Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Far Side of the Lake

The trip had been planned for weeks. My fishing buddies and I would hit Lake Miramar in Scripps Ranch and take over the state record for number caught in a single day.
Ah, a day fishing...where a man can be a man: can respond to his every natural instinct: can revisit his inner masculine survivor without the social restraints imposed by the tradional male/female relationship.
So my wife says as we pushed off from the rental dock, "Let's run past the point there and try our hand at some early feeders on the bottom."
It's hard to argue with the best fisherman on board. The other two were our nephew Dale visiting from Oregon, and our friend Johnny from parts unknown.
The motor sputtered out early on that fateful morning. The last of the food followed shortly after. We kept a brave front and continued fishing as we were cast adrift into uncharted regions of the lake.
I was softly jostled alert as the boat came to rest on the sandy northern shore. Shaking the cobwebs I could tell the others had been dozing. The lack of food was beginnig to get to us all. 
I quickly surmised the situation called for calm. "We need a plan of action," I shouted. "and some rules."
"Rules? What the heck for?" Johnny eyeballed me.
As captain of the ship I realized the need to nip this sort of mutinous attitude in the bud. I reached down and rummanged the bottom of the boat; grasping a glass container I raised it above my head. I identified the talisman. "He who holds this Pabts Blue Ribbon bottle has the right to speak...and no other." I anticipated awed silence.
"You've had too much sun, Buddy-Boy," Johnny confirmed. 
Dale glanced back and forth between the two of us and asked, "S'up, Uncle D?"
"People, people, let's not get hasty. I'm your leader. We've got to have rules!" I repeated.
My wife patted me on the knee. "OK hon, why don't we all get out and stretch our legs."
The party moved ashore. We had no food and we were dangerously low on fresh water. I split duties and chores amongst the members of the group. Johnny was to hunt for food. Of course, with the lake so near, fish seemed the best option. Dale was to scale a nearby mountain top and scout for any possible occupants of this desolate land. My wife and I began work on a shelter since we could not guess the duration of our trail.
I realized my dear wife was suffering from shock when she asked, "Do you thing a lean-to is really neccessary?"
I tore the sleeves off my shirt as we worked--actually as I worked, my wife having refused to take part in such "silliness." I considered discussing with her the importance of insuring the continuation of the tribe, but decided there would be time later.  While searching for more wood to finish the shelter, I came across a mud puddle. The rich mocha mud had an even consistency and smeared onto my face easily. It quickly dried into an excellent war mask.
Johnny suspected nothing as I stealthfully exchanged sharpened sitcks for his "other world" spin-reel and rod. I had returned to camp by the time we heard Johnny crashing though the undergrowth.
"What the..?" My wife and I looked up as Johnny emerged breathless and agitated. "OK that's it..."
I stopped him short with a raised hand. "You don't have the PBR," I offered him the sacred bottle.
Johnny snatched it from my hand. "Someone has ripped my pole and left these crazy sharpened spear-sticks."
I took one of the spears in my hand and tested the weight and balance. "May I?" I reached for the PBR. Johnny pushed it into my hand. "Feels pretty good to me." I returned the spear.
"Good for what?" Johnmny asked in no small voice.
"For fishing," I said brightly.
My wife took the PBR and said, "I've had just about enough of all this. Can we head home soon?"
The poor thing was delusional. Not wanting to distress her further with a dose of reality, I decided the best thing was a dose of comfort. A FIRE! Yes, a fire. That would make us all feel more comfortable, more civilized, more like home.
Having lost my shoes somewhere along the way, I now walked barefooted to the obsolete nautical vessel we had floated in on. As I stood and considered the best way to dismantle the shipwreck, there came a strange mechanical sound from back towards camp. I first heard my wife's raised voice, then Johnny's, then Dale's. My survival instincts kicked in; I dropped everything and bolted for camp.
The three of them were busy loading poles, nets, jackets, and selves ito some king of 4-wheeled device.
"What is all this?" I asked.
"Hey, Unk," Dale smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "I hoofed around the lake and found your Hide-A-Key." He gestured to the idling vehicle. "May I present this royal chariot for your rescue, Sir." He looked at me and frowned. "What's all over you face?"
"Egg, Dale," my wife explained. "It's egg."

Daniel J McAuliffe

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Trophy truck crushes four at Baja 1000

"Two other racers on quads died too,"
Next Article

Raging Cider & Mead celebrates nine years

Company wants to bring America back to its apple-tree roots
The trip had been planned for weeks. My fishing buddies and I would hit Lake Miramar in Scripps Ranch and take over the state record for number caught in a single day.
Ah, a day fishing...where a man can be a man: can respond to his every natural instinct: can revisit his inner masculine survivor without the social restraints imposed by the tradional male/female relationship.
So my wife says as we pushed off from the rental dock, "Let's run past the point there and try our hand at some early feeders on the bottom."
It's hard to argue with the best fisherman on board. The other two were our nephew Dale visiting from Oregon, and our friend Johnny from parts unknown.
The motor sputtered out early on that fateful morning. The last of the food followed shortly after. We kept a brave front and continued fishing as we were cast adrift into uncharted regions of the lake.
I was softly jostled alert as the boat came to rest on the sandy northern shore. Shaking the cobwebs I could tell the others had been dozing. The lack of food was beginnig to get to us all. 
I quickly surmised the situation called for calm. "We need a plan of action," I shouted. "and some rules."
"Rules? What the heck for?" Johnny eyeballed me.
As captain of the ship I realized the need to nip this sort of mutinous attitude in the bud. I reached down and rummanged the bottom of the boat; grasping a glass container I raised it above my head. I identified the talisman. "He who holds this Pabts Blue Ribbon bottle has the right to speak...and no other." I anticipated awed silence.
"You've had too much sun, Buddy-Boy," Johnny confirmed. 
Dale glanced back and forth between the two of us and asked, "S'up, Uncle D?"
"People, people, let's not get hasty. I'm your leader. We've got to have rules!" I repeated.
My wife patted me on the knee. "OK hon, why don't we all get out and stretch our legs."
The party moved ashore. We had no food and we were dangerously low on fresh water. I split duties and chores amongst the members of the group. Johnny was to hunt for food. Of course, with the lake so near, fish seemed the best option. Dale was to scale a nearby mountain top and scout for any possible occupants of this desolate land. My wife and I began work on a shelter since we could not guess the duration of our trail.
I realized my dear wife was suffering from shock when she asked, "Do you thing a lean-to is really neccessary?"
I tore the sleeves off my shirt as we worked--actually as I worked, my wife having refused to take part in such "silliness." I considered discussing with her the importance of insuring the continuation of the tribe, but decided there would be time later.  While searching for more wood to finish the shelter, I came across a mud puddle. The rich mocha mud had an even consistency and smeared onto my face easily. It quickly dried into an excellent war mask.
Johnny suspected nothing as I stealthfully exchanged sharpened sitcks for his "other world" spin-reel and rod. I had returned to camp by the time we heard Johnny crashing though the undergrowth.
"What the..?" My wife and I looked up as Johnny emerged breathless and agitated. "OK that's it..."
I stopped him short with a raised hand. "You don't have the PBR," I offered him the sacred bottle.
Johnny snatched it from my hand. "Someone has ripped my pole and left these crazy sharpened spear-sticks."
I took one of the spears in my hand and tested the weight and balance. "May I?" I reached for the PBR. Johnny pushed it into my hand. "Feels pretty good to me." I returned the spear.
"Good for what?" Johnmny asked in no small voice.
"For fishing," I said brightly.
My wife took the PBR and said, "I've had just about enough of all this. Can we head home soon?"
The poor thing was delusional. Not wanting to distress her further with a dose of reality, I decided the best thing was a dose of comfort. A FIRE! Yes, a fire. That would make us all feel more comfortable, more civilized, more like home.
Having lost my shoes somewhere along the way, I now walked barefooted to the obsolete nautical vessel we had floated in on. As I stood and considered the best way to dismantle the shipwreck, there came a strange mechanical sound from back towards camp. I first heard my wife's raised voice, then Johnny's, then Dale's. My survival instincts kicked in; I dropped everything and bolted for camp.
The three of them were busy loading poles, nets, jackets, and selves ito some king of 4-wheeled device.
"What is all this?" I asked.
"Hey, Unk," Dale smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "I hoofed around the lake and found your Hide-A-Key." He gestured to the idling vehicle. "May I present this royal chariot for your rescue, Sir." He looked at me and frowned. "What's all over you face?"
"Egg, Dale," my wife explained. "It's egg."

Daniel J McAuliffe

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

'Canes Mutiny

Next Article

Weekend Snow Alert!!

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader