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Steven Tyler and Eunice Shriver -- One is Dead. One Looks Dead.

On all the rock radio stations this past week, I kept hearing about Steven Tyler, the singer of Aerosmith. For those that aren't familiar with him...he actually has bigger lips (and is uglier) than Mick Jagger.

He fell off a stage during a concert and broke his shoulder and needed stitches on his head.

For some reason, when people fall off stages during a song, it always makes me chuckle. I know, that's horrible. But it's always people that I think are goof-balls.

I used to love Ann-Margret. I mean, she tore up the screen in Bye Bye Birdie and Viva Las Vegas. But I got so sick of listening to her try to sound sexy in interviews. She would whisper so much, I would wait for Larry King to yell "I can't hear a word you're saying!!"

So when I heard about her taking a spill off a stage, I laughed. I could just imagine her trying to be sexy and then....well, nothing sexy about falling flat on your face.

Stevie Nicks took a fall once. I had heard her say in an interview that she needs glasses really bad, but that she doesn't look sexy wearing them. And it's true. I can't imagine her singing Gold Dust Woman, with one of those white witchy looking outfits she wears, with some Buddy Holly specs on her face.

But what made me laugh about the Steven Tyler spill, is that he was singing one of the stupidest songs in rock history. It's called "Love in an Elevator." It's got such, uh...catchy lines as "I'm living it up when I'm going down," and a lot of other double entendres.

Now, Aerosmith used to be great at lyrics like this. They did a song about having "a big ten-inch....record of his favorite blues." They have a song called "Lord of the Thighs." Their album "Toys in the Attic" is one of my favorites.

But "Love in an Elevator"?

Jackie's in the elevator/Oh-ooo Lingerie, 2nd floor/Oh-yeah....

Those are some horrible lyrics. I mean, maybe I'd take something like this from Whitesnake. But only if they had that model on the hood of a Jaguar.

And don't get me wrong. I loved the fact that the singer and guitarist tackled their drug problems and made a comeback. Now, I hear their drummer just wrote a book about his drug problems. But please...stop with stupid rock songs.

All this leads to Eunice Shriver.

I walked in and turned on the TV, and before the screen came up I heard the announcer say that Eunice Shriver had passed away. For some reason, I thought he said "Steven Tyler." And when her face came on the screen, I thought it was Tyler!

Sure, she's an 88-year-old woman...but have you seen Steven lately?

Anyway, that's a woman passing that I can have sympathy for. She was a social worker, always involved in good causes (she was one of the founders of the Special Olympics in the late 60s). And it was probably all that work she did with the mentally handicapped, that prepared her for daughter Maria marrying Arnold.

I have the feeling Steven Tyler, like other rock stars (Iggy Pop, Keith Richards) -- who look like they died 20 years ago -- will go on to live well into their 90s.

I'm just not sure what lyrics Mr. Tyler will provide us at that age.

Love in a senior center Living it up, when I take my teeth out!

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On all the rock radio stations this past week, I kept hearing about Steven Tyler, the singer of Aerosmith. For those that aren't familiar with him...he actually has bigger lips (and is uglier) than Mick Jagger.

He fell off a stage during a concert and broke his shoulder and needed stitches on his head.

For some reason, when people fall off stages during a song, it always makes me chuckle. I know, that's horrible. But it's always people that I think are goof-balls.

I used to love Ann-Margret. I mean, she tore up the screen in Bye Bye Birdie and Viva Las Vegas. But I got so sick of listening to her try to sound sexy in interviews. She would whisper so much, I would wait for Larry King to yell "I can't hear a word you're saying!!"

So when I heard about her taking a spill off a stage, I laughed. I could just imagine her trying to be sexy and then....well, nothing sexy about falling flat on your face.

Stevie Nicks took a fall once. I had heard her say in an interview that she needs glasses really bad, but that she doesn't look sexy wearing them. And it's true. I can't imagine her singing Gold Dust Woman, with one of those white witchy looking outfits she wears, with some Buddy Holly specs on her face.

But what made me laugh about the Steven Tyler spill, is that he was singing one of the stupidest songs in rock history. It's called "Love in an Elevator." It's got such, uh...catchy lines as "I'm living it up when I'm going down," and a lot of other double entendres.

Now, Aerosmith used to be great at lyrics like this. They did a song about having "a big ten-inch....record of his favorite blues." They have a song called "Lord of the Thighs." Their album "Toys in the Attic" is one of my favorites.

But "Love in an Elevator"?

Jackie's in the elevator/Oh-ooo Lingerie, 2nd floor/Oh-yeah....

Those are some horrible lyrics. I mean, maybe I'd take something like this from Whitesnake. But only if they had that model on the hood of a Jaguar.

And don't get me wrong. I loved the fact that the singer and guitarist tackled their drug problems and made a comeback. Now, I hear their drummer just wrote a book about his drug problems. But please...stop with stupid rock songs.

All this leads to Eunice Shriver.

I walked in and turned on the TV, and before the screen came up I heard the announcer say that Eunice Shriver had passed away. For some reason, I thought he said "Steven Tyler." And when her face came on the screen, I thought it was Tyler!

Sure, she's an 88-year-old woman...but have you seen Steven lately?

Anyway, that's a woman passing that I can have sympathy for. She was a social worker, always involved in good causes (she was one of the founders of the Special Olympics in the late 60s). And it was probably all that work she did with the mentally handicapped, that prepared her for daughter Maria marrying Arnold.

I have the feeling Steven Tyler, like other rock stars (Iggy Pop, Keith Richards) -- who look like they died 20 years ago -- will go on to live well into their 90s.

I'm just not sure what lyrics Mr. Tyler will provide us at that age.

Love in a senior center Living it up, when I take my teeth out!

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