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The Dog Blog -- Acquiring a Mutt

So the last time I wrote about the dog, we were second on the list to get this little white puffy bundle of fur.

It was a matlepoo, and we were second on the list.

I had planned to show up early and convince the first couple that we needed that dog. My girlfriend was against offering them money or any sob story. Which is a shame, because I had a great story lined up.

None of that was necessary, as the first people didn't show up. My girlfriend and I were so excited, and we started doing the paper work.

We were told it would be two days before we could pick up Cotton, as they were going to neuter him. I asked if we could spend five minutes with him before the surgery. I wanted him to...I'm not sure...maybe get to know us a little bit. And, I know surgery in that area can be painful. In the late 80s I had a penis reduction. I was just tired of not being able to wear shorts when I played basketball, and...okay...that last part was a lie. Although I do think I recall the circumcision. I may have only been a few days old....

Okay, that was the attempt at humor portion of the blog.

After spending 10 minutes playing with the dog and being sad we'd have to leave him for a few days, we headed out. A cute, short woman in her mid-20s approached us. She asked about the dog. We told her a little about him and she says, "Yeah, I really wanted that dog. I was third on the list."

I told her about how we didn't think we'd get him, as the shelter said small dogs are always taken right away. She said, "Can I give you money for him?" I laughed and said, "We were going to offer money to the people in front of us." I start to tell her the story, and in the back of my head I'm thinking...you just offered me money. It cost us $65 to get the dog from the pound. So what was she going to offer us? $50? 100?

And, it's really strange when people offer to buy things from you. I had a Violent Femmes concert tee someone offered to buy from me. It was 10 years old. I asked them how much and they said "Ten bucks." I had paid $25 for it at the concert!

I had a shirt I got in London that was $85. A woman running a deli wanted it for her husband, and offered to buy it from me. I told her I'd sell it for what I paid. When she heard $85, she freaked. And didn't buy it.

I was once at a beach party and Office Space had just come out. Someone was wearing a T-shirt with Milton on the front, with the words "Someone stole my stapler." On the back it said "Office Space," with a little red stapler. I asked the guy where he got the shirt, and he said when he was back east. I said, "I'll give you $50 for it." He was stoked, but said "Can we wait until I'm ready to leave the party? I don't want to be standing here without a shirt."

Well, at some point he spilled red wine on it. And...yeah, a red stapler is something Milton may have wanted, but red wine staining his face wasn't something I wanted. The deal was off. I felt kind of bad. Although two different people at the party were giving me their recipes for combining baking soda and detergents, claiming it would get rid of the stains.

But back to the dog.

As we're explaining all about him to this woman, she just started walking away while I'm mid-sentence. She slammed a door and my girlfriend and I look at each other. I said, "Was it something I said?" I guess the fact that I didn't say "Okay, the dog is yours..."

We went and bought a doggie bed, leashes, food, bowls, and it was the best shopping spree ever. I found a few small shirts which we thought would look great on Cotton. My stepbrother said, "You know how I know you're gay?...."

I'm going to have letters put on this little leather jacket I got for him that say "Notorious D.O.G." and "Doggie Smalls."

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So the last time I wrote about the dog, we were second on the list to get this little white puffy bundle of fur.

It was a matlepoo, and we were second on the list.

I had planned to show up early and convince the first couple that we needed that dog. My girlfriend was against offering them money or any sob story. Which is a shame, because I had a great story lined up.

None of that was necessary, as the first people didn't show up. My girlfriend and I were so excited, and we started doing the paper work.

We were told it would be two days before we could pick up Cotton, as they were going to neuter him. I asked if we could spend five minutes with him before the surgery. I wanted him to...I'm not sure...maybe get to know us a little bit. And, I know surgery in that area can be painful. In the late 80s I had a penis reduction. I was just tired of not being able to wear shorts when I played basketball, and...okay...that last part was a lie. Although I do think I recall the circumcision. I may have only been a few days old....

Okay, that was the attempt at humor portion of the blog.

After spending 10 minutes playing with the dog and being sad we'd have to leave him for a few days, we headed out. A cute, short woman in her mid-20s approached us. She asked about the dog. We told her a little about him and she says, "Yeah, I really wanted that dog. I was third on the list."

I told her about how we didn't think we'd get him, as the shelter said small dogs are always taken right away. She said, "Can I give you money for him?" I laughed and said, "We were going to offer money to the people in front of us." I start to tell her the story, and in the back of my head I'm thinking...you just offered me money. It cost us $65 to get the dog from the pound. So what was she going to offer us? $50? 100?

And, it's really strange when people offer to buy things from you. I had a Violent Femmes concert tee someone offered to buy from me. It was 10 years old. I asked them how much and they said "Ten bucks." I had paid $25 for it at the concert!

I had a shirt I got in London that was $85. A woman running a deli wanted it for her husband, and offered to buy it from me. I told her I'd sell it for what I paid. When she heard $85, she freaked. And didn't buy it.

I was once at a beach party and Office Space had just come out. Someone was wearing a T-shirt with Milton on the front, with the words "Someone stole my stapler." On the back it said "Office Space," with a little red stapler. I asked the guy where he got the shirt, and he said when he was back east. I said, "I'll give you $50 for it." He was stoked, but said "Can we wait until I'm ready to leave the party? I don't want to be standing here without a shirt."

Well, at some point he spilled red wine on it. And...yeah, a red stapler is something Milton may have wanted, but red wine staining his face wasn't something I wanted. The deal was off. I felt kind of bad. Although two different people at the party were giving me their recipes for combining baking soda and detergents, claiming it would get rid of the stains.

But back to the dog.

As we're explaining all about him to this woman, she just started walking away while I'm mid-sentence. She slammed a door and my girlfriend and I look at each other. I said, "Was it something I said?" I guess the fact that I didn't say "Okay, the dog is yours..."

We went and bought a doggie bed, leashes, food, bowls, and it was the best shopping spree ever. I found a few small shirts which we thought would look great on Cotton. My stepbrother said, "You know how I know you're gay?...."

I'm going to have letters put on this little leather jacket I got for him that say "Notorious D.O.G." and "Doggie Smalls."

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