Here's something you might be interested in.
I traveled the great Western United States in my Motorhome, with my cat.
"The longest relationship I've ever had."
"Was with my cat."
I hit the road in 1996. I performed the first time in Reno, Nevada. There's a bar downtown called Shooters. I get there on a Tuesday, open mike night. Shooters is a small narrow bar, there was no stage, just a mike stand and a pair of speakers in the corner. One bartender, and a handful of people at the bar. I was terrified. But determined, so I simply read from my first set list.
"My mother is so evil."
" When she menstruates."
"A pentagram shows up in her underwear."
"My mother mentally abused me."
"She physically abused me."
" I sexually abused myself."
"I lost my virginity to a plump, pork, product."
" I'm a vegetarian now."
"I've been battling an eating disorder."
" I'm a bulimic amnesiac."
" I overeat, but I forget to puke."
"I cried for three days when my husband told me he wanted a divorce."
" He thought I was crying over him."
" I was crying because I had to get a job."
"The best part of making love with my ex-husband, the warm wash cloth afterward."
I must give credit where it is due. That last joke, was stolen from my sister-in-law. She was referring to my brother.
Now you know why, when I'm asked for an emergency contact, I make someone up.
I traveled the great Western United States in my Motorhome, with my cat.
"The longest relationship I've ever had."
"Was with my cat."
I hit the road in 1996. I performed the first time in Reno, Nevada. There's a bar downtown called Shooters. I get there on a Tuesday, open mike night. Shooters is a small narrow bar, there was no stage, just a mike stand and a pair of speakers in the corner. One bartender, and a handful of people at the bar. I was terrified. But determined, so I simply read from my first set list.
"My mother is so evil."
" When she menstruates."
"A pentagram shows up in her underwear."
"My mother mentally abused me."
"She physically abused me."
" I sexually abused myself."
"I lost my virginity to a plump, pork, product."
" I'm a vegetarian now."
"I've been battling an eating disorder."
" I'm a bulimic amnesiac."
" I overeat, but I forget to puke."
"I cried for three days when my husband told me he wanted a divorce."
" He thought I was crying over him."
" I was crying because I had to get a job."
"The best part of making love with my ex-husband, the warm wash cloth afterward."
I must give credit where it is due. That last joke, was stolen from my sister-in-law. She was referring to my brother.
Now you know why, when I'm asked for an emergency contact, I make someone up.