'Oscar-winning director' isn't bad enough. Now he's 'President Spielberg!'

10.) They'll save money on electricity by illuminating the Palais des Festivals et des Congrès with high beam flashlights. 9.) John Williams would only agree to score the show if Spielberg was involved. 8.) He'll borrow buddy Bob Zemeckis' equipment …

The blog has been a bit Groucho-heavy of late, but while researching Sunday night's Live Oscar Blog, I stumbled across a handful of material that is new to The Big Screen. Consider a moratorium on Groucho posts now in effect. …

Ladies and gentlemen, the Mark Episode IV: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/28/40884/ Ha ha no seriously: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/28/40885/ Um, careful, Tony - that fist you're making is looking pretty exposed. Maybe think about punching with the armored hand, even if it does mean breaking your …

Kenneth Sewell is the author of Red Star Rogue: The Untold Story of a Soviet Submarine's Nuclear Strike Attempt on the U.S., the book that served as the inspiration for Phantom, which opens Friday. He also served as technical advisor …

There is no such thing as a bad genre

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40831/ There was a time in my life, several years before Jackie Chan forced me to rethink my stance, where you couldn't pay me to watch a karate movie. I had stumbled into a few simply to see what all …

Last one, I promise, but it's about time we had a serious discussion about nudity in film, right, Seth Rogen? So, Penelope Cruz - Seth mentioned you in his song about boobs. How do you feel about the nudity? http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40814/ …

Seth MacFarlane's "We Saw Your Boobs" song has generated rather a good deal of uproar since he sang it during his Oscars opening bit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TWLKP8j0zk Now, some of those boobs finally get to respond. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40805/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40806/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40807/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40809/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40810/

My 10 minutes in the ring with The Champ

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/27/40801/ So give him a stage where this bull here can rage. Mike Tyson is coming to town. The legendary boxer brings his one man show, Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth, to San Diego’s Balboa Theatre for one night only on …

Filmmaker Charles Shaw addresses the difficult reality behind deportation, homelessness, and drug abuse.

If you’ve ever crossed the pedestrian bridge over the Tijuana River canal, you’ve no doubt seen dozens of people living among its garbage-strewn banks in makeshift ñongos – ramshackle structures built from trash and river detritus. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/26/40773/ Some may have …

You don't believe me? It says so in this cartoon. You bet your Captain Roscoe! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/26/40767/

A modern day Joe Barbera riding herd over a three-and-a-half hour orgy of inanimate self-veneration

Last year it was Minny's pie. This year it's Life of Pi. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/25/40652/ We were forced to do business with Seth MacFarlane. I don't like his kind of TV people. I don't like to see him come on this clean …

At least as far as Best Picture is concerned.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that what last year's Best Picture, The Artist, has in common with this year's best picture, Argo, is that they both start with A, and Academy voters are so damn rigid that they …

Here we go again. Powered by Blyve

Bless Me, Ultima is the film version of the novel by Richard Anaya, and it tells the story of Antonio, a Chicano boy in 1940s New Mexico who must contend with many influences as he seeks to make sense of …

No, seriously! This one's character-driven! Maybe it's the sun shining down after a wet and chilly week. Maybe it's the end of flu season. But something's in the air - Scott enjoyed not one, but two movies that he was …

Haven't seen this one yet, but there are some genuine chills in the trailer. Children who don't come home for family gatherings because they're playing video games with their friends. Is it at all surprising that the trouble starts here? …

It's better than anything Tommy Wirkola had to show us

For 420 eyes only. After hearing the title I asked, “Did Harvey Weinstein go stark raving mad and produce an animated children's comedy about the Holocaust?” Technically, it's not a cartoon, but there is a yellowed German passport with a …

The New Yorker's Richard Brody says yes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ438Fy_PYg I'm not sure if Scott would agree, but I thought I'd toss it out there for him.

Will it be Lincoln or Argo? Hunt or Field? Zeitlin or Lee? Phoenix or Washington? France or Dick? Who cares? We'll goof on all of them and more during The Big Screen's annual Live Oscar Blog! I've already submitted my …

Teamwork!

Remember this lovely bit from the 2010 Oscars? Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. doing a back-and-forth about writers and actors? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw1BHrQ_7T4 Robert Downey Jr.: "It's a collaboration. A collaboration between handsome, gifted people and sickly little mole people." Tina …

A pair of socks from Holman and Grimm

Lickona told me to expect a gift from Reader publisher, Jim Holman, and features editor, Ernie Grimm. While putting in a rare personal appearance at the office, Matthew overheard Jim tell Ernie, "Well, that wraps it up for Marks." Paranoia …

The 02/22/13-02/28/13 edition of Gaslamp Programming Chart, my favorite weekly email, just arrived and with it news of 10pm only screenings this Friday and Saturday night of a new cinematic sensation. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/20/40468/ Hansel and Gretel Get Baked? Did Harvey Weinstein …

He's movin' on up!

Shpilberg may take home another Oscar for Lincoln, but Marty is the first director to take home a Jefferson. The National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) has asked Him to deliver the 2013 Jefferson Lecture in the Humanities. Here's hoping …

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40399/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40394/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40395/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40396/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40397/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40401/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40402/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40403/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40404/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/19/40405/

Audiences refuse to swallow "Beautiful Creatures" 'caster' oil

Beautiful Creatures didn't crack this weekend's top five at the box office. It barely took in $10 million. No sequels! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qYCDEsersw The film's young star, Andy of Mayberry facsimile Alden Ehrenreich, was "discovered" by Spielberg at a friend's daughter's Bat …

I saw Groucho Marx perform in person. Allow me to take a moment to stick my tongue out at you unfortunates who can't claim the same. It was a few months shy of my Bar Mitzvah when Groucho agreed to …

Ric Roman Waugh is a wow of a salesman. I'm generally a fan of The Rock, but it's been some time since a Dwayne Johnson film held this much promise. After speaking with its passionate and knowledgeable ex-stuntman turned writer/director …

How many acts of cinematic theft can you pack into one trailer?

Let's take a look! Beloved super-dude appears before huge crowd of adoring fans and kisses a baby. Wow, haven't seen that since Megamind! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/15/40221/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/15/40220/ Oh, look: it turns out that we've got all this really cool technology, not because …

Note to franchise: drop dead already!

The third act plays out inside the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, but take my word for it: A Good Day to Die Hard is a bigger disaster than the 1986 meltdown. Other than Bruce Willis reprising the role as John …

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/15/40217/ If the above image does not convince you to see the senior-center documentary short "King's Point," I'm not sure we can be friends any more. Look, I'm not a fool. I know you're probably not thinking, "Woo-hoo! Friday night! …

Don Coscarelli first terrified audiences in 1979 with a flying sphere in Phantasm. Since then he has directed only ten films and four of them have the word “Phantasm” in their title. It’s not all horror for the director as …

Hint: The murder of a future SD Mayor's brother had a lot to do with it

The Reader's Don Bauder has an excellent new story about former San Diego Mayor Maureen O'Connor's recent legal tribulations: "Mayor Mo" stole $2 million from late husband's foundation. While O’Connor may have been one of the city’s better Mayors, I’ve …

Just in time for Valentine's Day!

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/14/40161/ The next film by Andrew Lau, writer and director of Infernal Affairs, will be produced by Martin Scorsese, the man who won His only Academy Award by remaking the Hong Kong action film as The Departed. How's that for …

In praise of low-budget, lowbrow, minor collaborations

Nobody, I think, is going to argue that Castle Freak represents the finest execution of the the "H.P. Lovecraft to Stuart Gordon to Jeffery Combs" combination; that honor pretty clearly goes to Re-Animator. But a passing mention of Castle Freak …

From the man who died with 40 lbs. of impacted feces in his colon comes a new taste treat! There's a little bit of Duke's "natural flavoring" in every bite of John Wayne Organic Beef Jerky. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/14/40149/ John Wayne Organic …

I don't think they're even trying any more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=a8DjuGlVknQ Just. Wow. What is the sound of one film pandering? Let's begin. Vince Vaughn is 42. Owen Wilson is 44. But for the sake of The Internship, they might as well be a couple of Foxy Grampas, looking to …

February holidays suck. All I can think of is how white and unloved I am. Happy VD from your pals at The Big Screen. Here are a few favorites to help get you through this day where commercialism and forced …

Documentary features members of Black Flag, The Locust, Hot Snakes, Heroin, Sleep, the Jesus Lizard, Drive Like Jehu, and many more.

Local musicians Jason Blackmore (Otro, Rats Eyes, Sirhan Sirhan, Molly McGuire) and David Robles (Wha?, Marsupials) posted a trailer today for their pending documentary Records Collecting Dust - Volume One: the California Edition. Simply described as “a film about the …

A 1 in 6,500 chance to win

Ten bucks, one-tenth of a Frankiln, could net you a pair of tickets to this year's Comic-Con. That's all it will cost to purchase a raffle ticket from Torrey Pines (La Jolla) Rotary Foundation to win two passes to Comic-Con …

Mid-meeting robbery occurs in Mission Valley Mall food court

I kinda’ like it when my colleagues at the San Diego Film Critics Society holler at me. It’s when they scream inside a food court that I find it so unnerving. Such was the case during last night’s meeting at …

...they just come back as grizzled versions of themselves.

Well, Bullet to the Head and Stand Up Guys and The Last Stand sure seem to be making the case against old folks gettin' out of their easy chairs and up on the big screen. But dammit, we won't really …

OMG, you guys.

The good times roll on Friday. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8C-wk5XfpE Whoa. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/12/40000/ "I'm not saying that George Harrison and Liberace ever partied with Hugh Hefner. I'm saying that if they did, this ensemble would have been the offspring of whatever clothes wound up …

Matthew beat me to it with this brilliant evisceration of Spielberg's latest ploy to ensure his place in the history books. Looks like Steve is on his way to being voted Best Director of the Year. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/12/39998/

DEPT OF NO, NOT REALLY

Press release came over the transom today: “LINCOLN” SPURS EDUCATIONAL CAMPAIGN All Middle and High Schools Across the U.S. to Receive DVDs of Steven Spielberg’s film as Part of Education Outreach BURBANK, CALIF. (February 11, 2013)–Jim Berk, Chief Executive Officer …

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/12/39982/ While I'd much prefer to report news of Albert Brooks directing Still Lost in America or Looking for More Comedy in the Muslim World, fans will be pleased to learn that he has finally agreed to lend his considerable …

The six actors who have portrayed James Bond over the years were invited by the Academy to stand together on one stage for the first time in history. One has vowed not to appear. Here is the Bond Honor Roll …

Following the elementary school massacre in Newtown, Conn. that left 20 first-graders and six teachers dead, tough talking Sheriff Joe Arpaio has had it up to here with gun violence. Arizona's self-styled "America's Toughest Sheriff" is sending a strong message …

Jude Law thinks back on the days when he would have gotten the Channing Tatum role. You guys, Side Effects is a really good piece of modern film noir. The torturous recesses of the human heart, the unseemly grease on …

An alcoholic sociopath in a Bozo fright wig (Melissa McCarthy) uses money she electronically pilfers from middle class schmucks to buy strangers rounds of drinks in hope of winning a friend. One of her victims (Jason Bateman) gets wise to …

This Marks piece on Speedy Gonzalez was great - you should read it. I'm posting this followup only to spur him to perform a similar service for another bit of Looney Tunes ethnic hilarity, one Pepe Le Pew. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/07/39717/ Hee …

Shopping mall gouges patrons with $8 an hour parking fee

It was all over the news yesterday. The three free hours with validation are gone unless you drop at least $10 at one of their stores. Otherwise, $8 an hour or a flat $20 after 9 p.m. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/07/39701/ It's not …

Phil Spector? Too easy. C'mon Pacino - reach. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/06/39652/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/06/39653/

Some crucial omissions!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx-mUxk82B4 I mean, yeah, 3D dogfights are probably cool, but we all know why everybody's going, right? 3D Buns! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/06/39648/ 3D Volleyball! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/06/39649/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/06/39650/ And 3D tongues! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/06/39651/ I mean, really. Don't make me do your job, people.

Word is circulating that Disney plans to devote one of its stand-alone Star Wars films to Yoda. Yoda!

Disney Exec 1: "Have you tried this stuff? Green cocaine. They mix it with lemongrass or some shit - it's super-healthy." Disney Exec 2: "Green cocaine! Awesome! [Snorts huge line.] [Speaks in bad Yoda imitation]: Good shit, this is. So …

Call me Satan, but I sure do love it when celebrities break down in public. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/06/39640/ First off, what the f is Robert DeNiro doing on Katie? Ooooh! It's bad enough that praise is being heaped upon his latest walk-through …

Years in the making, Pac-Arts white Drive-By Cinema van, an experimental mobile movie project, is set to hit the streets with "a celebration of love and kung fu this lunar year." After several test runs, the training wheels are off …

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/05/39554/ In order to ensure a PG-13 rating they'll be plenty of this... http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/05/39556/ ...and not enough this. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/05/39557/ This time they promise... http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/05/39553/ ...and... http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/05/39555/ Universal chairman Adam Fogelson told Deadline that "the racing aspect had put a 'ceiling' …

Festival runs February 7-17 at Reading Cinemas Town Square 14

With the meshungina v'toit over at AMC La Jolla still deciding whether they want to run a movie theatre or a glorified Brew 'n View (and Arclight pricing themselves out of the game) it looks like the San Diego Jewish …

Tony Scott is ended (but the malady lingers on). Top Gun, the film that made San Diego famous, is being brought back for six days, this time in the grandeur of IMAX 3D. Wasn't it just two years ago that …

It's all about the money, boys and girls.

Oh, boy, this is a sad story. Not the story in the movie - that was meant to be hopeful and even happy in places. No, I'm talking about the story of the movie. So the Chinese distributor for Cloud …

Not to be confused withe Day of the Jackal or Day of the Triffids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8Iig7KChzY This film got made in 2011, but for whatever reason, it's coming out here in 2013. The premise isn't terrible - the discovery of oil in the Middle East ignites old tensions between Arab tribes, and forces traditional peoples …

The legendary and eternally graceful Diahann Carroll will be at the San Diego Black Film Festival tomorrow night to accept the Millennium Award for Lifetime Achievement in Television and Motion Pictures. In a career that spans almost six decades, Diahann …

January must be over, because suddenly, the stars are shining in the cinematic firmament... You know what I think? I think Scott Marks has a soft spot for small-time crooks. First, he got all misty-eyed over Killing Them Softly. Now, …