Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The Unofficial Eulogy of a Neighbor I Hardly Knew

On Monday morning February 13 2012, I heard some curious sounds outside my apartment door. I peeped through the hole in my door made for such a purpose and I saw many La Mesa police officers who were just standing around.

My first thought was, “Who here besides me would need a welfare check. “ Then I clearly heard someone trying not to vomit. Human retching is an unmistakable sound. I opened my door and I smelled it, the powerful and lingering odor of death.

“Who died? “ I spoke before I thought.

There was a young, cute, blonde officer guarding the death scene. Officer Cutie had his thumbs hooked onto his black equipment belt; he nodded his head indicating my neighbor Beach Dude, a man who lived across the hallway from me.

My mind whirled with thoughts-Beach Dude has become a bad smell a fate I often think about, my own death, my own bad smell.

Officer Cutie asked, “When did you last see your neighbor? “ I thought a moment and said, “I have not been out of my apartment since Thursday. I saw him then, on my way out to the store.” I flashed back to Thursday, Beach Dudes skin was as yellow as a banana and I thought then how he was sacrificing his liver to alcohol and pain medication.

The officers were all somber and I could hear the occasional retching sound. Later that same morning I heard someone knocking on my dead neighbor’s door. I poked my head out once again, “There is no one home but the dead guy.” I said. The morgue technician gave me smile that told me to shut up and go back inside.

I knew Beach Dude was a veteran of the Coast Guard. In our conversations, he would often describe what it was like to jump out of a helicopter into the Arctic Ocean. I knew he was struggling with the loss of his mobility. I heard that his Doctor was recommending another foot surgery.

Beach Dude thought that a personal mobility vehicle was not a manly mode of transport. I tried to argue that being manly had nothing to do with providing yourself the opportunity to enjoy life by remaining independent and mobile.

I held my up own mobility scooter as an example of how cool mobility can be. Many people want to be me as I am screaming down the sidewalk at nine miles per hour. That is as fast as the average teen-age boy can run.

Beach Dude was my age, a tall quiet man. We bonded one day while sharing 5150 stories about ourselves. He was impressed with my ability to elude the police while I marveled that he had the audacity to pick a fight with his arresting officers. I laughed at him and I told him how stupid it is to provoke a physical confrontation.

My past relationships with men have often been a do or die proposition for me, so I kept my distance from him. Provoking the police and fighting with them is what I call a red flag.

The sudden death of Beach Dude was a surprise; Old Paul would have been my choice as the man most likely to become a lingering odor. After all, he is the closest to death in age.

I think Beach Dude really did not want to be here any longer. He had to know that alcohol mixed with pain medication was a sure way to permanently interrupt the living process.

He had to know, right?

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Last plane out of Seoul, 1950

Memories of a daring escape at the start of a war
Next Article

Raging Cider & Mead celebrates nine years

Company wants to bring America back to its apple-tree roots

On Monday morning February 13 2012, I heard some curious sounds outside my apartment door. I peeped through the hole in my door made for such a purpose and I saw many La Mesa police officers who were just standing around.

My first thought was, “Who here besides me would need a welfare check. “ Then I clearly heard someone trying not to vomit. Human retching is an unmistakable sound. I opened my door and I smelled it, the powerful and lingering odor of death.

“Who died? “ I spoke before I thought.

There was a young, cute, blonde officer guarding the death scene. Officer Cutie had his thumbs hooked onto his black equipment belt; he nodded his head indicating my neighbor Beach Dude, a man who lived across the hallway from me.

My mind whirled with thoughts-Beach Dude has become a bad smell a fate I often think about, my own death, my own bad smell.

Officer Cutie asked, “When did you last see your neighbor? “ I thought a moment and said, “I have not been out of my apartment since Thursday. I saw him then, on my way out to the store.” I flashed back to Thursday, Beach Dudes skin was as yellow as a banana and I thought then how he was sacrificing his liver to alcohol and pain medication.

The officers were all somber and I could hear the occasional retching sound. Later that same morning I heard someone knocking on my dead neighbor’s door. I poked my head out once again, “There is no one home but the dead guy.” I said. The morgue technician gave me smile that told me to shut up and go back inside.

I knew Beach Dude was a veteran of the Coast Guard. In our conversations, he would often describe what it was like to jump out of a helicopter into the Arctic Ocean. I knew he was struggling with the loss of his mobility. I heard that his Doctor was recommending another foot surgery.

Beach Dude thought that a personal mobility vehicle was not a manly mode of transport. I tried to argue that being manly had nothing to do with providing yourself the opportunity to enjoy life by remaining independent and mobile.

I held my up own mobility scooter as an example of how cool mobility can be. Many people want to be me as I am screaming down the sidewalk at nine miles per hour. That is as fast as the average teen-age boy can run.

Beach Dude was my age, a tall quiet man. We bonded one day while sharing 5150 stories about ourselves. He was impressed with my ability to elude the police while I marveled that he had the audacity to pick a fight with his arresting officers. I laughed at him and I told him how stupid it is to provoke a physical confrontation.

My past relationships with men have often been a do or die proposition for me, so I kept my distance from him. Provoking the police and fighting with them is what I call a red flag.

The sudden death of Beach Dude was a surprise; Old Paul would have been my choice as the man most likely to become a lingering odor. After all, he is the closest to death in age.

I think Beach Dude really did not want to be here any longer. He had to know that alcohol mixed with pain medication was a sure way to permanently interrupt the living process.

He had to know, right?

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader