Last of the Mohawk
Craziness in some elementary schools.
Someone forwarded me a bunch of stories they saw online, about things happening at schools. One had a substitute teacher searching kids for $5 in an envelope that was stolen from her desk. Apparently, you can't search kids. A few …
Shark Sandwich
A shark attack off of Florida.
A few days ago I heard a guy died from a shark bite. I felt bad, until I heard he was scuba diving, where they threw bloody fish out in the water to attract the sharks, so he could get …
Oscar Gripes
Whoopi Goldberg gets snubbed by the Oscars. But when you win one for playing a sassy black lady in Ghost, can you really hold a grudge?
I thought it was odd that all this talk was about Whoopi Goldberg being upset that she was "snubbed" when the Oscars showed a lot of previous hosts, but not her (for those wondering...she hosted in 94, 96, 99, and …
Bad Customer Service
A bakery, restaurant, and Blockbuster video...that don't have a clue.
I went to a club to see a band. And, yeah, it was packed. I give waitresses more room to make mistakes. But then, on weekends, they should have more staff to cover that, too. Our waitress never brought us …
And the Oscar Goes To....
A quick summary of the Oscars.
I was really happy with how the Oscars went down last night. First...I loved the fact that there were only a few political jokes, by host Jon Stewart. And, they didn't favor any one side. Nothing I hate worse than …
Shhhhh!!!
Magazine and greeting card pet peeves.
I was in a Border's the other day looking at magazines. I noticed that a bunch were put in the wrong places. And, it's stuff like this, that makes me realize how pathetic the human race is. Seriously. Every day, …
The Peterson Case
Evidence today, says that the previous wife was murdered.
Being a Democrat can be tough sometimes. My Republican friends want to argue stuff with me. And, my Democrat friends are way to liberal for my tastes. When I talk about crime, and how I love the three strikes law, …
Jenny Jenny Who Can I Turn To?
My attempted interview with Kirstie Alley, and her bailing on Jenny Craig.
Actress Kirstie Alley made the news yesterday, when she split from Jenny Craig. I caught the news, when they said a spokesman for Craig said they parted ways. I yelled at the TV, "Her way, is to the buffet, I …
Smoking a J in the Unemployment Line
An interesting email I received.
I got this email the other day. It's probably one of those things that you get, and then all your friends send it to you a few weeks later. Those email jokes or stories that never die. It was all …
Bitten by the Bug, err..Boa
A famous parent, that doesn't seem to be on the right path.
People talk about famous bad parents. And, it's always the usual Michael Jackson, covering up his kids heads and dangling them out the window. Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears mom. And now, them, as parents. The list goes on and …
Mistaken Identify
A woman steals stamps and does hard time.
I got into an argument with a few of my friends the other day. That's nothing new. There was a story on the news about a woman that had been jailed for seven years for a bank robbery. Problem was, …
I Love Paris in the...Winter
Some Paris Hilton talk is always fun.
So, Paris Hiltons brother Barron gets arrested for a DUI. And, it's his second one. Why not just take his drivers license away forever? Seriously. If you get a second DUI, you shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel ever again. …
High School Prank
A high school football player fools everyone.
With all this talk about Roger Clemens lying about taking steroids...another athlete did a little bit of lying. On a much smaller scale. Well, maybe saying "smaller scale" is the wrong choice of words, since the dude weighs almost 300 …
Valentine's & Cops
Operator Petal Pusher was done by the San Marcos Sheriffs Department.
So, in San Marcos, the Sheriffs were issuing citations for vendors selling roses and other flowers on the street corners. They were calling it "Operation Petal Pusher." Now, this is where I turn into one of those people I hate …
Marriage? What you talkin' about, Willis?
Gary Coleman ties the knot. And might want to tie something around his knew brides neck.
So, Valentine's Day passed; lots of stories about the different weddings. The one I found most fascinating was Different Strokes star Gary Coleman. I had heard him years ago on Howard Stern, admit that he hasn't been intimate with a …
Who Has VD Fever?
Do people celebrate, or complain, about Valentine's Day?
I guess referring to Valentine's Day as "VD Fever" sounds like something from Ted Nugent's 3rd solo album. But I remember talking to an old childhood friend last year that said a guy showed up at her house with a …
Chuck Norris and the Lottery
A sex offender wins the lottery.
I didn't see the whole story, but on the news yesterday, they had a guy that won $10 million in the lottery somewhere back east, I believe. The picture of him that they showed on TV, looked like a sad …
Drip Dry
Bathrooms getting sensors on everything.
I eat out every night. And, I could probably blog complains about restaurants daily. But, in their defense, there's also a lot I enjoy about restaurants (mainly, I ain't doin' any cooking). But one thing that is becoming more common, …
Scarlett Johanssen Called Me
An actress left a three minute message on my machine.
The other day I blogged, and briefly talked about how I handled telemarketers. Well, during the recent elections, I'd often get calls from politicians. I'd come home, and my machine would tell me I had four messages. I'd feel popular, …
I'm Not a Missionary Man
Religious people keep knocking on my door. And they aren't selling thin mints.
I'm sitting in my underwear at the computer. No, I'm not looking at porn. I just woke up, and haven't taken a shower yet. And, there's a knock on my door. I look thru the peep hole and see two …
Hannah Montana vs. Joe Montana
The teen sensation, against one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play.
Well, with Tom Brady losing a Super Bowl that he was heavily favored to win, the sports shows are all talking about where he ranks in the list of great QBs. People like to argue that he has an amazing …
Ferris Bueller You're My Hero
Why is Mathew Broderick alive, and Heath Ledger dead?
I got a call from someone that said CityBeat had a column that was stolen from one of my blogs. I went and checked it out, and I don't think that's what happened. I had done a blog about some …
Mr. Cab Driver
A few dumb criminals in the news.
I often run into people that say "Oh, you work for the Reader? You know what my favorite section is?" As I ask them what, with my fingers crossed that they'll say it's something I've written, they say "That News …
No Habla English
Voting, and all the languages in which you can do that.
I don't want to sound like one of those redneck racists that goes on a rant. But, I found this all so bizarre. I go to vote yesterday. And, I see they have forms in four different languages. There's Tagalog, …
Super Bowl Commercials
Listening to all the annoying Super Bowl talk.
I guess it's just me, but I love the hours and hours of pre-game Super Bowl talk. I like hearing football experts dissect the game, whether I agree with them or not. What I hate, is after the game, listening …
Gumball Rally II
As a kid, my friends dad bought an ice cream truck. We were in heaven.
Since I talked about finding broken gumball machines as a kid in yesterdays blog, I thought I would write about the time my friend Mike Garrido (yes, we called him Garrido the Burrito), came into class and said "You have …
Gumball Rally
An accident with a Coke truck, brings back childhood memories of a gumball machine mishap.
I love reading the sports pages, but something I hate is all the predictable stories. Do I need to continuously read about Eli Manning, and how his brother is Peyton and his dad is Archie? We know this already. That's …
Accidents Happen
When accidents happen, are the bad drivers cited?
I saw on the news that a biker died after a driver made an illegal U-turn into his path. Often times, when this happens, no charges are filed. Unless the person was going over 100 mph, the authorities just feel …