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Skipping San Diego

Every music fan in San Diego is all too familiar with the traditional skipping of America’s Finest City by some of America’s laziest bands. We all know the pattern: Play Phoenix or San Francisco, hit LA and then COMPLETELY SKIP SAN DIEGO!!! Is the nearly year-round abundant sunshine and coinciding pleasant weather patterns that repulsive to the rock and roll elite? Is it really that scary to be within a half-hour of the Mexican border? Are the United States most delicious burritos that much of a turn-off to professional musicians? One can only make an educated guess which is exactly what we shall do here! Here is a rundown of artists and bands hitting the LA vicinity, but skipping San Diego this month. We shall give their potential reasons for by-passing our local paradise and reveal how we shall deal with their absence.

Freelance Whales: El Ray Theater 10/16/12 Reason For Skipping SD: North Park did not rank high enough on Forbes list of “Best Hipster Cities” to warrant a show at Soda Bar. San Diego’s Reaction: The one guy in Golden Hill with their entire autographed discography will cry himself to sleep the night after their LA stop. Oh wait a second, he moved to Portland in May. The ten people who would’ve hit the show will shrug.

Eddie Money: The Canyon 10/19/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I got two tickets to paradise, but I’m gonna play this place called The Canyon instead!!! San Diego’s Reaction: Take me home tonight, I don‘t wanna drive up to The Canyon to watch Eddie Money or see the light.

Neil Young: Hollywood Bowl 10/17/12 Reason For Skipping SD: Rust may never sleep, but Neil Young and Crazy Horse require a solid three-day power-nap between Tulsa and LA. San Diego’s Reaction: Booooooooooo!!!!! A mid-October outbreak of barstool blues is expected.

Digital Underground: Alpine Village, Torrance 10/26/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I look funny, but yo I’m saving money by not playing a show in San Diego. San Diego’s Reaction: A wise man once said “The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump.” My mistake, that man wasn’t wise.

Maroon 5: Orpheum Theatre 10/19/12 Reason For Skipping SD: San Diegans seem cursed with “good taste” and don’t get excited when the world’s most generic rock band featuring that dude from “The Voice” roll into town. San Diego’s Reaction: Is there any way we can start a petition to make The Voice year-round so as to make it impossible for Maroon 5 to tour at all?

M. Ward: Orpheum Theatre 10/19/12 Reason For Skipping SD: C’mon, I rolled through town last spring!!! I promise to stop back during the next She & Him tour!!! San Diego’s Reaction: It’s just Him? Oh. Nevermind.

Madonna: Staples Center 10/11/12 and 10/12/12 Reason For Skipping SD: It is much more difficult to have sex with the entire Lakers basketball squad two nights in a row after playing a San Diego venue. San Diego’s Reaction: If we brought back The Clippers, maybe Madonna would consider a two-night stand at the Sports Arena.

The Darkness: Club Nokia 10/24/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I believe in a thing called love!!!! Just not in San Diego!!! San Diego’s Reaction: I believed in a thing called love for about two weeks in 2003.

Taking Back Sunday: Troubadour 10/23/12 Reason For Skipping SD: The Hot Topic in Mission Valley doesn’t stock enough of our t-shirts. San Diego’s Reaction: Yet another excuse to avoid the Soma.

Adam Ant: City National Grove of Anaheim 10/12/12 Reason For Skipping SD: Not enough goody two shoes. San Diego’s Reaction: We don’t drink and don’t smoke and we don’t live in 1982 anymore either.

Steve Vai: Club Nokia 10/12/12 Reason For Skipping SD: The Guitar Center in La Mesa doesn’t have a wall full of my signature Ibanez JEM guitars with the trademark handy-grip.
San Diego’s Reaction: Dude, we like totally loved that “Steve Vai Shreds” video on YouTube and can just watch that anytime.

Agent Orange: Tiki Bar (Costa Mesa) 10/13/12 Reason For Skipping SD: We’re filming a segment for a Vision Street Wear skate video that day. San Diego’s Reaction: We shalt drain a pool and grind some coping in your honor.

Duff McKagen’s Loaded: The Date Shed (Indio) 10/17/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I heard a rumor that Axl is supposed to be in town. San Diego’s Reaction: We would rather go check out this show than the current incarnation of Guns ‘N’ Roses.

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Every music fan in San Diego is all too familiar with the traditional skipping of America’s Finest City by some of America’s laziest bands. We all know the pattern: Play Phoenix or San Francisco, hit LA and then COMPLETELY SKIP SAN DIEGO!!! Is the nearly year-round abundant sunshine and coinciding pleasant weather patterns that repulsive to the rock and roll elite? Is it really that scary to be within a half-hour of the Mexican border? Are the United States most delicious burritos that much of a turn-off to professional musicians? One can only make an educated guess which is exactly what we shall do here! Here is a rundown of artists and bands hitting the LA vicinity, but skipping San Diego this month. We shall give their potential reasons for by-passing our local paradise and reveal how we shall deal with their absence.

Freelance Whales: El Ray Theater 10/16/12 Reason For Skipping SD: North Park did not rank high enough on Forbes list of “Best Hipster Cities” to warrant a show at Soda Bar. San Diego’s Reaction: The one guy in Golden Hill with their entire autographed discography will cry himself to sleep the night after their LA stop. Oh wait a second, he moved to Portland in May. The ten people who would’ve hit the show will shrug.

Eddie Money: The Canyon 10/19/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I got two tickets to paradise, but I’m gonna play this place called The Canyon instead!!! San Diego’s Reaction: Take me home tonight, I don‘t wanna drive up to The Canyon to watch Eddie Money or see the light.

Neil Young: Hollywood Bowl 10/17/12 Reason For Skipping SD: Rust may never sleep, but Neil Young and Crazy Horse require a solid three-day power-nap between Tulsa and LA. San Diego’s Reaction: Booooooooooo!!!!! A mid-October outbreak of barstool blues is expected.

Digital Underground: Alpine Village, Torrance 10/26/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I look funny, but yo I’m saving money by not playing a show in San Diego. San Diego’s Reaction: A wise man once said “The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump.” My mistake, that man wasn’t wise.

Maroon 5: Orpheum Theatre 10/19/12 Reason For Skipping SD: San Diegans seem cursed with “good taste” and don’t get excited when the world’s most generic rock band featuring that dude from “The Voice” roll into town. San Diego’s Reaction: Is there any way we can start a petition to make The Voice year-round so as to make it impossible for Maroon 5 to tour at all?

M. Ward: Orpheum Theatre 10/19/12 Reason For Skipping SD: C’mon, I rolled through town last spring!!! I promise to stop back during the next She & Him tour!!! San Diego’s Reaction: It’s just Him? Oh. Nevermind.

Madonna: Staples Center 10/11/12 and 10/12/12 Reason For Skipping SD: It is much more difficult to have sex with the entire Lakers basketball squad two nights in a row after playing a San Diego venue. San Diego’s Reaction: If we brought back The Clippers, maybe Madonna would consider a two-night stand at the Sports Arena.

The Darkness: Club Nokia 10/24/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I believe in a thing called love!!!! Just not in San Diego!!! San Diego’s Reaction: I believed in a thing called love for about two weeks in 2003.

Taking Back Sunday: Troubadour 10/23/12 Reason For Skipping SD: The Hot Topic in Mission Valley doesn’t stock enough of our t-shirts. San Diego’s Reaction: Yet another excuse to avoid the Soma.

Adam Ant: City National Grove of Anaheim 10/12/12 Reason For Skipping SD: Not enough goody two shoes. San Diego’s Reaction: We don’t drink and don’t smoke and we don’t live in 1982 anymore either.

Steve Vai: Club Nokia 10/12/12 Reason For Skipping SD: The Guitar Center in La Mesa doesn’t have a wall full of my signature Ibanez JEM guitars with the trademark handy-grip.
San Diego’s Reaction: Dude, we like totally loved that “Steve Vai Shreds” video on YouTube and can just watch that anytime.

Agent Orange: Tiki Bar (Costa Mesa) 10/13/12 Reason For Skipping SD: We’re filming a segment for a Vision Street Wear skate video that day. San Diego’s Reaction: We shalt drain a pool and grind some coping in your honor.

Duff McKagen’s Loaded: The Date Shed (Indio) 10/17/12 Reason For Skipping SD: I heard a rumor that Axl is supposed to be in town. San Diego’s Reaction: We would rather go check out this show than the current incarnation of Guns ‘N’ Roses.

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