KISS, Scrabble, and Competitive People
I once blogged about a guy I played racquetball with. He was so competitive, it made it unenjoyable. I really don't understand that competitive thing. Sure, everyone loves to win. And I hate to use some old coach cliche, but …
No One Here Gets Out Alive -- Morrison's dad passes away
Jim Morrisons dad died the other day. Being a huge Doors fan, I remember when a friend of a friend was going to be doing their cabinets at the home they owned in Coronado. He told me when he went …
The Worst Blog Ever -- Thanksgiving Edition
I'm sitting at the computer with my pants unbuttoned. Oh no, not for the reason you think. I just ate so much turkey, stuffing, potatoes and other crap, that I'm about to explode. Even though it's hours after the fact, …
Don't Tase Me, Bro!
I was a little kid when my stepdad told a story about being in bootcamp, and everyone getting maced in the face. I believe he said something about them wanting you to know what it felt like. Or maybe it …
Comedy Writers and Insane Siblings
My brother is insane. I don't mean that in a humorous way. He is literally, not right in the head. That doesn't mean he does crazy stuff. He just isn't good at analyzing situations. He'll beat a few of his …
Chargers Blood Drive
I've given over 13 gallons of blood. Not all at once. I tried that one time and got real dizzy. The only time I went to the Chargers Blood Drive in Hotel Circle, it was a cluster ****. Parking was …
Quarterbacks in the NFL -- one helps homeless, one has dog fights
I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I hate their owner. I hate Owens. I do like their cheerleaders. And I like Tony Romo. Aside from his style of play, in interviews, he just always seems to handle himself really well. When …
An unHAPPY MEAL
So, there's a story in the AP about a couple in Fayetteville, Arkansas, that is suing McDonald's. Do you think they spilled hot coffee on their lap? Good guess, but no. It did have something to do with their laps, …
A San Diego Sinner in Dear Abby
Somebody sent Dear Abby a letter the other day, calling themselves the "San Diego Sinner." It was a teenager girl that wore thong underwear. Her and her sister are now called "sinners" by their mom. She said it's what all …
A Teacher in the Hizzy
For the folks over the age of 40, "hizzy" isn't one of the lost lyrics from the song "Dizzy Miss Lizzy". It's rap slang, and it refers to where you live, or where you are. *Instead of saying "Are any …
Beyonce & Yusuf in the House
I'm super tired, and not sure what to blog about. Conan O'Brien is wrapping up. And I can usually watch the rerun of The Colbert Report before logging onto the computer, and throwing a blog up here. During a commercial …
Chargers Steel Gamblers Money
Well, I did what you should do when you're in Hawaii. I went into the Red Lion to watch the Chargers give away another game to the Steelers. It was the third place I had been to where I got …
A Migraine in Maui
I met with my family at this restaurant called Top of Waikiki. I think that's the name. All I kept thinking was about how on The Larry Sanders Show (dang...HBO has done a lot of great shows, haven't they? Anyone …
ACLU Strikes Again -- Fallbrook High Gets Tomahawk Chopped
So I went to buy a newspaper outside this restaurant in Waikiki. The band playing on the second level patio, was doing a version of "Lay Down Sally" with eukeles. It was bizarre, looking up and seeing three customers getting …
In Hawaii on Vacation
I've never been that into traveling. I don't know why that is. When I was 21, I went to England. I did some stories there for some BBC radio stations, which was cool. I met a woman that was producing …
100 Best Singers, 1 Great Drummer
A few music things... First, I was bummed to see in the paper, that Mitch Mitchell of the Jimi Hendrix Experience, died in a hotel. He was 61. And, he really smoked on some of the best Hendrix tunes (listen …
Black Coffee, The Bee Gees, and Idiotic Clerks
I was having lunch with a friend of mine last week, and we noticed some military guys nearby. I said, "If I was rich, I'd pick up the tab whenever I saw military guys in a restaurant. It would just …
Obituary Ogling -- News of my death has been greatly exaggerated
I guess the Mark Twain quoted doesn't fit the theme of this blog. I just always got a kick out of it. Nowdays, we can Google everything. So if we hear about a celebrity dying and aren't sure, we'll go …
Bad Information From Critics (this means you, Roger Ebert)
I'm glad my sister is normal now. You see, there was a time she wasn't. She had gone away to college, and she'd return for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and you couldn't talk to her. She'd be involved in whatever silly …
Cinema Valore - Concession Confessions
I hope Ken doesn't kill me for saying this...but when we filmed this segment, he had the director throw him a box of candy. It was laying around left over from Halloween. And, she threw it about four or five …
Sports Shortz -- The Ryan Leaf Edition
Well, there was one of those sports stories that happened that gets news directors everywhere all excited. And, it's the kind of story that hardcore sports fans usually cringe at. An old person breaking a record. You see, sports fans …
Samuel Jackson on Jury Duty
I got home from some late night racquetball just in time to catch Samuel L. Jackson on Jimmy Kimmel Live. This reminded me of the time I worked at the post office, and told this woman she looked like him. …
Snickering at Proposition 8
I always seem to get myself involved in these projects for gifts I'm putting together. When my friend Bonnie and I had this weird argument about mustard, I saw a shirt that said "I put ketchup on my ketchup." I …
I Vote...For Death By Chocolate!
I figured there was enough on the election, that I didn't want to blog on it. I figured I'd compromise and tell a story about my lunch on election day. My buddy and I go into Bennigan's...home of the best …
Officers Describe Perp...He's 10-feet, big round ears...
It's weird...a few weeks back I was watching football with friends, and we had all kinds of debates on politics and on the current campaigns. Last Sunday, watching football with friends, and hanging out with other people, nobody was talking …
Oscar Nominations for Comedic Films
When people talk about their favorite movies, you get a wild selection. Obviously, people have a genre they love. My stepbrother would have a top 10 list that is all sci-fi. It's strange when you talk about the best comedies …
Does Ralphie Want a Red Ryder BB Gun or an Uzi?
I remember reading this story a little while back. In this mornings paper, I saw it again. An 8-year-old in Boston accidentally shot himself to death with an Uzi. His father, who probably won't be up for Dad of the …
How Do You Like Them Apples? (not a blog about Gwyneth's kid...)
I got behind on the newspapers, and was reading one from a few days ago. The Dear Abby letter was basically: My middle-aged neighbor brought over a bushel of apples from his tree. He told me he didn't want them …