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Wereswans of London

First off, a few unorthodox props to this guy for putting "hip, happening, cool, PBR, boobs" in his irritating little keyword section. Seriously, dude. C'mon now... Puts me in mind of this dude from the Official Best Of Craigslist section.

Anyways, legitimate Runner-Up from actually within the bounds of my neighborhood: chainsaw and/or shotgun (Normal Heights). Hellyer, somebody's dressing up like Ash! Bring on them Deadites, baby! Load up the boomstick!

But the real, honest to goodness honors go to:

Red Velvet Chaise Lounge - $250 (Normal Heights)

"Tell me of your dreams" the doctor said.

"I can't," the patient replied, "for they are far too horrible."

"Do" the doctor said. "You must do so if we are to make any progress."

"Very well then, doctor; they always begin with being chased by swans."

"Swans?"

"Yes, swans, enormous white birds with slashing claws and fierce, coal-black eyes. Murderous, savage raptors, hell-bent on my destruction."

"So, these were swans?"

"Yes, cruel, malicious birds of prey."

"But, swans?"

"Exactly, like Prometheus. With the liver, and whatnot."

"But, by 'swans' do you really mean the waterfowl?"

"Snow-white, aquatic terrors. What else?"

"Normally, we think of swans as noble..."

"Clearly you've never been pursued by thirty pounds of feathered nightmare, razor-sharp beak aimed at your heart, merciless talons grasping at your soul."

"Well, there are usually some swans in the park. Sometimes I feed them bread. The old ladies seem to like them too."

"That's what they want you to think."

"The old ladies?"

"The swans. They want you to see them as docile, sensitive "noble" (scoffs), majestic birds. In reality, they're mindless killers, pitiless scourges of bird, beast, and man alike. A single swan wields the destructive power of an entire army of trained ninja assassins."

"You don't say?"

"It's true. When in the midst of one of its bloodthirsty rampages, a swan is among the fiercest forces of nature."

"So, I'm just going to recommend a good, strong dose of Thorazine for you, maybe a regimen of..."

"You laugh, doctor, laugh and scoff at my tales of woe, but just wait! Just you wait until the swans are howling at your door!"

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The Fellini of Clairemont High

When gang showers were standard for gym class

First off, a few unorthodox props to this guy for putting "hip, happening, cool, PBR, boobs" in his irritating little keyword section. Seriously, dude. C'mon now... Puts me in mind of this dude from the Official Best Of Craigslist section.

Anyways, legitimate Runner-Up from actually within the bounds of my neighborhood: chainsaw and/or shotgun (Normal Heights). Hellyer, somebody's dressing up like Ash! Bring on them Deadites, baby! Load up the boomstick!

But the real, honest to goodness honors go to:

Red Velvet Chaise Lounge - $250 (Normal Heights)

"Tell me of your dreams" the doctor said.

"I can't," the patient replied, "for they are far too horrible."

"Do" the doctor said. "You must do so if we are to make any progress."

"Very well then, doctor; they always begin with being chased by swans."

"Swans?"

"Yes, swans, enormous white birds with slashing claws and fierce, coal-black eyes. Murderous, savage raptors, hell-bent on my destruction."

"So, these were swans?"

"Yes, cruel, malicious birds of prey."

"But, swans?"

"Exactly, like Prometheus. With the liver, and whatnot."

"But, by 'swans' do you really mean the waterfowl?"

"Snow-white, aquatic terrors. What else?"

"Normally, we think of swans as noble..."

"Clearly you've never been pursued by thirty pounds of feathered nightmare, razor-sharp beak aimed at your heart, merciless talons grasping at your soul."

"Well, there are usually some swans in the park. Sometimes I feed them bread. The old ladies seem to like them too."

"That's what they want you to think."

"The old ladies?"

"The swans. They want you to see them as docile, sensitive "noble" (scoffs), majestic birds. In reality, they're mindless killers, pitiless scourges of bird, beast, and man alike. A single swan wields the destructive power of an entire army of trained ninja assassins."

"You don't say?"

"It's true. When in the midst of one of its bloodthirsty rampages, a swan is among the fiercest forces of nature."

"So, I'm just going to recommend a good, strong dose of Thorazine for you, maybe a regimen of..."

"You laugh, doctor, laugh and scoff at my tales of woe, but just wait! Just you wait until the swans are howling at your door!"

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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