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The Drawer Below

"You don't like the desert but you live in El Cajon?" a friend asked. And he's right. It is stinkin' hot out here. According to Google's translation service, El Cajon means "the drawer below". Mental images begin brewing when I roll that around in my cheek. The drawer below. It's appropriate in my case, maybe much more than others. I'm thinking of the very bottom drawer on my own dresser. Its the place where I keep clothes I seldom wear, like that blue-and-white striped sweater I love but haven't worn since my last driver's license photo. And that Star Wars figure that I am just sure will be worth thousands some day. Oh, and there is those six socks that have no better half. And the train ticket from when I went to visit my sister. Cheap cologne, some broken headphones, a few batteries, 3 loose pennies, a peppermint candy, workout shorts, and a shirt that says "Joey's House of Crabs", an unfortunate gift that fortunately never fit me. Yes, the drawer below. This town fits that description. Its full of people who don't belong anywhere else. They are too rich to live in Lakeside, and too poor to live in La Jolla. I fit here, and I don't. I fit because I am a middle-class, working slob from another city of similar size and demographics but in another state. These my peeps, as they say. And yet, I don't fit because there is an overwhelming sense of not belonging here. I sense it sometimes when I see the looks on people's faces here, and hear their sad expressions of meaningless lives. I sense that they also feel as if this is merely a stopping place on their journey. Like my hometown, it is a vortex. A vortex full of old ideas, old thinking, stifled growth. The largest building here is the courthouse, where people flock from miles around to sue, get sued, marry, divorce, claim innocence and accept judgments. The tan courthouse stands as a shrine in this metropolis, an idol to the gods of commerce, order, and modern living. Its a feeling that haunts the inhabitants, reminds them of their vulnerability and weakness. It permeates and seeps through the souls of people, coming out of the tailpipes of their Harley Davidsons, sifting down the cement chutes of road crews, staining the burger wraps of their lives, getting lost in the thick of their beards, blending in with their tattoos, and the relentless buzz of 50 cell phone conversations blending and weaving into a sound that mimics the Cesnas above. And yet, when the night falls, and the neon arrives, there is a quietness that only humanity can emit. The quietness that silently whispers "We are all the same."

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"You don't like the desert but you live in El Cajon?" a friend asked. And he's right. It is stinkin' hot out here. According to Google's translation service, El Cajon means "the drawer below". Mental images begin brewing when I roll that around in my cheek. The drawer below. It's appropriate in my case, maybe much more than others. I'm thinking of the very bottom drawer on my own dresser. Its the place where I keep clothes I seldom wear, like that blue-and-white striped sweater I love but haven't worn since my last driver's license photo. And that Star Wars figure that I am just sure will be worth thousands some day. Oh, and there is those six socks that have no better half. And the train ticket from when I went to visit my sister. Cheap cologne, some broken headphones, a few batteries, 3 loose pennies, a peppermint candy, workout shorts, and a shirt that says "Joey's House of Crabs", an unfortunate gift that fortunately never fit me. Yes, the drawer below. This town fits that description. Its full of people who don't belong anywhere else. They are too rich to live in Lakeside, and too poor to live in La Jolla. I fit here, and I don't. I fit because I am a middle-class, working slob from another city of similar size and demographics but in another state. These my peeps, as they say. And yet, I don't fit because there is an overwhelming sense of not belonging here. I sense it sometimes when I see the looks on people's faces here, and hear their sad expressions of meaningless lives. I sense that they also feel as if this is merely a stopping place on their journey. Like my hometown, it is a vortex. A vortex full of old ideas, old thinking, stifled growth. The largest building here is the courthouse, where people flock from miles around to sue, get sued, marry, divorce, claim innocence and accept judgments. The tan courthouse stands as a shrine in this metropolis, an idol to the gods of commerce, order, and modern living. Its a feeling that haunts the inhabitants, reminds them of their vulnerability and weakness. It permeates and seeps through the souls of people, coming out of the tailpipes of their Harley Davidsons, sifting down the cement chutes of road crews, staining the burger wraps of their lives, getting lost in the thick of their beards, blending in with their tattoos, and the relentless buzz of 50 cell phone conversations blending and weaving into a sound that mimics the Cesnas above. And yet, when the night falls, and the neon arrives, there is a quietness that only humanity can emit. The quietness that silently whispers "We are all the same."

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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