Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Furious George -- Chimps Gone Wild!

You know how you laugh at something you shouldn't? A person might walk into a glass door they didn't notice was shut, and they're visibly hurt. But you laugh.

I had one of those moments when I was heading home from basketball, and heard the 911 call from the lady with Travis the chimp, who attacked the neighbor. She had this Jersey accent as she was crying and screaming. And just the idea that a 911 operator is listening to someone say "a chimp just ate my friend."

It is obviously a horrible tragedy, but it's just hard for me to have sympathy for those involved.

I remember a few years back someone that had raised a gorilla or some kind of monkey...and he went to visit it at the place that was taking care of it. The animal promptly ripped his testicles out.

At that point, anyone that owned a monkey should've gotten rid of it. Except for maybe Michael Jackson. After all, he probably doesn't have to worry about anything like that being ripped from him.

One guy was making the shows today. He had his face eaten by a chimp. They made this nose that sticks to his face with magnets. Again, I thought of Michael Jackson.

And of all the fun things you could do with a detachable nose. Your grandmother makes an apple pie, and you can pull it off and move it over the pie and say how delicious it smells. The possibilities are endless.

So, this chimp Travis went and turned Travis Bickle on everyone, huh? And, the reports are all saying how surprised everyone is, because this chimp had done commercials. So what?

There was an actor that tried to kill a woman in San Marcos recently. It doesn't matter what someone does...especially animals. Even if they are potty trained, and eat at the table.

I heard that the woman was concerned with him acting weird, so she laced his tea with Xanax. Good move.

I also like the move where you call a neighbor for help with your surly chimp. I mean, asking a neighbor to help you move a couch is one thing, or to borrow sugar. Not for you to get your 200 pound animal in check.

Ya know...when I did my Oscar picks the other day, I was pleasantly surprised to see Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood, didn't get a single nomination.

I'm now thinking about all those movies he did in the 70s, with Geoffrey Lewis (Juliette's dad), and that lovable chimp Clyde, who would punch cops and motorcycle gangs, without differentiating between the two.

He would also crack open a beer and down it with Clint. Not unlike Travis, who apparently sipped wine at the table.

I guess now he'll be sipping wine at that great big zoo in the sky...or, wait. The chimp murdered someone. Does that mean he goes to hell? Surely an animal going on instinct doesn't belong in hell.

Oh, it's all so confusing.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Big swordfish, big marlin, and big money

Trout opener at Santee Lakes
Next Article

At 4pm, this Farmer's Table restaurant in Chula Vista becomes Acqua e Farina

Brunch restaurant by day, Roman style trattoria by night

You know how you laugh at something you shouldn't? A person might walk into a glass door they didn't notice was shut, and they're visibly hurt. But you laugh.

I had one of those moments when I was heading home from basketball, and heard the 911 call from the lady with Travis the chimp, who attacked the neighbor. She had this Jersey accent as she was crying and screaming. And just the idea that a 911 operator is listening to someone say "a chimp just ate my friend."

It is obviously a horrible tragedy, but it's just hard for me to have sympathy for those involved.

I remember a few years back someone that had raised a gorilla or some kind of monkey...and he went to visit it at the place that was taking care of it. The animal promptly ripped his testicles out.

At that point, anyone that owned a monkey should've gotten rid of it. Except for maybe Michael Jackson. After all, he probably doesn't have to worry about anything like that being ripped from him.

One guy was making the shows today. He had his face eaten by a chimp. They made this nose that sticks to his face with magnets. Again, I thought of Michael Jackson.

And of all the fun things you could do with a detachable nose. Your grandmother makes an apple pie, and you can pull it off and move it over the pie and say how delicious it smells. The possibilities are endless.

So, this chimp Travis went and turned Travis Bickle on everyone, huh? And, the reports are all saying how surprised everyone is, because this chimp had done commercials. So what?

There was an actor that tried to kill a woman in San Marcos recently. It doesn't matter what someone does...especially animals. Even if they are potty trained, and eat at the table.

I heard that the woman was concerned with him acting weird, so she laced his tea with Xanax. Good move.

I also like the move where you call a neighbor for help with your surly chimp. I mean, asking a neighbor to help you move a couch is one thing, or to borrow sugar. Not for you to get your 200 pound animal in check.

Ya know...when I did my Oscar picks the other day, I was pleasantly surprised to see Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood, didn't get a single nomination.

I'm now thinking about all those movies he did in the 70s, with Geoffrey Lewis (Juliette's dad), and that lovable chimp Clyde, who would punch cops and motorcycle gangs, without differentiating between the two.

He would also crack open a beer and down it with Clint. Not unlike Travis, who apparently sipped wine at the table.

I guess now he'll be sipping wine at that great big zoo in the sky...or, wait. The chimp murdered someone. Does that mean he goes to hell? Surely an animal going on instinct doesn't belong in hell.

Oh, it's all so confusing.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

911 -- What's Your Emergency?

Next Article

Military/Flag News Stories (and yes, Michael Jackson)

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader