Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Bruck you, Masked Man! 4 cures for the common Lone Ranger

Were Matthew not brave enough to take two-and-a-half hours away from his lovely, remarkable family (and Wonder Dog, Oreo), The Lone Ranger would never have been reviewed in these pages. Two thoughts crossed my mind during the screening of the second, fecund Pirates of the Caribbean picture: either walk out or set fire to the screen. To avoid a fate worse than the one on screen, I wisely took it on the arches.

Does anyone really care about a Lone Ranger reboot? I never enjoyed the TV show; give me George Reeves and The Adventure of Superman, not some stale shoot-em-up with wooden acting. The funniest thing to emerge from the franchise came in 1979 when the owner of the Ranger character, Jack Wrather, sued actor Clayton Moore, prohibiting him from picking up cigarette money on the side while dressed in the costume. Moore went on every news outlet in the land blubbering about how the estate took his mask away.

Matthew hated it. Let the new Ranger alone. For those in need of a masked fix, here are four antidotes bound to repel the common remake.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hwj9ejJQrw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWGO3ePMcMg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5vHYpjaUko

Be sure to turn off the color for the following cartoon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3jzfoZ1O5k

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

The vicious cycle of Escondido's abandoned buildings

City staff blames owners for raising rents

Were Matthew not brave enough to take two-and-a-half hours away from his lovely, remarkable family (and Wonder Dog, Oreo), The Lone Ranger would never have been reviewed in these pages. Two thoughts crossed my mind during the screening of the second, fecund Pirates of the Caribbean picture: either walk out or set fire to the screen. To avoid a fate worse than the one on screen, I wisely took it on the arches.

Does anyone really care about a Lone Ranger reboot? I never enjoyed the TV show; give me George Reeves and The Adventure of Superman, not some stale shoot-em-up with wooden acting. The funniest thing to emerge from the franchise came in 1979 when the owner of the Ranger character, Jack Wrather, sued actor Clayton Moore, prohibiting him from picking up cigarette money on the side while dressed in the costume. Moore went on every news outlet in the land blubbering about how the estate took his mask away.

Matthew hated it. Let the new Ranger alone. For those in need of a masked fix, here are four antidotes bound to repel the common remake.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hwj9ejJQrw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWGO3ePMcMg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5vHYpjaUko

Be sure to turn off the color for the following cartoon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3jzfoZ1O5k

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Free movies of the week: Rocky edition.

Next Article

Tough Guys vs. Stand-Up Guys: compare and contrast.

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader