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San Diego Getting Skipped: January 2013 Edition
Every music fan in San Diego is all too familiar with the traditional skipping of America’s Finest City by some of America’s laziest bands. We all know the pattern: Play Phoenix or San Francisco, hit LA and then COMPLETELY SKIP SAN DIEGO!!! Is the nearly year-round abundant sunshine and coinciding pleasant weather patterns that repulsive to the rock and roll elite? Is it really that scary to be within a half-hour of the Mexican border? Are the United States most delicious burritos that much of a turn-off to professional musicians? One can only make an educated guess which is exactly what we shall do here! Here is a rundown of artists and bands hitting the LA vicinity, but skipping San Diego this month. We shall give their potential reasons for by-passing our local paradise and reveal how we shall deal with their absence.
DJ Jazzy Jeff: Sound Arena, Hollywood 1/25/13
Reason For Skipping SD: DJ Jazzy Jeff is moving in with his rich relatives somewhere around Bel-Air this month.
San Diego’s Reaction: If he was gonna play down here minus Will Smith, we would at least want an opening set consisting of a tax seminar hosted by Carlton Banks.
Reel Big Fish: House of Blues Anaheim 1/5/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Prefer to be a reel big fish in an absolutely gigantic pond in this scenario.
San Diego’s Reaction: Is Ska ever going to just go away for good?
Wilson Phillips: The Canyon Agoura Hills 1/11/13
Reason For Skipping SD: We have to schlep our new CD on QVC that day.
San Diego’s Reaction: We like to think that the ladies in Wilson Phillips train at a UFC fighting gym year-round. They do this so when any of them encounter a “fan” that, upon first contact, does not clearly state that “’Hold On’ is undoubtedly the greatest single ever written and performed by a female singing trio” they have the correct skill-set to bash this individual’s head in with the greatest of ease.
Transfer: The Viper Room 1/27/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Dude, we live here.
San Diego’s Reaction: I’m sorry honey, you know I just get jealous.
Bad Religion: Echo 1/27/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Don’t worry, we will douse you with our unusually literate for punk rock lyrics in March!
San Diego’s Reaction: There is a dude with a PhD in this band, and yet they still can’t figure out that no one over 21 wants to set foot in the Soma.
Stryper: House of Blues Anaheim 1/26/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Too many heathens. We prefer the pure, cleansed souls that populate the City of Angels.
San Diego’s Reaction: God called, and he just wanted to tell ya that he still regards heavy metal as Satanic, but that’s cool because he digs black and yellow spandex outfits which remind him of his favorite creation bumblebees.
The Knitters: The Observatory, Santa Ana 1/25/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Knitting.
San Diego’s Reaction: Well at least we got a healthy dose of X around Christmas. Come back down soon in country form though!
Yo La Tengo: Fingerprint Records 1/16/13
Reason For Skipping SD: All the cool kids are moving outta North and South Park and heading to Portland. Hell, even that bike shop on 30th that sold those fixies moved there.
San Diego’s Reaction: I’m sorry, what was that? I missed your question. I was busy packing my messenger bag full of my most valuable belongings (another messenger bag, moustache wax, autographed VHS copy of The Royal Tenenbaums) for a long bike ride up the coast to Oregon.
Lisa Loeb: Central Acoustic Aid and Pleasure Club, Santa Monica 1/28/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Well if there was a central acoustic aid and pleasure club in San Diego, maybe I would’ve swung on down.
San Diego’s Reaction: WE WANT A CENTRAL ACOUSTIC AID AND PLEASURE CLUB!!!!!!!!!
Too $hort: The Ob$ervatory, $anta Ana 1/19/13
Rea$on For $kipping $D: $an Diego I$ $o fricking far from LA.
$an Diego’$ Reaction: $top di$$ing and $kipping us $horty!
Wayne Kramer: The Grammy Museum 1/24/13
Reason For Skipping SD: I’m working on the soundtrack for the new season of Eastbound and Down on HBO.
San Diego’s Reaction: Whoah! Excellent excuse bother! Take your time because your soundtrack work on that show has been consistently AWESOME!!!
Keane: Pantages Theatre 1/12/13
Reason For Skipping SD: We wanted to play a show in San Diego, but even we can’t remember what any of our songs sound like these days.
San Diego’s Reaction: Wasn’t this that one band that they used to play a lot on 94/9 that had that one song that was kinda edgy and poppy, but not too edgy and poppy, and they could sing pretty well, but they didn’t seem too threatening, and their song blended in pretty well with all the other newer songs they were playing at the time on that station which all kinda sounded like slight deviations of something from a Death Cab For Cutie album unless it was actually something that was from a Death Cab For Cutie album?
Los Lobos: Cerritos Center For The Performing Arts 1/11/13
Reason For Skipping SD: You guys are close to the border and we don’t wanna self-deport by accident.
San Diego’s Reaction: C’mon boys, the La Bamba soundtrack went double platinum! You can afford a quick stop in SD!
Berlin: The Canyon, Agoura Hills 1/25/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Even though our name is Berlin, we are actually based in Los Angeles. But do you have any idea how long it takes to get from LA to SD? At least three days driving. Wait, what was that? San Diego is in the United States? Sorry, we just kind of like the way city names sound, we don’t pay much attention to geographic location or significance.
San Diego’s Reaction: Berlin, your hit song “Take My Breath Away” from the mega-blockbuster Top Gun is so damn moving that you should at least swing down to Kansas City BBQ (where they filmed many of the bar scenes for the Tom Cruise flick) get up on their bar, and lip-sync along to it when it comes on the juke box. Just don’t step on my chicken wings while you are doing so.
San Diego Getting Skipped: January 2013 Edition
Every music fan in San Diego is all too familiar with the traditional skipping of America’s Finest City by some of America’s laziest bands. We all know the pattern: Play Phoenix or San Francisco, hit LA and then COMPLETELY SKIP SAN DIEGO!!! Is the nearly year-round abundant sunshine and coinciding pleasant weather patterns that repulsive to the rock and roll elite? Is it really that scary to be within a half-hour of the Mexican border? Are the United States most delicious burritos that much of a turn-off to professional musicians? One can only make an educated guess which is exactly what we shall do here! Here is a rundown of artists and bands hitting the LA vicinity, but skipping San Diego this month. We shall give their potential reasons for by-passing our local paradise and reveal how we shall deal with their absence.
DJ Jazzy Jeff: Sound Arena, Hollywood 1/25/13
Reason For Skipping SD: DJ Jazzy Jeff is moving in with his rich relatives somewhere around Bel-Air this month.
San Diego’s Reaction: If he was gonna play down here minus Will Smith, we would at least want an opening set consisting of a tax seminar hosted by Carlton Banks.
Reel Big Fish: House of Blues Anaheim 1/5/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Prefer to be a reel big fish in an absolutely gigantic pond in this scenario.
San Diego’s Reaction: Is Ska ever going to just go away for good?
Wilson Phillips: The Canyon Agoura Hills 1/11/13
Reason For Skipping SD: We have to schlep our new CD on QVC that day.
San Diego’s Reaction: We like to think that the ladies in Wilson Phillips train at a UFC fighting gym year-round. They do this so when any of them encounter a “fan” that, upon first contact, does not clearly state that “’Hold On’ is undoubtedly the greatest single ever written and performed by a female singing trio” they have the correct skill-set to bash this individual’s head in with the greatest of ease.
Transfer: The Viper Room 1/27/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Dude, we live here.
San Diego’s Reaction: I’m sorry honey, you know I just get jealous.
Bad Religion: Echo 1/27/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Don’t worry, we will douse you with our unusually literate for punk rock lyrics in March!
San Diego’s Reaction: There is a dude with a PhD in this band, and yet they still can’t figure out that no one over 21 wants to set foot in the Soma.
Stryper: House of Blues Anaheim 1/26/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Too many heathens. We prefer the pure, cleansed souls that populate the City of Angels.
San Diego’s Reaction: God called, and he just wanted to tell ya that he still regards heavy metal as Satanic, but that’s cool because he digs black and yellow spandex outfits which remind him of his favorite creation bumblebees.
The Knitters: The Observatory, Santa Ana 1/25/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Knitting.
San Diego’s Reaction: Well at least we got a healthy dose of X around Christmas. Come back down soon in country form though!
Yo La Tengo: Fingerprint Records 1/16/13
Reason For Skipping SD: All the cool kids are moving outta North and South Park and heading to Portland. Hell, even that bike shop on 30th that sold those fixies moved there.
San Diego’s Reaction: I’m sorry, what was that? I missed your question. I was busy packing my messenger bag full of my most valuable belongings (another messenger bag, moustache wax, autographed VHS copy of The Royal Tenenbaums) for a long bike ride up the coast to Oregon.
Lisa Loeb: Central Acoustic Aid and Pleasure Club, Santa Monica 1/28/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Well if there was a central acoustic aid and pleasure club in San Diego, maybe I would’ve swung on down.
San Diego’s Reaction: WE WANT A CENTRAL ACOUSTIC AID AND PLEASURE CLUB!!!!!!!!!
Too $hort: The Ob$ervatory, $anta Ana 1/19/13
Rea$on For $kipping $D: $an Diego I$ $o fricking far from LA.
$an Diego’$ Reaction: $top di$$ing and $kipping us $horty!
Wayne Kramer: The Grammy Museum 1/24/13
Reason For Skipping SD: I’m working on the soundtrack for the new season of Eastbound and Down on HBO.
San Diego’s Reaction: Whoah! Excellent excuse bother! Take your time because your soundtrack work on that show has been consistently AWESOME!!!
Keane: Pantages Theatre 1/12/13
Reason For Skipping SD: We wanted to play a show in San Diego, but even we can’t remember what any of our songs sound like these days.
San Diego’s Reaction: Wasn’t this that one band that they used to play a lot on 94/9 that had that one song that was kinda edgy and poppy, but not too edgy and poppy, and they could sing pretty well, but they didn’t seem too threatening, and their song blended in pretty well with all the other newer songs they were playing at the time on that station which all kinda sounded like slight deviations of something from a Death Cab For Cutie album unless it was actually something that was from a Death Cab For Cutie album?
Los Lobos: Cerritos Center For The Performing Arts 1/11/13
Reason For Skipping SD: You guys are close to the border and we don’t wanna self-deport by accident.
San Diego’s Reaction: C’mon boys, the La Bamba soundtrack went double platinum! You can afford a quick stop in SD!
Berlin: The Canyon, Agoura Hills 1/25/13
Reason For Skipping SD: Even though our name is Berlin, we are actually based in Los Angeles. But do you have any idea how long it takes to get from LA to SD? At least three days driving. Wait, what was that? San Diego is in the United States? Sorry, we just kind of like the way city names sound, we don’t pay much attention to geographic location or significance.
San Diego’s Reaction: Berlin, your hit song “Take My Breath Away” from the mega-blockbuster Top Gun is so damn moving that you should at least swing down to Kansas City BBQ (where they filmed many of the bar scenes for the Tom Cruise flick) get up on their bar, and lip-sync along to it when it comes on the juke box. Just don’t step on my chicken wings while you are doing so.