Best Job Ever? Best Husband Ever?
I heard a couple stories that made me cringe. You know that cringe when you see a guy get hit right in the ‘nads? First, on Jimmy Kimmel last night, he talked about a Colombian man who castrated himself. He …
Are You Ready For Some Football Debates?
I hate when there’s a sports topic I want to cover in a blog. I envision non-sports fans just tuning out. But after listening to all the sports talk on the AM dial yesterday, I couldn’t resist. It started with …
The Bee Blog
I saw this story in the Union-Tribune a week ago. It was about brothers in Los Angeles that had a bees’ nest in their backyard. They decided the nest should be removed from their shed and that the best way …
This Blog Rated PG
I heard a movie star talking about a film he was in. He mentioned it was the first movie that got the PG 13 rating. I was surprised, because I remember when I was 13, the movie Dreamscape came out. …
Stealing Christmas Gifts (where's McGruff the Crime Dog?)
My sister flew in from Northern California. I picked her up at the airport and we hit Tio Leo’s in Bay Park. It’s the first time in December they haven’t had the fountain in the lobby covered by a Christmas …
Unprepared Christmas Gifts
My friend Judy is a genius. She’s a retired attorney that does volunteer work for the ACLU. So…maybe not as much of a genius as I think. But… She gave me a gift for Christmas. And, I had seen these …
Crazy Calls to 911
On MSN.com there was a story out of Texas that I loved. Prosecutors are going to charge a woman that has called 911 over 30 times in a six month period. All of those times were for non-emergency reasons (including …
The Predictable Pandora's Box is Opening
My girlfriend kind of wanted to see Red Cliff during its two week run at the Ken Cinema. It didn’t look appealing to me. But a few of my movie buff friends were telling me how great it was, so …
The Brittany Murphy Debate
Brittany Murphy died. I think she was in her early 30s. I never saw her in that movie where she was locked up and crazy. Although, great timing for Saturday Night Live to have a cast member do an impersonation …
Don't Bring a Snowball to a Gun Fight
A friend of mine emailed me a story about a woman in Boston that called 911. If I tell you that a car theft was involved, that wouldn’t sound so strange. But it was the video game “Grand Theft Auto” …
Auschwitz and Abbey Road Have Something in Common
The Associated Press had a story on a Nazi death camp. What was strange was that it was about a sign at Auschwitz that had been stolen. The 16-foot sign said “Arbeit Macht Frei”…and really, who wouldn’t want those German …
A Dumb Person Going Rogue in Hawaii
I didn’t want to blog about Sarah Palin. She’s been talked about to death. But something happened the other day that was so utterly ridiculous. She was on a beach in Hawaii and photos were taken of her. She was …
Day at the DMV (and dumb NFL players)
My day started off so well. I got a call from my biggest rival in fantasy football. For 10 years we’ve been going back and forth about which of us has the worst luck. I seem to always have big …
At the Movies
There’s an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and George debate the percentage of good looking women. George thinks a high percentage of the female population is attractive. Jerry thinks it’s low, and his proof is when he asks George “Have …
Lugging Luggage Not Hard for This Thief
I’m excited about seeing my sister, who’s flying in from Northern California for the holidays. Since I live closest to the airport, the duty of picking her up falls on me. But the truth is, I don’t mind picking people …
A City Under Television Skies
I remember reading a book about Led Zeppelin as a teenager. There was an interesting meeting between the band and Elvis Presley. He asked for their autographs for his daughter. She was a fan. Drummer John Bonham complimented his diamond …
Everybody's Got Something to Hide (especially me and my monkey meat)
A few stories from the Associated Press caught my eye. One involves a woman killing her roommate. Nothing so unusual about that. I mean, someone eats your Swanson TV dinner, it’s on. This dispute apparently had to do with the …
Family Ties -- The Keaton Curse
I remember watching Family Ties in the 80s. The show started early in the decade, and ended its run before 1990. Having a dad that hated Reagan, I especially enjoyed the debates between the conservative son and his liberal father. …
911, What's Your Emergency?
I called 911 last night. But it’s not nearly as exciting as when Donna Jackson, the 57-year-old Oklahoma resident, called the other day. Some guy was breaking into her house. And on her 911 call, you can hear the pounding …
Spit Happens (and so do chimp attacks)
A few days ago I read a story in the paper about that chimp owner and how she wasn’t going to be charged in the attack that mauled her friend. The “friend” appeared on Oprah. I didn’t see it, but …
Cuckoo for Zhu Zhus
I was talking to a friend last week about gimmicky gifts that become popular around the holiday. I mentioned getting a Rubik’s Cube in my stocking as a teenager, when those were all the rage. My parents were impressed that …
The Biggest Loser Blog
Tonight I was watching The Biggest Loser finale. And I have to admit, I felt like the biggest loser. I was actually eating pasta, garlic bread, and a Dr. Pepper while watching the festivities. I told my girlfriend I was …
Rain, Rain, Go Away...
I almost missed my morning racquetball games, because the power went out. I'd wake up, glance at the digital clock, and see nothing. I ended up sleeping until 11, only to find out my guys were meeting at the court …
Parachutting Accidents and Sex Changes
I just can’t get enough of the idiotic criminals. As I watching all the great football games today, I was reading some interesting stories in the Union-Tribune. There was a story out of Colorado, that involved a woman being caught …
Liver and Mushrooms
People wonder why I don’t have sympathy for people that die in weird ways. And I always tell them…I have lots of sympathy for their family. It’s just hard to feel sad for someone that was an idiot. Every year …
Criminals Capitalizing on Dead Victims
A week ago, a high school counselor and musician died in a hospital waiting room of a Frankford hospital, after suffering pains in his arm and torso (they assume it was a heart attack). Three idiots that witnessed this decided …
Work Outs, Gumballs, and Game Nazis
A few observations from a day earlier this week. I went to LA Fitness for a basketball game. They have some kind of stair climbing machines they place right in front of the window. It’s sometimes distracting when attractive women …
Committing Crimes with Kids in Tow
I saw this story on the local news stations. A 69-year-od bank robber in the City Heights area, was arrested. He made a phony bomb threat. The retired mortgage broker, plead guilty to a felony robbery charge and misdemeanor charge …
Kick a Kid
About a month ago, I heard about a middle school in Florida that suspended a few kids. They were participating in something called “kick a Jew day”. I have to think, if there’s a day like that, Florida is where …