Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

You're Suffocating Me

I was re-arranging some things in my room and I came across the suitcase I took last time I was in Vegas.

Inside it, I saw a letter I forgot to mail out. And also a news story I had ripped out of the paper to possibly blog about.

Since the news isn't dated, and it is along the lines of the burglarly with the banana, I thought I'd write it up now.

This involved someone suffocating (not on fruit). I figured I'd do the multiple choice again, so you can have the fun of guessing how the person suffocated.

A) Choked on his own vomit.

B) Choked on someone elses vomit.

C) Wearing an ascot that got tangled in a blender as he was making Margaritas.

D) Fawns from his palm tree fell on him.

E) He and his wife were getting kinky in the bedroom.

Yes, I can totally understand how you'd pick "E". We've heard so many stories of this happening to people. Try again.

Yes, "A" is a good guess, as so many rock stars (Hendrix, Bonham), have died this way. But this wasn't a rock star, or you would've heard about it.

Obviously you didn't pick "B", which was a nod to those rock "stars" in Spinal Tap.

You couldn't have picked "C", as the only people that wear ascotts are Warren Beatty and a handful of guys in Boca Raton.

That leaves (pun intended) "D"...fawns falling on the person and suffocating him.

That's what the newspaper said happened. I guess it's a nice change of pace from the usual person doing maintenance on their palm trees, and accidentally slicing off a hand or arm. Or the occasional person that falls off the ladder and breaking their neck.

The part that I had trouble with was that they didn't "crush" him, but they "suffocated" him. Now, it was always my stepdad that did the work on the palm trees in our front yard, but are those things really so heavy that you can't push them off you if you're buried in them?

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Trump names local supporter new Border Czar

Another Brick (Suit) in the Wall

I was re-arranging some things in my room and I came across the suitcase I took last time I was in Vegas.

Inside it, I saw a letter I forgot to mail out. And also a news story I had ripped out of the paper to possibly blog about.

Since the news isn't dated, and it is along the lines of the burglarly with the banana, I thought I'd write it up now.

This involved someone suffocating (not on fruit). I figured I'd do the multiple choice again, so you can have the fun of guessing how the person suffocated.

A) Choked on his own vomit.

B) Choked on someone elses vomit.

C) Wearing an ascot that got tangled in a blender as he was making Margaritas.

D) Fawns from his palm tree fell on him.

E) He and his wife were getting kinky in the bedroom.

Yes, I can totally understand how you'd pick "E". We've heard so many stories of this happening to people. Try again.

Yes, "A" is a good guess, as so many rock stars (Hendrix, Bonham), have died this way. But this wasn't a rock star, or you would've heard about it.

Obviously you didn't pick "B", which was a nod to those rock "stars" in Spinal Tap.

You couldn't have picked "C", as the only people that wear ascotts are Warren Beatty and a handful of guys in Boca Raton.

That leaves (pun intended) "D"...fawns falling on the person and suffocating him.

That's what the newspaper said happened. I guess it's a nice change of pace from the usual person doing maintenance on their palm trees, and accidentally slicing off a hand or arm. Or the occasional person that falls off the ladder and breaking their neck.

The part that I had trouble with was that they didn't "crush" him, but they "suffocated" him. Now, it was always my stepdad that did the work on the palm trees in our front yard, but are those things really so heavy that you can't push them off you if you're buried in them?

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Jewel started playing to drunks when she was eight

I think angels, personally
Next Article

Stars and Stripes on Roids

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader