Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The Tipping Point

Oh Lord. This is the part I hate. The tip.

Lessee. Ten percent, add half again…

“How much?” says Carla. This is the night when we had that blowout at French Gourmet (960 Turquoise Street, PB, 858-488-1725) with Carla’s buddies Linda and Eva. Dutch. (Actually Eva’s Dutch-Canadian, but I mean we were going Dutch.)

For Carla and me it cost eighty-five buckeroos.

Part of what $85 buys

I’m sure it was a deal, but still a sting at the end of the tail for a born and raised Scrooge like me.

So I’m trying to go “Ten percent is $8.5, plus half of that again…d’agh, $4.25, eight and four is twelve…"

Hate having to do this mental gymnastics just at the end when you’ve got all slow and sentimental and, face it, sleepy.

In among the wine barrels (okay it's a mural)

“Just jack it up to a hundred,” says Carla. “Then fifteen percent is, duh, fifteen. See, not rocket science…”

“But don't you realize?” I say. “How totally unfair this all is? If we’d eaten at the OB Townhouse like I suggested, it would’ve cost like twenty bucks for two of us, maybe thirty with your bacon sides and all, and I would’ve tipped the waitress $5 max. Here Jean-Pierre, whatever, is gonna get fifteen, twenty buckeroos for making exactly the same effort. Where’s the justice in that?”

“Plus,” says Carla, “you know what ‘tips’ stands for, ‘To Insure Prompt Service,’ right, so you should tip at the beginning, to insure prompt service. Right?”

“I thought it was ‘To Improve Performance,’ says Eva.

“I thought it was ‘To Inspire Promptness,’” says Linda.

“Just remember,” Carla says. “Owners usually count tips in as salary, so they pay low for positions like these. Edward, just put that Jackson down and leave it there.”

Sigh. Now it’s twenty percent?

“Hey,” I say. “I know what it stands for: ‘To Impoverish Patsies.’

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Second largest yellowfin tuna caught by rod and reel

Excel does it again

Oh Lord. This is the part I hate. The tip.

Lessee. Ten percent, add half again…

“How much?” says Carla. This is the night when we had that blowout at French Gourmet (960 Turquoise Street, PB, 858-488-1725) with Carla’s buddies Linda and Eva. Dutch. (Actually Eva’s Dutch-Canadian, but I mean we were going Dutch.)

For Carla and me it cost eighty-five buckeroos.

Part of what $85 buys

I’m sure it was a deal, but still a sting at the end of the tail for a born and raised Scrooge like me.

So I’m trying to go “Ten percent is $8.5, plus half of that again…d’agh, $4.25, eight and four is twelve…"

Hate having to do this mental gymnastics just at the end when you’ve got all slow and sentimental and, face it, sleepy.

In among the wine barrels (okay it's a mural)

“Just jack it up to a hundred,” says Carla. “Then fifteen percent is, duh, fifteen. See, not rocket science…”

“But don't you realize?” I say. “How totally unfair this all is? If we’d eaten at the OB Townhouse like I suggested, it would’ve cost like twenty bucks for two of us, maybe thirty with your bacon sides and all, and I would’ve tipped the waitress $5 max. Here Jean-Pierre, whatever, is gonna get fifteen, twenty buckeroos for making exactly the same effort. Where’s the justice in that?”

“Plus,” says Carla, “you know what ‘tips’ stands for, ‘To Insure Prompt Service,’ right, so you should tip at the beginning, to insure prompt service. Right?”

“I thought it was ‘To Improve Performance,’ says Eva.

“I thought it was ‘To Inspire Promptness,’” says Linda.

“Just remember,” Carla says. “Owners usually count tips in as salary, so they pay low for positions like these. Edward, just put that Jackson down and leave it there.”

Sigh. Now it’s twenty percent?

“Hey,” I say. “I know what it stands for: ‘To Impoverish Patsies.’

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

French, Italian and Carla

Next Article

Carla Plans a Party

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader