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Lifting Weights and Conducting Batons -- Both Can Be Dangerous

When I write about the idiots I see on the news or in the newspaper, sometimes I have to think twice about it.

For example, I heard about a guy lifting weights that dropped the thing on his neck as he was bench pressing. It took seven hours of surgery, and they feared he wouldn’t be able to talk again.

I thought about writing a piece where I say I wish most people that were big weight lifters didn’t talk. You ever hear some of them? It’s like listening to Andrew Dice Clay.

But then I found out this was a student playing football at USC or something. And, you can’t fault a kid that’s working hard and is probably pushed hard by his coaches.

So I thought I’d make fun of the conductor, who fell 14-feet from a stage in Florida. I figured, I made fun of Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. Why not make fun of the classical music folks? I’m sure they get injured a lot less, too. It’s not like a violin player gets his eye poked out playing Vivaldi or something. So I got to jump on this now.

Apparently, there was a movable orchestra pit. It was the opening night of the opera, which this conductor had written. Now, that to me, is impressive. Usually those conductors just twirl those sticks around, and really, who are they fooling? They aren’t doing a damn thing.

David Ott fractured nine vertebrae, broke his ankle, and dislocated his shoulder (I’m wondering if a person can conduct with a broken shoulder…or if they have problems with their rotator cuff, the way baseball pitchers do).

One thing this guy has going for him that most people in a hospital bed don’t. Instead of flipping the channels and wondering why Jerry Springer is on two different stations…he can write his next opus.

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When I write about the idiots I see on the news or in the newspaper, sometimes I have to think twice about it.

For example, I heard about a guy lifting weights that dropped the thing on his neck as he was bench pressing. It took seven hours of surgery, and they feared he wouldn’t be able to talk again.

I thought about writing a piece where I say I wish most people that were big weight lifters didn’t talk. You ever hear some of them? It’s like listening to Andrew Dice Clay.

But then I found out this was a student playing football at USC or something. And, you can’t fault a kid that’s working hard and is probably pushed hard by his coaches.

So I thought I’d make fun of the conductor, who fell 14-feet from a stage in Florida. I figured, I made fun of Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. Why not make fun of the classical music folks? I’m sure they get injured a lot less, too. It’s not like a violin player gets his eye poked out playing Vivaldi or something. So I got to jump on this now.

Apparently, there was a movable orchestra pit. It was the opening night of the opera, which this conductor had written. Now, that to me, is impressive. Usually those conductors just twirl those sticks around, and really, who are they fooling? They aren’t doing a damn thing.

David Ott fractured nine vertebrae, broke his ankle, and dislocated his shoulder (I’m wondering if a person can conduct with a broken shoulder…or if they have problems with their rotator cuff, the way baseball pitchers do).

One thing this guy has going for him that most people in a hospital bed don’t. Instead of flipping the channels and wondering why Jerry Springer is on two different stations…he can write his next opus.

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