Here's something you might be interested in.
Random raging over this year's nominees:
Quick -- what were last year's Best Picture nominees? Can't remember, huh? That's because in the grand scheme of things, the Academy Awards are a meaningless arbiter, reflecting the dim taste of Hollywood's "elite." They wouldn't know art if it came up and bit them on the ass as evidenced by including Extremely Dull and Incredibly Offensive -- the first "feel-good" film about 9/11 and my winner for worst picture of the year -- among the Best Picture hopefuls.
Martin Scorsese's Hugo leads the pack with 11 nominations, but from where I sit, that only means 11 chances for it to lose. The staid voters are more than likely to slight Marty's passionate love letter to the medium he holds dear. Who needs art when there's The Artist, a silent film for people who have never seen one? (Maybe they saw Mel Brooks' Silent Movie.) One of my colleagues praised The Artist saying, "there has never in the history of cinema been a film like it." A film critic without a sense of history is like a marathon-runner without legs. It was my sad duty to inform her that prior to 1928, all films were silent.
While he doesn't stand a chance (Clooney is a shoe-in for Best Actor), the most surprising (and intelligent) nomination is Demian Bichir for A Better Life.
The Artist for Best Original Score?! Bernard Herrmann is spinning in his grave.
Why are there only 9 Best Picture nominees? The past 2 years, the Academy experimented with doubling the number of nominees. They couldn't find 1 more picture to make it an even 10?
I was forced to do a double-take upon noticing a Best Adapted Screenplay nomination for The Ides of March. I thought these were the Oscars, not the Emmys.
Kung Fu Panda 2 and Rango were both recognized as outstanding Animated features and Tintin didn't make the cut. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Defecation = Nomination. This quickest way to win Oscar's heart this year was to move your bowels either in a bathroom sink or the white devil's pie.
The funniest thing about Bridesmaids, a long-form scatological SNL skit, is that it received a Best Original Screenplay mention. If Cary Grant never won an Oscar because in the eyes of Academy fools he spent a career playing himself, does that means Melissa McCarthy's one-note, semi-autobiographical performance in Bridesmaids will go unrewarded? Seriously, how can a group allegedly dedicated to honoring the best in film nominate anyone associated with a movie that basically says women can be just as crude and piggish as men?
Four of the Best Foreign Language and all of the Best Documentary nominees have yet to play San Diego.
The biggest disappointment was the snub of Albert Brooks for Drive. Look on the bright side. What with his Best Supporting Actor nod, it appears that Jonah Hill won't be forced into doing Jenny Craig commercials anytime in the near future.
If Man or Muppet wins Best Song (it has a 50/50 chance), it will go down in history as the worst tune ever to win an Oscar, and that's saying a lot.
Who will win when the Awards are handed out on February 26? One thing is for certain: the biggest losers will be those who make it all the way through the 3 1/2 hour telecast. I'll be here blogging along during the festivities. Please join me in helping to burst Oscar's bubble.
BEST PICTURE
Hugo, The Artist, War Horse, The Descendants, Moneyball, The Tree of Life, Midnight in Paris, The Help, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
BEST DIRECTOR
Martin Scorsese (Hugo), Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist), Alexander Payne (The Descendants), Woody Allen, (Midnight in Paris), Terrence Malick, (The Tree of Life)
BEST ACTOR
Demian Bichir, (A Better Life), George Clooney, (The Descendants), Jean Dujardin, (The Artist), Gary Oldman, (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy), Brad Pitt, (Moneyball)
BEST ACTRESS
Glenn Close (Albert Nobbs), Viola Davis (The Help), Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady), Michelle Williams (My Week With Marilyn)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jonah Hill (Moneyball), Kenneth Branagh (My Week With Marilyn), Max von Sydow (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close), Nick Nolte (Warrior), Christopher Plummer (Beginners)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Berenice Bejo (The Artist), Jessica Chastain (The Help), Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids), Janet McTeer (Albert Nobbs), Octavia Spencer (The Help)
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Artist, Bridesmaids, Margin Call, Midnight in Paris, A Separation
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Hugo, The Descendants, The Ides of March, Moneyball, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
A Cat in Paris, Chico & Rita, Kung Fu Panda 2, Puss in Boots, Rango
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
A Separation, Footnote, In Darkness, Bullhead, Monsieur Lahzar
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Pina, Hell and Back Again, If A Tree Falls: The Story of the Earth Liberation Front, Paradise Lost 3, Undefeated
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Artist, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Hugo, The Tree of Life, War Horse
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
The Adventures of Tintin, The Artist, Hugo, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, War Horse
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
Man or Muppet from The Muppets, Real in Rio from Rio
BEST EDITING
The Artist, The Descendants, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Hugo, Moneyball
BEST ART DIRECTION
The Artist, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, War Horse
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Anonymous, The Artist, Hugo, Jane Eyre, W.E.
BEST MAKEUP
Albert Nobbs, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, The Iron Lady
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Hugo, Real Steel, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Transformers: Dark of the Moon
BEST SOUND MIXING
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moneyball, Hugo, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, War Horse
BEST SOUND EDITING
Drive, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, War Horse
BEST ANIMATED SHORT
Dimanche/Sunday, The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore, La Luna, A Morning Stroll, Wild Life
BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT
Pentecost, Raju, The Shore, Time Freak, Tuba Atlantic
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement, God Is the Bigger Elvis, Incident in New Baghdad, Saving Face, The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom
Random raging over this year's nominees:
Quick -- what were last year's Best Picture nominees? Can't remember, huh? That's because in the grand scheme of things, the Academy Awards are a meaningless arbiter, reflecting the dim taste of Hollywood's "elite." They wouldn't know art if it came up and bit them on the ass as evidenced by including Extremely Dull and Incredibly Offensive -- the first "feel-good" film about 9/11 and my winner for worst picture of the year -- among the Best Picture hopefuls.
Martin Scorsese's Hugo leads the pack with 11 nominations, but from where I sit, that only means 11 chances for it to lose. The staid voters are more than likely to slight Marty's passionate love letter to the medium he holds dear. Who needs art when there's The Artist, a silent film for people who have never seen one? (Maybe they saw Mel Brooks' Silent Movie.) One of my colleagues praised The Artist saying, "there has never in the history of cinema been a film like it." A film critic without a sense of history is like a marathon-runner without legs. It was my sad duty to inform her that prior to 1928, all films were silent.
While he doesn't stand a chance (Clooney is a shoe-in for Best Actor), the most surprising (and intelligent) nomination is Demian Bichir for A Better Life.
The Artist for Best Original Score?! Bernard Herrmann is spinning in his grave.
Why are there only 9 Best Picture nominees? The past 2 years, the Academy experimented with doubling the number of nominees. They couldn't find 1 more picture to make it an even 10?
I was forced to do a double-take upon noticing a Best Adapted Screenplay nomination for The Ides of March. I thought these were the Oscars, not the Emmys.
Kung Fu Panda 2 and Rango were both recognized as outstanding Animated features and Tintin didn't make the cut. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Defecation = Nomination. This quickest way to win Oscar's heart this year was to move your bowels either in a bathroom sink or the white devil's pie.
The funniest thing about Bridesmaids, a long-form scatological SNL skit, is that it received a Best Original Screenplay mention. If Cary Grant never won an Oscar because in the eyes of Academy fools he spent a career playing himself, does that means Melissa McCarthy's one-note, semi-autobiographical performance in Bridesmaids will go unrewarded? Seriously, how can a group allegedly dedicated to honoring the best in film nominate anyone associated with a movie that basically says women can be just as crude and piggish as men?
Four of the Best Foreign Language and all of the Best Documentary nominees have yet to play San Diego.
The biggest disappointment was the snub of Albert Brooks for Drive. Look on the bright side. What with his Best Supporting Actor nod, it appears that Jonah Hill won't be forced into doing Jenny Craig commercials anytime in the near future.
If Man or Muppet wins Best Song (it has a 50/50 chance), it will go down in history as the worst tune ever to win an Oscar, and that's saying a lot.
Who will win when the Awards are handed out on February 26? One thing is for certain: the biggest losers will be those who make it all the way through the 3 1/2 hour telecast. I'll be here blogging along during the festivities. Please join me in helping to burst Oscar's bubble.
BEST PICTURE
Hugo, The Artist, War Horse, The Descendants, Moneyball, The Tree of Life, Midnight in Paris, The Help, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
BEST DIRECTOR
Martin Scorsese (Hugo), Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist), Alexander Payne (The Descendants), Woody Allen, (Midnight in Paris), Terrence Malick, (The Tree of Life)
BEST ACTOR
Demian Bichir, (A Better Life), George Clooney, (The Descendants), Jean Dujardin, (The Artist), Gary Oldman, (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy), Brad Pitt, (Moneyball)
BEST ACTRESS
Glenn Close (Albert Nobbs), Viola Davis (The Help), Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady), Michelle Williams (My Week With Marilyn)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jonah Hill (Moneyball), Kenneth Branagh (My Week With Marilyn), Max von Sydow (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close), Nick Nolte (Warrior), Christopher Plummer (Beginners)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Berenice Bejo (The Artist), Jessica Chastain (The Help), Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids), Janet McTeer (Albert Nobbs), Octavia Spencer (The Help)
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Artist, Bridesmaids, Margin Call, Midnight in Paris, A Separation
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Hugo, The Descendants, The Ides of March, Moneyball, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
A Cat in Paris, Chico & Rita, Kung Fu Panda 2, Puss in Boots, Rango
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
A Separation, Footnote, In Darkness, Bullhead, Monsieur Lahzar
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Pina, Hell and Back Again, If A Tree Falls: The Story of the Earth Liberation Front, Paradise Lost 3, Undefeated
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Artist, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Hugo, The Tree of Life, War Horse
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
The Adventures of Tintin, The Artist, Hugo, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, War Horse
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
Man or Muppet from The Muppets, Real in Rio from Rio
BEST EDITING
The Artist, The Descendants, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Hugo, Moneyball
BEST ART DIRECTION
The Artist, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, War Horse
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Anonymous, The Artist, Hugo, Jane Eyre, W.E.
BEST MAKEUP
Albert Nobbs, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, The Iron Lady
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Hugo, Real Steel, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Transformers: Dark of the Moon
BEST SOUND MIXING
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moneyball, Hugo, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, War Horse
BEST SOUND EDITING
Drive, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, War Horse
BEST ANIMATED SHORT
Dimanche/Sunday, The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore, La Luna, A Morning Stroll, Wild Life
BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT
Pentecost, Raju, The Shore, Time Freak, Tuba Atlantic
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement, God Is the Bigger Elvis, Incident in New Baghdad, Saving Face, The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom