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A Dusting of Dandruff from The Reader Christmas Party

Wednesday night saw the first of what I hope will be many appearances at the annual Reader Christmas party. Once I remember what happened, I'll never forget it. The bartender must have seen Written on the Wind. He had the Kyle Hadley recipe for martinis down pat: don't pour the Vermouth, just pretend you're pouring it. The next morning, the alarm went off and I couldn't open my eyes for three hours. I'd have bled to death.

This was to be the initial face-to-face with my wiseguy editor, Ernie Grimm. The first time ever I heard his voice was on a message he left in an attempt to clear up a point of confusion. "You'll have to forgive me," he began. "I haven't had much sleep in the past fifteen years." With a name like Grimm, you had best come equipped with a sense of humor.

It was love at first fright. Ernie has a crush on my hair. A post-party email arrived that contained the following:

"Recognize the hair?"

What is that supposed to be, some kind of follicular swipe aimed at impugning my haircomb? Momma always told me, "Son, if you ain't good looking the least you can do is look good." Everything from the scalp down is a mess, but I do have me some good hair. I fired back:

"Right church, wrong pew."

Look at the head of hair on that kid! Marone! Compared to Bobby Rydell, Fabian looks like he sleeps standing under a griddle.

I come by it honestly. My late parents both had impressive coiffures, even though mom frequently found it difficult fitting her head through doorways.

My parents, Hymie and Sadie Marks.

Sadly, no photos were taken of me during last night's Christmas party -- a lampshade obscured my face -- so we'll have to go with this artist's rendition from the pencil of my pal and colleague, eleven-year-old film critic, Perry "Elmyr de Hory" Chen:

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Haunted Trail of Balboa Park, ZZ Top, Gem Diego Show

Events October 31-November 2, 2024

Wednesday night saw the first of what I hope will be many appearances at the annual Reader Christmas party. Once I remember what happened, I'll never forget it. The bartender must have seen Written on the Wind. He had the Kyle Hadley recipe for martinis down pat: don't pour the Vermouth, just pretend you're pouring it. The next morning, the alarm went off and I couldn't open my eyes for three hours. I'd have bled to death.

This was to be the initial face-to-face with my wiseguy editor, Ernie Grimm. The first time ever I heard his voice was on a message he left in an attempt to clear up a point of confusion. "You'll have to forgive me," he began. "I haven't had much sleep in the past fifteen years." With a name like Grimm, you had best come equipped with a sense of humor.

It was love at first fright. Ernie has a crush on my hair. A post-party email arrived that contained the following:

"Recognize the hair?"

What is that supposed to be, some kind of follicular swipe aimed at impugning my haircomb? Momma always told me, "Son, if you ain't good looking the least you can do is look good." Everything from the scalp down is a mess, but I do have me some good hair. I fired back:

"Right church, wrong pew."

Look at the head of hair on that kid! Marone! Compared to Bobby Rydell, Fabian looks like he sleeps standing under a griddle.

I come by it honestly. My late parents both had impressive coiffures, even though mom frequently found it difficult fitting her head through doorways.

My parents, Hymie and Sadie Marks.

Sadly, no photos were taken of me during last night's Christmas party -- a lampshade obscured my face -- so we'll have to go with this artist's rendition from the pencil of my pal and colleague, eleven-year-old film critic, Perry "Elmyr de Hory" Chen:

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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