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Ersatz News Source: Romney Swings Far Left, Joins Democrat Party, Endorses Obama; New Hybrid Dog Tops Breed List

Romney Swings Far Left, Joins Democrat Party, Endorses Obama (10/25/12)

Following a large breakfast of ham, eggs, pancakes and grits at a Cleveland, Ohio diner this morning, Governor Romney drank two cups of coffee and a large glass of apple juice. He then belched loudly, honked his nose into a napkin and stumbled outside. Greeting the paparazzi, he rubbed his bloated belly, yawned wide and announced, “You know what. I’m done with this friggin’ crapola. Screw all of the Republicans, the Mormons, and big ass-kissers. When I get back to Massachusetts, I’m registering as a Democrat and voting for Barrack.”

New Hybrid Dog Tops Breed List (10/25/12)

Dog breeders have succeeded in developing the almost perfect animal and families have responded enthusiastically. The dog is a mix of Shitzu and Scottie canines, and is affectively called a “Shittie”. One family in Las Vegas, Jack and Mary Jo Cynderall, bought a male and female pair with the intention of breeding and selling pups which are fetching upward of $2000 each from many crazed buyers. Mary Jo said, “These are by far the best dogs we’ve ever had. The only drawback I can think of is that they crap a whole lot.”

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Romney Swings Far Left, Joins Democrat Party, Endorses Obama (10/25/12)

Following a large breakfast of ham, eggs, pancakes and grits at a Cleveland, Ohio diner this morning, Governor Romney drank two cups of coffee and a large glass of apple juice. He then belched loudly, honked his nose into a napkin and stumbled outside. Greeting the paparazzi, he rubbed his bloated belly, yawned wide and announced, “You know what. I’m done with this friggin’ crapola. Screw all of the Republicans, the Mormons, and big ass-kissers. When I get back to Massachusetts, I’m registering as a Democrat and voting for Barrack.”

New Hybrid Dog Tops Breed List (10/25/12)

Dog breeders have succeeded in developing the almost perfect animal and families have responded enthusiastically. The dog is a mix of Shitzu and Scottie canines, and is affectively called a “Shittie”. One family in Las Vegas, Jack and Mary Jo Cynderall, bought a male and female pair with the intention of breeding and selling pups which are fetching upward of $2000 each from many crazed buyers. Mary Jo said, “These are by far the best dogs we’ve ever had. The only drawback I can think of is that they crap a whole lot.”

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