave just when things were getting cozy."

"Tell me about it. I'm so crazy for Leopard, I was about to f*ck him on the dance floor."

She giggled and then fell silent as I obsessed on that dance. Leopard had made it magical. Of course, we were only in a three-bedroom stucco house with most of the rooms trashed, but it had turned into Buckingham Palace once Leopard had held me in his arms.

"He's SO hot!" Lupe exclaimed. "And he asked YOU to dance!" From her high-pitched tone and strained smile, I gathered she was insanely jealous.

I shrugged and stared at my plate. "He's not my type."

What? You've got to be kidding me! Even in the darkness, I could see that her jaw had dropped.

I dreaded having to explain. Lupe was one of those girls destined to marry young, have a houseful of babies and then settle down to a life of drudgery. I hadn't bothered to tell her about my dreams. She'd think I was trying to get ahead of her. So instead I said, "I'm not ready to settle for just one guy."

"But this guy is Leopard Herrera! He wants you." The whites of her eyes flashed at me. She picked an olive off my plate and put it in her mouth. While chewing it, she said, "No girl in her right mind would turn him down."

I shrugged. "Maybe I'm crazy..."