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You're Suffocating Me

I was re-arranging some things in my room and I came across the suitcase I took last time I was in Vegas.

Inside it, I saw a letter I forgot to mail out. And also a news story I had ripped out of the paper to possibly blog about.

Since the news isn't dated, and it is along the lines of the burglarly with the banana, I thought I'd write it up now.

This involved someone suffocating (not on fruit). I figured I'd do the multiple choice again, so you can have the fun of guessing how the person suffocated.

A) Choked on his own vomit.

B) Choked on someone elses vomit.

C) Wearing an ascot that got tangled in a blender as he was making Margaritas.

D) Fawns from his palm tree fell on him.

E) He and his wife were getting kinky in the bedroom.

Yes, I can totally understand how you'd pick "E". We've heard so many stories of this happening to people. Try again.

Yes, "A" is a good guess, as so many rock stars (Hendrix, Bonham), have died this way. But this wasn't a rock star, or you would've heard about it.

Obviously you didn't pick "B", which was a nod to those rock "stars" in Spinal Tap.

You couldn't have picked "C", as the only people that wear ascotts are Warren Beatty and a handful of guys in Boca Raton.

That leaves (pun intended) "D"...fawns falling on the person and suffocating him.

That's what the newspaper said happened. I guess it's a nice change of pace from the usual person doing maintenance on their palm trees, and accidentally slicing off a hand or arm. Or the occasional person that falls off the ladder and breaking their neck.

The part that I had trouble with was that they didn't "crush" him, but they "suffocated" him. Now, it was always my stepdad that did the work on the palm trees in our front yard, but are those things really so heavy that you can't push them off you if you're buried in them?

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I was re-arranging some things in my room and I came across the suitcase I took last time I was in Vegas.

Inside it, I saw a letter I forgot to mail out. And also a news story I had ripped out of the paper to possibly blog about.

Since the news isn't dated, and it is along the lines of the burglarly with the banana, I thought I'd write it up now.

This involved someone suffocating (not on fruit). I figured I'd do the multiple choice again, so you can have the fun of guessing how the person suffocated.

A) Choked on his own vomit.

B) Choked on someone elses vomit.

C) Wearing an ascot that got tangled in a blender as he was making Margaritas.

D) Fawns from his palm tree fell on him.

E) He and his wife were getting kinky in the bedroom.

Yes, I can totally understand how you'd pick "E". We've heard so many stories of this happening to people. Try again.

Yes, "A" is a good guess, as so many rock stars (Hendrix, Bonham), have died this way. But this wasn't a rock star, or you would've heard about it.

Obviously you didn't pick "B", which was a nod to those rock "stars" in Spinal Tap.

You couldn't have picked "C", as the only people that wear ascotts are Warren Beatty and a handful of guys in Boca Raton.

That leaves (pun intended) "D"...fawns falling on the person and suffocating him.

That's what the newspaper said happened. I guess it's a nice change of pace from the usual person doing maintenance on their palm trees, and accidentally slicing off a hand or arm. Or the occasional person that falls off the ladder and breaking their neck.

The part that I had trouble with was that they didn't "crush" him, but they "suffocated" him. Now, it was always my stepdad that did the work on the palm trees in our front yard, but are those things really so heavy that you can't push them off you if you're buried in them?

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