Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

'And yet, when I look up at the sky,'

'... I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more.' --Anne Frank

My situation is absolutely incomparable to what Anne Frank went through during the Nazi time in Germany. I do not mean to diminish the immense danger and hardship that she and others went through that time. I remembered the quote though, while sitting at my favorite gazebo in Mt. Hawk this morning. I looked up and out and searched for something, anything that will give me a hint. I need a hint, today, that everything will be alright. I will find a job, a source of income, something that will help me continually support my kids as a single mom, something that will help me keep my home. Something to end this cruelty, the cruelty called "the unknown."

Uncertainty is a human limitation that spins my head, tears at my very being. I am a planner, a scheduler, a lister. I have a lot of things to do as a function of being a single working mom and I've learned to conquer the chaos by trying to be organized. I have electronic alerts of kids appointments- medical, school, volunteer work; my group meetings, my work projects, even bill payment used to be all scheduled.

Now, I have to cancel the automatic payment schedule. I am running out of savings, after three months of joblessness. I do not know how I will pay my bills next month if I still don't get a job. My mortgage is the one bill I ensured not to miss all these years but I'm going to have to call my lender and beg for forbearance. I have medical appointments to make but I do not have health insurance, unable to afford the useless COBRA program that supposedly will assists you during unemployment. I get help from families and friends sometimes, but I do not expect them to continually do so in these difficult economic times.

Some friends wonder why I am not freaking out yet. Oh but I do. Briefly. I would be gripped by a momentary fear of the unknown and just break down and cry... for one second. It's as if my soul needs to release the cruelty and find relief. Always Jeremiah 29:11 comes to mind, as if an angel whispers: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Always, this verse makes me feel instantaneously better. My limited mind pains because it cannot see clearly past the here and now. God and the possibilities borne only by faith sees the future plans.

(Photo by CFernando. From Mt. Hawk Park, 01/2009)

I stared at the clear waters of the lake below, reflecting the mountains and the sky. I didn't have any grand revelation. Just an unknown sense of peace and tranquility. The fresh air, the vastness of the sky above me, brought me a feeling somehow like what Anne Frank was probably referring to. A feeling that things will change for the better.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Second largest yellowfin tuna caught by rod and reel

Excel does it again

'... I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more.' --Anne Frank

My situation is absolutely incomparable to what Anne Frank went through during the Nazi time in Germany. I do not mean to diminish the immense danger and hardship that she and others went through that time. I remembered the quote though, while sitting at my favorite gazebo in Mt. Hawk this morning. I looked up and out and searched for something, anything that will give me a hint. I need a hint, today, that everything will be alright. I will find a job, a source of income, something that will help me continually support my kids as a single mom, something that will help me keep my home. Something to end this cruelty, the cruelty called "the unknown."

Uncertainty is a human limitation that spins my head, tears at my very being. I am a planner, a scheduler, a lister. I have a lot of things to do as a function of being a single working mom and I've learned to conquer the chaos by trying to be organized. I have electronic alerts of kids appointments- medical, school, volunteer work; my group meetings, my work projects, even bill payment used to be all scheduled.

Now, I have to cancel the automatic payment schedule. I am running out of savings, after three months of joblessness. I do not know how I will pay my bills next month if I still don't get a job. My mortgage is the one bill I ensured not to miss all these years but I'm going to have to call my lender and beg for forbearance. I have medical appointments to make but I do not have health insurance, unable to afford the useless COBRA program that supposedly will assists you during unemployment. I get help from families and friends sometimes, but I do not expect them to continually do so in these difficult economic times.

Some friends wonder why I am not freaking out yet. Oh but I do. Briefly. I would be gripped by a momentary fear of the unknown and just break down and cry... for one second. It's as if my soul needs to release the cruelty and find relief. Always Jeremiah 29:11 comes to mind, as if an angel whispers: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Always, this verse makes me feel instantaneously better. My limited mind pains because it cannot see clearly past the here and now. God and the possibilities borne only by faith sees the future plans.

(Photo by CFernando. From Mt. Hawk Park, 01/2009)

I stared at the clear waters of the lake below, reflecting the mountains and the sky. I didn't have any grand revelation. Just an unknown sense of peace and tranquility. The fresh air, the vastness of the sky above me, brought me a feeling somehow like what Anne Frank was probably referring to. A feeling that things will change for the better.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

VH1 Celebrity Brittany Skipper Knows How To Get It Right!

Next Article

A Thank You To A Questioning Foot

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader