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Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You

I have a love/hate relationship with movie trailers. I most recently had this discussion with a guy at a black film festival going on in Horton Plaza months back. He runs a website that is devoted to movie trailers.

On one hand, I enjoy them. Because so many movies look awful, at least if they show the best parts of the movie, I am entertained for the five minutes it's on the screen.

I've talked in the past about comedian Jim Gaffigans great bit on movie trailers (the fact that everyone has to comment after them, with things like "I'm not going to see that. It doesn't look very good. Maybe I'll wait for the video," as if we care what they think about this; and also wondering if they do that for commercials on products they see on TV).

Filmmaking genius Stanley Kubrick insisted on doing his own trailers. I think that's a great idea. Who better then the filmmaker to decide what you see and what is or isn't given away?

For The Shining, he showed blood coming out of the elevator. If you can believe this, theatres weren't going to show that, because of the gore. He lied and said it was supposed to be red wine.

Now, how disappointing would it have been to see a trailer that showed Nicholson breaking down a door, with his famous ad-libbed line of "Here's Johnny!"? Because, we'd anticipate that when it was happening, which kills all the fun.

In the new movie The Hangover, they ruin the cameo Mike Tyson has. Which is a shame, because it's funny seeing him do the Phil Collins drum solo right before he punches comedian Zach Galifianakis in the face. Yeah, I know...that type of scene has been done (with a guy in a movie liking some dorky song), but this is Mike Tyson. That makes it cool.

He had a great cameo in the last Rocky movie...I can't remember now what number it was. Maybe Rocky 7, I'm not sure.

As the fighters are entering the ring, he pushes one and a scuffle breaks out. Tyson is such a nut-job, at first I thought he really did that and wondered why he was ruining a movie that was being filmed. That's the feeling you should have when someone walks on screen for a cameo.

In Wedding Crashers, it would've killed the joke knowing that Will Ferrell was going to walk downstairs in a bathrobe, with nun-chucks around his neck...as the legendary wedding crasher Vince Vaughn admires.

There are two other trailers out right now that have disappointed me.

One is for the movie "My Life in Ruins," which is the latest from Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding). The scene shows her as a tour guide in Greece. She explains that they're locking the bus, so they can leave any items they want in the bus and not have to worry. She says something like "You can leave your cameras, jackets, purses...anything."

One guy raises his hand and says, "What about my camera?" She says yes, and an old lady asks "What about my jacket?"

It goes on, with passengers listing everything she just listed.

What poor writing. Maybe the first guy could've asked about a camera, and the second lady could've asked about some item she didn't mention. And, with the frustration on her face growing, another person ask about a different item, like their water bottle. She could then say "I said you could leave anything on the bus," to which the person would respond, "You said only cameras and purses. You never said anything about water bottles."

Now, I'm not saying that's hilarious. But at least it's more realistic than a bunch of clueless tourists (I've heard that there are a lot more cliches regarding the tourists -- Americans that are obnoxious, Australians that drink, etc).

One trailer that looked interesting was for an indie film called "Away We Go." It shows a young couple having a baby, and a lot of turmoil going on in their life.

The cast looks great (the aforementioned Jim Gaffigan, John Krasinski, Maya Rudolph, Jeff Daniels).

Well, at the end of a very funny and cute trailer, one couple is telling the couple that's about to have a baby, how her kids head is shaped funny (didn't we hear a similar line in Mike Meyers very underrated "So I Married an Axe Murderer"?). Krasinski suggests it might not be a good time to bring that up, as the boy is sitting right in front of them.

This mother says something along the lines of, "Oh, kids don't listen to anything you say. We're just white noise to them. Watch."

She then starts saying "Taylor? Taylor! Taylor, Taylor? Tay...Tay...Taylor."

The kid never looks up from his comic book and the crowd roars with laughter.

My problem with this trailer, and this scene...well, the trailer gives away so many funny parts, that I doubt there will be much comic relief left in the film. It's obviously going to be a serious movie, with some laughs sprinkled in. So...why show all the funny?

And, that scene could've been better had she not just shouted the kids name over and over. Because, what kid isn't going to hear his name being yelled over and over? And second...wouldn't it be a bit more clever to have her say, "Taylor, do you want some chocolate chip cookies for dinner?" When the kid doesn't look she can say "Okay Taylor, do you want me to raise your allowance to a thousand dollars a week?"

I dunno. Maybe instead of me bitching about all these weak screenplays, I should stop blogging about them and start writing them.

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Another Brick (Suit) in the Wall

I have a love/hate relationship with movie trailers. I most recently had this discussion with a guy at a black film festival going on in Horton Plaza months back. He runs a website that is devoted to movie trailers.

On one hand, I enjoy them. Because so many movies look awful, at least if they show the best parts of the movie, I am entertained for the five minutes it's on the screen.

I've talked in the past about comedian Jim Gaffigans great bit on movie trailers (the fact that everyone has to comment after them, with things like "I'm not going to see that. It doesn't look very good. Maybe I'll wait for the video," as if we care what they think about this; and also wondering if they do that for commercials on products they see on TV).

Filmmaking genius Stanley Kubrick insisted on doing his own trailers. I think that's a great idea. Who better then the filmmaker to decide what you see and what is or isn't given away?

For The Shining, he showed blood coming out of the elevator. If you can believe this, theatres weren't going to show that, because of the gore. He lied and said it was supposed to be red wine.

Now, how disappointing would it have been to see a trailer that showed Nicholson breaking down a door, with his famous ad-libbed line of "Here's Johnny!"? Because, we'd anticipate that when it was happening, which kills all the fun.

In the new movie The Hangover, they ruin the cameo Mike Tyson has. Which is a shame, because it's funny seeing him do the Phil Collins drum solo right before he punches comedian Zach Galifianakis in the face. Yeah, I know...that type of scene has been done (with a guy in a movie liking some dorky song), but this is Mike Tyson. That makes it cool.

He had a great cameo in the last Rocky movie...I can't remember now what number it was. Maybe Rocky 7, I'm not sure.

As the fighters are entering the ring, he pushes one and a scuffle breaks out. Tyson is such a nut-job, at first I thought he really did that and wondered why he was ruining a movie that was being filmed. That's the feeling you should have when someone walks on screen for a cameo.

In Wedding Crashers, it would've killed the joke knowing that Will Ferrell was going to walk downstairs in a bathrobe, with nun-chucks around his neck...as the legendary wedding crasher Vince Vaughn admires.

There are two other trailers out right now that have disappointed me.

One is for the movie "My Life in Ruins," which is the latest from Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding). The scene shows her as a tour guide in Greece. She explains that they're locking the bus, so they can leave any items they want in the bus and not have to worry. She says something like "You can leave your cameras, jackets, purses...anything."

One guy raises his hand and says, "What about my camera?" She says yes, and an old lady asks "What about my jacket?"

It goes on, with passengers listing everything she just listed.

What poor writing. Maybe the first guy could've asked about a camera, and the second lady could've asked about some item she didn't mention. And, with the frustration on her face growing, another person ask about a different item, like their water bottle. She could then say "I said you could leave anything on the bus," to which the person would respond, "You said only cameras and purses. You never said anything about water bottles."

Now, I'm not saying that's hilarious. But at least it's more realistic than a bunch of clueless tourists (I've heard that there are a lot more cliches regarding the tourists -- Americans that are obnoxious, Australians that drink, etc).

One trailer that looked interesting was for an indie film called "Away We Go." It shows a young couple having a baby, and a lot of turmoil going on in their life.

The cast looks great (the aforementioned Jim Gaffigan, John Krasinski, Maya Rudolph, Jeff Daniels).

Well, at the end of a very funny and cute trailer, one couple is telling the couple that's about to have a baby, how her kids head is shaped funny (didn't we hear a similar line in Mike Meyers very underrated "So I Married an Axe Murderer"?). Krasinski suggests it might not be a good time to bring that up, as the boy is sitting right in front of them.

This mother says something along the lines of, "Oh, kids don't listen to anything you say. We're just white noise to them. Watch."

She then starts saying "Taylor? Taylor! Taylor, Taylor? Tay...Tay...Taylor."

The kid never looks up from his comic book and the crowd roars with laughter.

My problem with this trailer, and this scene...well, the trailer gives away so many funny parts, that I doubt there will be much comic relief left in the film. It's obviously going to be a serious movie, with some laughs sprinkled in. So...why show all the funny?

And, that scene could've been better had she not just shouted the kids name over and over. Because, what kid isn't going to hear his name being yelled over and over? And second...wouldn't it be a bit more clever to have her say, "Taylor, do you want some chocolate chip cookies for dinner?" When the kid doesn't look she can say "Okay Taylor, do you want me to raise your allowance to a thousand dollars a week?"

I dunno. Maybe instead of me bitching about all these weak screenplays, I should stop blogging about them and start writing them.

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