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Trailer Park: Man of Steel

Fight heterophobia!

You know, "fear of the different."

Because if a super-dude saved my son from a bus that was sinking into the water, I know I'd be pretty angry. Because the dude was super. How dare he? Wait, what? I dunno, man - she sure sounds mad to me.

"He'll be an outcast. They'll kill him."

Because that's what people do to heroic, handsome dudes who are really good at physical feats of strength. We make them pariahs. COME BACK WHEN YOU'VE GOT A BEER GUT, A BUM KNEE, AND A DRUG PROBLEM, JERK!

"What if a child dreamed of becoming something other than what society intended?"

Like what, a mass murderer? Oh, society, you so crazy. What exactly does society intend any more?

"What if a child aspired to something greater?"

Well, then, society would kill it. You never hear anyone talking about people following their dreams or achieving greatness, do you? I mean, we are forever being encouraged to stop aspiring, right? That's what society wants.

"For some, he was a guardian angel. For others, a ghost who never quite fit in."

Yeah, this one time on the oil rig, we were all sitting around drinking beers and lighting farts, but Clark totally wouldn't light his farts. He said that if he did, we'd all die in a flatulent fireball. That dude never did fit in.

"You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards."

Yes, the ideal being invincibility and flying. Keep striving, people of earth.

"My father believed if the world found out who I really was, they'd reject me."

Right. Because the world isn't constantly searching for new gods to worship. I don't know, you guys. Zod looks amazing. So does Supes. But all this rejection angst? I'm not feeling it. This isn't Peter Parker we're talking about. Nobody bullies Superman.

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Gonzo Report: Eating dinner while little kids mock-mosh at Golden Island

“The tot absorbs the punk rock shot with the skill of experience”

You know, "fear of the different."

Because if a super-dude saved my son from a bus that was sinking into the water, I know I'd be pretty angry. Because the dude was super. How dare he? Wait, what? I dunno, man - she sure sounds mad to me.

"He'll be an outcast. They'll kill him."

Because that's what people do to heroic, handsome dudes who are really good at physical feats of strength. We make them pariahs. COME BACK WHEN YOU'VE GOT A BEER GUT, A BUM KNEE, AND A DRUG PROBLEM, JERK!

"What if a child dreamed of becoming something other than what society intended?"

Like what, a mass murderer? Oh, society, you so crazy. What exactly does society intend any more?

"What if a child aspired to something greater?"

Well, then, society would kill it. You never hear anyone talking about people following their dreams or achieving greatness, do you? I mean, we are forever being encouraged to stop aspiring, right? That's what society wants.

"For some, he was a guardian angel. For others, a ghost who never quite fit in."

Yeah, this one time on the oil rig, we were all sitting around drinking beers and lighting farts, but Clark totally wouldn't light his farts. He said that if he did, we'd all die in a flatulent fireball. That dude never did fit in.

"You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards."

Yes, the ideal being invincibility and flying. Keep striving, people of earth.

"My father believed if the world found out who I really was, they'd reject me."

Right. Because the world isn't constantly searching for new gods to worship. I don't know, you guys. Zod looks amazing. So does Supes. But all this rejection angst? I'm not feeling it. This isn't Peter Parker we're talking about. Nobody bullies Superman.

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