Damn That Traffic Jam
Traffic in San Diego.
I've been hearing people say traffic in San Diego is going to be like Los Angeles very soon. I think it's already there. I heard an idiot on the radio a few months back, who is writing a book on …
Jim Gaffigan - Best Comedian Working Today
Seeing comedian Jim Gaffigan in Palm Springs.
I tried fitting a lot into my day. I went to Palm Springs to see Jim Gaffigan. I missed him the last few times he was in town. I stayed the night there, and can't for the life of me, …
Brandy, You're a Fine, uh, Driver.
Brandy can sing, but she can't drive. And, Hanna Montana brings out the best, and worst, in families.
When my boss first asked me to do a blog each day, I wondered if I'd be able to come up with enough topics. But, there's always stuff to gripe about. And, there are other times where I hang up …
Fast Food Commercials
The latest Burger King commercials, and other fast food spots.
I don't know why fast food commercials can't be as cool as beer commercials. Oh sure, there have been a few gems (where's the beef, anyone?) But lately, I'm seeing a Wendy's spot with a stupid red-haired wig. I see …
Old People Behind the Wheel
Why old people should have their license revoked.
For the first time in history, an astronaut was out in space, and had to mourn the loss of a family member. His 90-year-old mother was driving, and hit a train. I'm not sure how. But then, I'm not sure …
And Now You Don't Know the Rest of the Story
The tiger attack, and a U.S. soccer goalie, and how the stories left me confused.
I hate when I don't get the entire story from the news. Today, I wake up and hear about a Tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo. I hear them say that three guys may have been taunting the tiger. …
Christmas Song Gripes
What radio stations play on Christmas.
Okay...I don't mind Christmas lights everywhere. In fact, I dig that. I love the pot lucks and food people make. The desserts especially. I think it's fun watching A Christmas Story for 24 hours straight (well, I don't sit there …
My Bloody Santa Claus
The story of a guy that has a bloody Santa on a cross in his front yard.
I was watching CNN this morning. And I saw this house that had all these Christmas lights. A lot more than normal. Oh, and they had a huge cross in their front yard, with a giant Santa nailed to it. …
What Happened to Poker?
Why doesn't anyone play the old poker games we grew up with?
It used to be so much fun. You'd gather around with your friends. One guy would always play Baseball (3's and 9's wild, and a 4 got you another card). Someone else would call "7 Card No Peakie" and someone …
Juno and Hot Rod
It sounds like two porno stars, but it's the name of two comedies that I found to be overrated.
My friend bought a movie called Hot Rod. He told me it was hysterical, and let me borrow the DVD. I got 30 minutes into it. And having laughed once or twice, I didn't feel it was worth any more …
My Thursday
From shaving to shopping, what I did today.
Thursday is always the busiest day of the week for me. I'm not sure why. When I used to write bar reviews for the Reader, the clubs would be packed on Thursday nights, because a lot of college students told …
Poor Parenting
Jamie Lynn Spears and getting lost looking for a Christmas tree.
So, the parent that you hear made fun of right now is Britney Spears mom. That's because, her second daughter, Jamie Lynn, is pregnant at age 16. And, we already know about the job she did with Britney. Jamie, though, …
Cops in the News
A few police shootings, and my take on them.
I woke up the other day, turned on CNN as I ate some Frosted Flakes. I saw that Dan Folgeberg died. I was never a fan of his music, but it's always sad when someone dies in their 50s. Especially …
Tennis (balls) Anyone?
A weird experiment that shot tennis balls at a guy.
I never have a problem sleeping. My two older brothers often have bouts of insomnia. But the other night, I was tossing and turning, so I turned on the TV. There was some show called something like "Science of Sports" …
Bathroom Attendants
A day of football...and dealing with bathroom attendants.
So, I get to enjoy football on Sunday, watching the Chargers score over 50 points. Something everyone thought they were capable of doing before the season started. I got to Seau's (the restaurant, not the clothing store, the football camp, …
Lies -- and the fat man in the red suit that tells them.
What I believe, you should say to kids...from drugs to Santa.
I remember as a teenager, dating a girl briefly, who said when she has kids, she'll never let them believe in Santa Clause. She said, "That's lying to your children, and I believe that's wrong." We had a 3-day fight …
Rock Hall of Fame
Madonna made it. And guess who didn't?
I'm not the biggest Madonna fan, but I have no problem with her making the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. She's touched on a number of genres of music, and she's had a bunch of hits, was influential (during …
Extra! Extra!
Newspaper headlines that can be humorous.
I got home and checked my emails, and fellow Reader writer Jay Sanford sent me a bizarre headline about Ike Turner's death. It said "Ike beats Tina to Death." That made me think...why do newspapers sometimes do funny headlines, and …
Neighbor Noise
What can be done when you have loud neighbors?
I can't tell you the amount of parties I've been to, where neighbors call the cops because of the noise. And you can't blame them. Sometimes a band is playing in the backyard. Othertimes, it's the stereo blasting. Or, it …
TV's Sexiest Women
The Top 10 list. Do you agree?
For weeks, I've heard morning shows talk about this list. I'm not sure who put it out. I saw it on AOL. It was the "sexiest women" in TV history. I thought I'd print it, and then discuss it. Here's …
Sick of Vick
Michael Vick gets 23 months for his dog fighting ring.
I watched as former Charger quarterback Drew Brees tore up the Atlanta Falcons. But, it was quarterback Michael Vick that probably did more damage to the team. Since his arrest, he hasn't been QBing the team. And, that was one …
Da Bomb
Fake bomb threats, and why we should ignore them.
When the Virginia Tech shooting happened, I was dating a woman whose mom is a psychiatrist. I asked her about the kid that did the shooting, and whether or not he should've been kicked out of the school when it …
Logic of the Moronic
So, I saw this story in the newspaper, and I couldn't decide what was funnier. The name of the basketball coach (sorry...it's the Beavis & Butthead in me). Or, the logic of the moronic basketball player. It ranks up there …
Making Fun of Parents
My stepdad loves actor Steve Guttenberg.
Obviously, making fun of your brothers and sisters isn't a big deal. But at what point is it cool to make fun of your dad? My stepdad never seems cool with it. Yet, I always seem to bust his chops. …
Check Please
Why do customers in restaurants ask for separate bills?
It's almost 3:00 a.m. I'm gonna go to sleep soon, and don't want to write a big drawn out thing. I just want to say this. I was at a restaurant tonight. I eat out most nights, since I don't …
Celebrities Privacy
From Jennifer Love Hewitt on the beach, to Julia Roberts at a school.
I was once at a movie screening, for the first film Mel Gibson directed (I'm glad he didn't know my moms side of the family is Jewish). And, someone was bugging him with questions about Lethal Weapon II as he …
Charger Fans are Idiots
My take on Shawn Merriman...and even the late Ken Caminiti.
Okay, that's a weird title. I mean, I'm a Charger fan. And, there are lots of idiots in the world. Hell, I just read about a guy that shot one of those traffic light cameras and got arrested for it. …
Cuts Like a Knife
Cutting off arms with a pocket knife. Oh...and widdling wood.
Has anyone seen this guy on the news that got his arm caught in a tractor and cut if off with a pocket knife when it caught fire? Before him, there was a guy rock climbing a few years back …
Everything Gives you Cancer
Reading this blog won't give you cancer; unless you're reading it on a break from work. And it's 3:00 a.m.
I've spent most of this football season watching games with the coolest chick on the planet, as oppose to my usual goof ball football friends. This woman knows sports, has a great sense of humor, and best of all...when we …
Cops in the News
Cops in the news, and idiots like Al Sharpton.
I heard a story about a cop the other day, somewhere in San Diego, that injured a kids eye when he pulled him over. He didn't pull over immediately. He drove home, and was taken out of his vehicle in …
Evel Ways
The death of daredevil Evel Knievel, and his lawsuit with Kanye West.
Two things surprised me when I was watching the news and saw Evel Knievel died. The first, was that he was still alive. I thought he died years ago, trying to jump over the Grand Canyon or something. The second, …