Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Love's Wang Dang Doodle

Joseph Campbell in his Power of Myth interview with Bill Moyers back in the ‘80s mentioned that the Greeks have three words for love instead of the one we use so frivolously: eros, philios, and agape. Eros, romantic and passionate love—I’ve had aplenty. Philios, friendship love—I’ve been blessed with as well. Agape, unconditional love—well, this is the Big One, isn’t it? It’s what’s left to our disposal when romance, companionship and affection abandon us, and when we unintentionally fail our friendships.

Unconditional love, to love without conditions. More precisely defined by Harold Becker, author of Unconditional Love - An Unlimited Way of Being, unconditional love is, well, an “unlimited way of being”. In his book, he states that:

"We are without any limit to our thoughts and feelings…There are infinite imaginative possibilities when we allow the freedom to go beyond our perceived limits…Life, through unconditional love, is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight."

Although it may be easy enough to comprehend and appreciate the value of such a virtue, mastering the graceful practice of unconditional love while being bombarded daily by our perceived tribulations, well now that’s artful living.

I can appreciate that “love” is a powerful action verb not just a four letter word. We feel “moved” and “driven” by love. The joy experienced when surrendering to the act of loving, to the sharing in the oneness is like a succulent, sweet plum. The bitter pit at the center of all that juicy deliciousness is the worm infested fear that we may somehow loose ourselves in the process; that we might somehow fail.

Fear is another four letter word. But what is it really other than an emotional reaction to thoughts that we are threatened by? I for one know all too well the devastation my mind can wreck, sending serenity and sensibility to the winds blustered by all those “dark imaginings”. But, as I learned as a child, fears are just that—imaginings. They aren’t real unless I give them life, unless I allow them to rule the roost, crushing all my lovely eggs of inspiration. It really is true that we have nothing to fear but fear itself; that sucker’s a taloned beast unleashed.

The other day, I overheard someone say, “He tends to get in the way of himself.” We do that, don’t we? We are by far our own worse critics. We think, then over think things that would otherwise be simplistic. And, as if our brains weren’t writhing in agony already, we proceed to rethink that which is already over thought just for good measure. We muscle reason to death and while trying to control the outcome we have a tendency to suffocate life.

I, myself, have been victim of enough fear to strangle the best of relationships. I can now, for the most part, control my own reactions, quell my own demons, soothe my own wounded “inner child” as John Bradshaw once championed. I know this; I’ve done it. Doesn’t mean I don’t slip; I do. But, I’ve done it and know that it can be done. That knowing doesn’t ease the agony of helplessness, however, when it’s someone else’s monster trying to seize the reins.

There’s a reason we are so inclined to torture ourselves (and consequently each other) like that. We buy into the whole “I think, therefore I am” cognitive nonsense when it’s our hearts that know what’s best for us. Truly. With 30,000 neurons surrounding it, our hearts create an electrical field ten times stronger than that which is emitted by our brains. You’d think that would mean something. Seems like a no-brainer, literally.

For me, it is. There just isn’t any better remedy to quelling the beast, to quieting the agita than to love—to get back in The Love because it’s the antidote to all ills. That, and the Blues. A good long hike will clear the head, but its Marva Wright’s Wang Dang Doodle that puts things into perspective for me, that sets things to right. Puts me back in the happy place, no matter what and puts a smile on my face. And smiles, as well as the good humor behind them, go an awfully long way with this lass in evaporating all worry, all fear, all confusion. Smiles go an awfully long way.

Which reminds me that the Hawaiian greeting “Aloha” means—literally—to love is to be happy with. Now, if using that sentiment to say hello and goodbye isn’t a perfect example of agape in action, I don’t know what is.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Gonzo Report: Three nights of Mission Bayfest bring bliss

“This is a top-notch production.”

Joseph Campbell in his Power of Myth interview with Bill Moyers back in the ‘80s mentioned that the Greeks have three words for love instead of the one we use so frivolously: eros, philios, and agape. Eros, romantic and passionate love—I’ve had aplenty. Philios, friendship love—I’ve been blessed with as well. Agape, unconditional love—well, this is the Big One, isn’t it? It’s what’s left to our disposal when romance, companionship and affection abandon us, and when we unintentionally fail our friendships.

Unconditional love, to love without conditions. More precisely defined by Harold Becker, author of Unconditional Love - An Unlimited Way of Being, unconditional love is, well, an “unlimited way of being”. In his book, he states that:

"We are without any limit to our thoughts and feelings…There are infinite imaginative possibilities when we allow the freedom to go beyond our perceived limits…Life, through unconditional love, is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight."

Although it may be easy enough to comprehend and appreciate the value of such a virtue, mastering the graceful practice of unconditional love while being bombarded daily by our perceived tribulations, well now that’s artful living.

I can appreciate that “love” is a powerful action verb not just a four letter word. We feel “moved” and “driven” by love. The joy experienced when surrendering to the act of loving, to the sharing in the oneness is like a succulent, sweet plum. The bitter pit at the center of all that juicy deliciousness is the worm infested fear that we may somehow loose ourselves in the process; that we might somehow fail.

Fear is another four letter word. But what is it really other than an emotional reaction to thoughts that we are threatened by? I for one know all too well the devastation my mind can wreck, sending serenity and sensibility to the winds blustered by all those “dark imaginings”. But, as I learned as a child, fears are just that—imaginings. They aren’t real unless I give them life, unless I allow them to rule the roost, crushing all my lovely eggs of inspiration. It really is true that we have nothing to fear but fear itself; that sucker’s a taloned beast unleashed.

The other day, I overheard someone say, “He tends to get in the way of himself.” We do that, don’t we? We are by far our own worse critics. We think, then over think things that would otherwise be simplistic. And, as if our brains weren’t writhing in agony already, we proceed to rethink that which is already over thought just for good measure. We muscle reason to death and while trying to control the outcome we have a tendency to suffocate life.

I, myself, have been victim of enough fear to strangle the best of relationships. I can now, for the most part, control my own reactions, quell my own demons, soothe my own wounded “inner child” as John Bradshaw once championed. I know this; I’ve done it. Doesn’t mean I don’t slip; I do. But, I’ve done it and know that it can be done. That knowing doesn’t ease the agony of helplessness, however, when it’s someone else’s monster trying to seize the reins.

There’s a reason we are so inclined to torture ourselves (and consequently each other) like that. We buy into the whole “I think, therefore I am” cognitive nonsense when it’s our hearts that know what’s best for us. Truly. With 30,000 neurons surrounding it, our hearts create an electrical field ten times stronger than that which is emitted by our brains. You’d think that would mean something. Seems like a no-brainer, literally.

For me, it is. There just isn’t any better remedy to quelling the beast, to quieting the agita than to love—to get back in The Love because it’s the antidote to all ills. That, and the Blues. A good long hike will clear the head, but its Marva Wright’s Wang Dang Doodle that puts things into perspective for me, that sets things to right. Puts me back in the happy place, no matter what and puts a smile on my face. And smiles, as well as the good humor behind them, go an awfully long way with this lass in evaporating all worry, all fear, all confusion. Smiles go an awfully long way.

Which reminds me that the Hawaiian greeting “Aloha” means—literally—to love is to be happy with. Now, if using that sentiment to say hello and goodbye isn’t a perfect example of agape in action, I don’t know what is.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Salubrious psychedelics on Mt. Palomar

A plant-based retreat with the Agape Ayahuasca Sanctuary
Next Article

Love Me As If You Liked Me

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader