Here's something you might be interested in.
My friend Heather told a story about taking the extra candy her kid got trick-or-treating, and how some Halloween fairy visited her child in the night and left her a toy. I think it was My Favorite Pony or something.
That’s a great scam. The adult gets some candy and can feel good about it, since really…does a child need all those goodies?
If my parents would’ve told me as a youngster about a Halloween fairy, I would’ve just pictured some ugly witch. I would’ve never been able to fall asleep, knowing her wart-filled hand was reaching under my pillow.
I have no shame when I go over to friends houses after Halloween. If I see a big bowl of their kids candy, I’ll camp out near it. They’ll always offer me a piece, which I immediately refuse. They insist, saying they don’t want their kid having that much. And, if the child is anywhere insight, I refuse. I’m not stupid. I don’t want that kid hating me, or keying my car. If the child isn’t around, he/she is going to return home to find less Kit Kats and Sweettarts.
And I can justify the candy theft, as both the parents offering it up and helping prevent cavities.
Apparently, this country doesn’t care about the teeth of our military folks. I saw there was a Candy Buy Back program involving local dentists. Children could sell their candy for $1 a pound to them, and they’d ship it overseas to the soldiers.
If I was a kid that walked two blocks to get a few Bit O Honeys and stale lollipops, I’m gonna be asking for more than a buck a pound.
And speaking of how much you’d spend for various things…as I watched a great Monday Night Football game with the Drew Brees and the Saints, I saw that the Phillies pulled out another game against the Yanks. And it reminded me of a story from a few days ago.
A woman in Philadelphia was charged with offering sex for World Series tickets. Her lawyer issued a statement that she was “a nice lady overcome with Phillies fever.” Well, it might be more than just a fever she catches, if she keeps putting ads like that on Craigslist.
She merely dropped double entendres (are there single entendres?) in her ad, but the police tried a sting on this 43-year-old buxom blonde. And sure enough, she offered up sexual favors.
People might ask why this is illegal. Well, it's prostitution.
I’m more curious as to her logic. She said her husband is a huge fan and she wanted to surprise him. Yeah, I’m guessing you could be the biggest fan of a sports team. The last thing you want is to come home and see your wife cheating on you with the Philly Phanatic.
In the unfunny Will Ferrel movie Semi-Pro had a bizarre scene in which Woody Harrelson had an affair with a woman whose husband was such a big fan of the team, he didn’t mind.
It’s 2:00 a.m., but in my best Harry Carey/Weird Al style, here’s a song just for this blog:
Take me to the World Series/ Take me to get rid of this disease.
Buy me some peanuts and you know what I’ll jack.... My husband won’t want me to ever come back!
I’ll rub your foot, foot, foot and more – Please. If you have tickets, I’ll feel no shame.
For it’s one, two, three times tonight/ From this old, blonde dame.
My friend Heather told a story about taking the extra candy her kid got trick-or-treating, and how some Halloween fairy visited her child in the night and left her a toy. I think it was My Favorite Pony or something.
That’s a great scam. The adult gets some candy and can feel good about it, since really…does a child need all those goodies?
If my parents would’ve told me as a youngster about a Halloween fairy, I would’ve just pictured some ugly witch. I would’ve never been able to fall asleep, knowing her wart-filled hand was reaching under my pillow.
I have no shame when I go over to friends houses after Halloween. If I see a big bowl of their kids candy, I’ll camp out near it. They’ll always offer me a piece, which I immediately refuse. They insist, saying they don’t want their kid having that much. And, if the child is anywhere insight, I refuse. I’m not stupid. I don’t want that kid hating me, or keying my car. If the child isn’t around, he/she is going to return home to find less Kit Kats and Sweettarts.
And I can justify the candy theft, as both the parents offering it up and helping prevent cavities.
Apparently, this country doesn’t care about the teeth of our military folks. I saw there was a Candy Buy Back program involving local dentists. Children could sell their candy for $1 a pound to them, and they’d ship it overseas to the soldiers.
If I was a kid that walked two blocks to get a few Bit O Honeys and stale lollipops, I’m gonna be asking for more than a buck a pound.
And speaking of how much you’d spend for various things…as I watched a great Monday Night Football game with the Drew Brees and the Saints, I saw that the Phillies pulled out another game against the Yanks. And it reminded me of a story from a few days ago.
A woman in Philadelphia was charged with offering sex for World Series tickets. Her lawyer issued a statement that she was “a nice lady overcome with Phillies fever.” Well, it might be more than just a fever she catches, if she keeps putting ads like that on Craigslist.
She merely dropped double entendres (are there single entendres?) in her ad, but the police tried a sting on this 43-year-old buxom blonde. And sure enough, she offered up sexual favors.
People might ask why this is illegal. Well, it's prostitution.
I’m more curious as to her logic. She said her husband is a huge fan and she wanted to surprise him. Yeah, I’m guessing you could be the biggest fan of a sports team. The last thing you want is to come home and see your wife cheating on you with the Philly Phanatic.
In the unfunny Will Ferrel movie Semi-Pro had a bizarre scene in which Woody Harrelson had an affair with a woman whose husband was such a big fan of the team, he didn’t mind.
It’s 2:00 a.m., but in my best Harry Carey/Weird Al style, here’s a song just for this blog:
Take me to the World Series/ Take me to get rid of this disease.
Buy me some peanuts and you know what I’ll jack.... My husband won’t want me to ever come back!
I’ll rub your foot, foot, foot and more – Please. If you have tickets, I’ll feel no shame.
For it’s one, two, three times tonight/ From this old, blonde dame.