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I'm Not a Missionary Man

Religious people keep knocking on my door. And they aren't selling thin mints.

I'm sitting in my underwear at the computer. No, I'm not looking at porn. I just woke up, and haven't taken a shower yet.

And, there's a knock on my door. I look thru the peep hole and see two guys with suits, and a briefcase. I'm assuming they aren't here to serve me papers. I'm guessing, they are here to talk to me about religion.

At least twice a week, people knock on my door to do this. Now, when I first had an apartment on my own, I was getting so annoyed with that, I once told an older lady "I don't think it's right to come to someones door to speak about religion. I might be religious, I might not be. But, I certainly don't wish to discuss my feelings with a complete stranger." As she started to say something, I slammed the door in her face. That's the type of stuff 20-year-olds do, and don't think twice about.

Now in my 30s, I just don't answer the door. But, I'm getting to the point where, I want to answer the door. In my underwear. And see how they handle that. Maybe they'll splash some holy water on me. Maybe I'll hear them break into some Latin.

People tell me, "Don't be mad at them. That's what their religion requires." So what! Why does this afford them courtesy? So many telemarketers get yelled at when they call people during dinner. And, I'm always polite to them. I let them say their pitch. I tell them I'm not interested, in a nice voice. I thank them. And, most times, they thank me or apologize for the inconvenience. If they keep talking, or say something stupid like "How could you not be interested in saving $10,000?" I tell them, "Sorry, I've got people over and can't talk right now." Then I hang up. No more discussion. Not another five minutes of them trying to pitch me on some timeshare in Duluth.

I remember as a kid, my parents had a sign that said "No Solicitors". I think they should make signs that say "No Missionaries."

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I'm sitting in my underwear at the computer. No, I'm not looking at porn. I just woke up, and haven't taken a shower yet.

And, there's a knock on my door. I look thru the peep hole and see two guys with suits, and a briefcase. I'm assuming they aren't here to serve me papers. I'm guessing, they are here to talk to me about religion.

At least twice a week, people knock on my door to do this. Now, when I first had an apartment on my own, I was getting so annoyed with that, I once told an older lady "I don't think it's right to come to someones door to speak about religion. I might be religious, I might not be. But, I certainly don't wish to discuss my feelings with a complete stranger." As she started to say something, I slammed the door in her face. That's the type of stuff 20-year-olds do, and don't think twice about.

Now in my 30s, I just don't answer the door. But, I'm getting to the point where, I want to answer the door. In my underwear. And see how they handle that. Maybe they'll splash some holy water on me. Maybe I'll hear them break into some Latin.

People tell me, "Don't be mad at them. That's what their religion requires." So what! Why does this afford them courtesy? So many telemarketers get yelled at when they call people during dinner. And, I'm always polite to them. I let them say their pitch. I tell them I'm not interested, in a nice voice. I thank them. And, most times, they thank me or apologize for the inconvenience. If they keep talking, or say something stupid like "How could you not be interested in saving $10,000?" I tell them, "Sorry, I've got people over and can't talk right now." Then I hang up. No more discussion. Not another five minutes of them trying to pitch me on some timeshare in Duluth.

I remember as a kid, my parents had a sign that said "No Solicitors". I think they should make signs that say "No Missionaries."

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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