A childhood friend of mine is now a professor. If you're at his house when Jeopardy! is on, you wonder how a person can know so much about such a variety of topics.

He auditioned for the show, and ended up being at their studio to take a long test. Of the 35 people with him that took the test (one being a popular writer for Sports Illustrated), none of them made the cut. And he told me he did well on it.

If you think you have what it takes, this Saturday from 5 to 7 p.m. at Valley View Casino, they are testing people for the show. Good luck.

If you think you have what it takes to play pro basketball, the San Diego Wildcats of the ABA, are holding a tryout Saturday, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. You'd still have time to make it to Jeopardy! after the lay-up drills.

For some reason, they are charging you $60 to tryout. I guess that's just to keep you from doing it unless you're serious. It probably keeps them from having their time wasted. And, it makes sense. If there was no charge, I would go try-out. Just to see how well I'd do against pros. And, you can always tell someone you "had a tryout with an ABA team."

This all reminded me of a story that I wrote for the Reader years ago. They never ran it. And, the pro basketball team it was about has folded. I figured I'd post it here, so the story doesn't just go to waste.

Enjoy:

As a kid, I dreamed of playing professional basketball. It didn't matter that my mom was a 5'3" Jewish lady - not the type that give birth to NBA stars. When I sat the bench my first year on the high school team, I realized the NBA wasn't in my future. When I played in some pickup games with college basketball players, I realized that, although I was six feet tall, my skills would never be at that level.

But I finally got to play a game with some professional basketball players. The NWBL has been around for six years, and last year, they brought in the San Diego Siege. Unfortunately, the league looks like it's already folding. They aren't holding tryouts, no games have been scheduled at San Diego City College, and the President and founder isn't returning calls. Luckily, I got to play a game against some of them last year.

Since my friends all think any guy could beat a woman in the WNBA, I thought this would be a great test. The GM of the Siege, David McElwee, liked the idea. But there were things in the players contracts prohibiting this. I resorted to sending emails calling them "chicken." I assured the GM, who also talked to the coach, that nobody would get hurt. I was even thinking about changing the challenge to a game of "Horse."

I went to scout the players. The crowd was only around 100 fans. It reminded me of the last year the Clippers were in town.

The Siege were playing the San Jose Spiders. My friend, who I convinced to go (by picking him up and paying for his ticket), commented on how cool their logo looked: a spider clutching a basketball. I thought a better logo would be a basketball net, with a spider using that as a web. The Siege logo has what looks like a Viking with a sword.

We were surprised at what we saw -- Great basketball. Fundamentally sound basketball. Three pointers that were nothing but net, nice give-and-goes, no forced shots underneath. And for people that complain that women don't score enough, it ended up being 72 - 101. This made the Siege were the first team in over a year to break the 100 mark.

They had some interesting players. Natalie Nakase, the shortest in the league, was 5'2" and could handle the ball like Bob Cousy and Magic Johnson rolled into one. And she was quick. She's also the first female Asian-American to play professional basketball.

There was Jessica Cheeks, the niece of NBA Hall of Famer Maurice, the current coach of the 76ers. A lesbian couple in the crowd couldn't stop yelling her name. She'd turn around and smile, with huge dimples, and the couple went nuts.

Two of the players had local roots. Jessica Mercado played at Point Loma Nazarene. Latricia Price played at SDSU. What's amazing about Price is she's 32 years old and has five kids. The big story in the WNBA right now is how New York Liberty star Lisa Leslie is going to be out for the season to have a baby.

Four of the team's players played in the WNBA; two played together for the Liberty.

Coach Fred Williams had been a WNBA coach, an NBA scout, and had coached a college championship team that had Cheryl Miller. He finally agreed to my challenge. I would be playing against professional ballers.

I showed up at their practice at 10 a.m. They were already an hour into running drills. I was having horrible flashbacks from my high school days of suicides and laps. At least I'd be facing them while they were tired. I haven't played in years and am out of shape.

While watching them from the top of the bleachers, I met guard Abby Scharlow's father. He came to town from Wisconsin to watch his daughter play a few games. He told me she got a degree in business, but she wanted to play pro ball. She played professionally in Greece and I said, "That's like a nice paid vacation." He said she hated it.

"They weren't very nice to Americans there. And at games, the coaches sat on the bench smoking." He talked about them playing games in Paris, Amsterdam, and a strange story about Russia. He said they were supposed to fly there, but they didn't trust the rickety plane because it was a harsh Russian winter. They ended up canceling. He also told me that three WNBA scouts would be at the teams next game.

The practice ended and the GM brought me down to the court. He told the girls what was going on. None of them seem thrilled. I can't say I blame them. They just had a two hour practice, and now they are being asked to play with a reporter. Three of the teams starters were going to play, and one of them was Jessica Cheeks, who looked so sweet and nice. But on the court, that sweet face did a lot of trash talking.

It didn't help that I was covering Cathrine Kraayveveld, a former WNBA player who was three inches taller then me at 6'4". She shot a three pointer over me immediately. Cheeks started talking about me being schooled. For some odd reason, I liked it. It got the competitive juices flowing. They took the ball in again, and Cathrine made another 3-pointer. I asked one of my teammates if I should play her tougher. The reply, "That's like a lay-up for her." The next play, she decided to take me underneath the basket. She posted up on me, caught the pass, pivoted around and scored.

I am being schooled.

Finally, our team gets the ball. The pass comes to me. I try to drive past Cathrine, but she stays with me. I wonder why the bandages wrapped around her knee didn't seem to slow her. I see someone cutting to the basket, throw a bounce pass, and we score. Now I'm feeling good. Our team is on the scoreboard and I got an assist. But I wanted to score. I cut around a defender, pop out about 25 feet outside. A crisp pass comes my way. I quickly turn and start to shoot. Cathrine runs at me. All I can think is that she has a height advantage, and getting a shot blocked is the most humilating thing that can happen in basketball. As I square up for my shot, my knees bending slightly, she's getting closer and closer. I see her eyes widen like a fat kid eyeing a cupcake. I don't want the word "Spalding" embossed on my forehead, so I release my shot a lot quicker then I wanted. Air ball. Then I realized, there is something more humiliating then having a shot blocked. Airballs shouldn't happen after the age of 12. Jessica Cheeks laughs, and makes fun of me.

Now, I figure these women think I can't play. I also tell myself I won't shoot again. The game continues and I make a few more good passes. One was around my back, which impressed a few of the girls (it didn't impress my high school coach, who made me run laps after hot dogging with a pass like that).

Now that I had regained some confidence, I decided to shoot again. I got a pass near the free throw line. I faked a drive, stepped back, and shot a fall away jumper. It went in. The players acted all excited, as if I've never scored. By the time I made my third shot, their cheers felt condescending. I then realized this is the same thing we did when we played with girls in pick-up games. It sucked being on the other end.

When Cheeks got the ball and was dribbling, she talked a little smack. I went over and tried to steal the ball from her. I knocked it away, but she quickly recovered it. She laughed, and as I stared at her doo-rag, it occurred to me that every time I've seen an athlete with one on their head, they do the most trash talking. But as the saying goes, she could walk the walk and talk the talk. She made passes that I never saw coming. I felt like a Washington General covering a Harlem Globetrotter.

When we got the ball back, I was able to beat two players and take the ball baseline. It ended up rolling off the rim. I didn't feel bad because it was a nice move, and at least it was a finger roll (older white players are often known for doing layups that don't roll off the fingers).

I had another lay-up, with Cathrine on me tight, where I went underhanded. When it rolled in, Cheeks said "You're going old school."

Luckily, I only missed a few shots in the three games we played. I was dripping sweat and on the verge of having a heart attack. And I could tell they weren't going 100%. But I don't need to remind myself of that. On my mental stat sheet, I got a few rebounds, some assists, and shot 75% against professional basketball players.

As I went to talk to the team, my shirt felt like a wet sponge that needed to be wrung out. Barely comprehensible, I wheezed my first few questions.

First I spoke with Jessica Cheeks. I asked how much coaching her famous uncle gives her. She said, "Zero." I find out her entire family played basketball, not just her uncle. I asked if she liked watching him play and she said, "I was too little. I was an infant." She told me he's been too busy to see her play for the Siege. She added, "I'd like to get to the WNBA. That's the dream of most of the players here. At least the starters." I asked her what she wants to do when her playing days are over and she says, "Work in child care."

I spoke with Tynesha Lewis, who also played basketball in other countries. She said, "I played in Israel, Poland, France, Italy, and in Korea, where it's like a whole other planet. Basketball is so much bigger there." She told me some women players are like icons over there, with posters of them everywhere. I asked if her experience was like Abby's. Lewis says, "Oh, we're hated. We are not liked in other countries, that's universal. When I went overseas to play, I made sure I was very respectful. I'm representing the United States. They think we're lazy and everything is given to us."

Osato Edobor-Osula, 6'5", is the tallest on the team. She's only been playing for eight years, beginning at the age of 16. She said, "I was a sophomore in high school and running track. I had a growth spurt and everyone said I should play. People see my height and they sometimes expect so much more out of me. They don't realize I haven't been playing that long. I try to work hard and I'm dedicated. It helps that I have a good support group, and I thank the coach. He saw something in me that others didn't."

From the teams tallest player to the shortest, I talked to Natalie Nakase, who was a star at UCLA. Since they had such a rich basketball history, including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar followed the next year by local Bill Walton. I asked her about the Bruins legacy. She said, "Well, that's the mens program. We did have a few times where John Wooden spoke with us." I asked her if she really thought she had a shot at the WNBA and she replied, "The shortest players in the league are 5'4" and 5'3". I'm just an inch shorter. But when I go out there, I feel I have to be the best one on the court." I asked if her height and being female, caused problems when she played with guys. She laughed and said, "They were usually fine. Once you score a few points, they see you can play."

I finally talk to Coach Williams. As a basketball fan, I tell him I always thought being an NBA scout would be the coolest job on the planet. I asked him about scouting and he said, "I really enjoyed the scouting more than the coaching. Why? You get to see the game before it happens. I really enjoy scouting the opponents and putting a game plan together for a team."

Williams ended up being named Coach of the Year. And Cathrine, who I couldn't handle in our game, won Rookie of the Year. And in the team's first season, they made it all the way to the championship, losing 78 - 71 to the defending champs, the Colorado Chill. It's unfortunate that they won't have a second season in San Diego.