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A Most Exceptional Duck
A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK
OFFBEAT AND UNUSUAL, SUCH FRIENDS I'VE HAD MANY,
A
PERHAPS THE MOST ODD AND OFFBEAT OF ALL,
AN ABANDONED YOUNG DUCK, BRAND NEW TO THE WORLD.
HEATHER AND I TOOK HIM INTO OUR HOME,
HIS NAMESAKE A HOBBIT NAMED "BILBO,"
A NAME TO SAY SLOWLY WHEN INTRODUCING A DUCK
LEST THE LISTENER THINK THEY'VE JUST MET A "DILDO."
WELL-MANNERED WHEN YOUNG, HE'D HOLD IN HIS POOP
WHILE INDOORS OR RIDING IN POCKETS.
FIRST WITH PEEPS, THEN WITH QUACKS, HE'D YELL TO GO OUT -
A HABIT I MISSED WHEN HE LOST IT.
AN INDUSTRIOUS DUCK, HEATHER GOT HIM A JOB,
SELLING DUCK STUFF TO TOURISTS WHO MET HIM.
RODE TO WORK IN A BOX ON THE BACK OF HER SCOOTER -
IT'S NOT LIKE A HELMET WOULD FIT HIM!
BRAVE AS A LION AND FAST AS A CHEETAH,
TACKLING BUGS HALF HIS SIZE WITHOUT FEAR.
A WELL-TRAVELLED DUCK, THOUGH NOT LOVED AT HOTELS
WHERE MOST SAID "GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!"
WHEN KITTENS SHOWED UP IN HIS YARD WITH NO MOMMA,
HE TOOK OVER AND WAS THEIR DUCK DAD.
THEY FOUND COMFORT IN CUDDLING TO HIS CONFIDENT QUACK,
THOUGH THE PECKING AND GROOMING DROVE 'EM
A LAND-LOVING DUCK, HE NEVER DID FLY,
SAVE FOR THREE OR FOUR SECONDS OF LIFT.
A GARDENER DUCK, HE ATE ALL THE RIGHT BUGS,
POOPING PERFECT MANURE HE'D PRESENT LIKE A GIFT.
FEW LIVES INTERSECT, NOT IN MEANINGFUL WAYS,
BUT GOD BLESSED ME WITH FORTUNE AND LUCK
TO HAVE SHARED IN THE MOST EXCEPTIONAL LIFE
OF A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK.
JAS
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A Most Exceptional Duck
A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK
OFFBEAT AND UNUSUAL, SUCH FRIENDS I'VE HAD MANY,
A
PERHAPS THE MOST ODD AND OFFBEAT OF ALL,
AN ABANDONED YOUNG DUCK, BRAND NEW TO THE WORLD.
HEATHER AND I TOOK HIM INTO OUR HOME,
HIS NAMESAKE A HOBBIT NAMED "BILBO,"
A NAME TO SAY SLOWLY WHEN INTRODUCING A DUCK
LEST THE LISTENER THINK THEY'VE JUST MET A "DILDO."
WELL-MANNERED WHEN YOUNG, HE'D HOLD IN HIS POOP
WHILE INDOORS OR RIDING IN POCKETS.
FIRST WITH PEEPS, THEN WITH QUACKS, HE'D YELL TO GO OUT -
A HABIT I MISSED WHEN HE LOST IT.
AN INDUSTRIOUS DUCK, HEATHER GOT HIM A JOB,
SELLING DUCK STUFF TO TOURISTS WHO MET HIM.
RODE TO WORK IN A BOX ON THE BACK OF HER SCOOTER -
IT'S NOT LIKE A HELMET WOULD FIT HIM!
BRAVE AS A LION AND FAST AS A CHEETAH,
TACKLING BUGS HALF HIS SIZE WITHOUT FEAR.
A WELL-TRAVELLED DUCK, THOUGH NOT LOVED AT HOTELS
WHERE MOST SAID "GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!"
WHEN KITTENS SHOWED UP IN HIS YARD WITH NO MOMMA,
HE TOOK OVER AND WAS THEIR DUCK DAD.
THEY FOUND COMFORT IN CUDDLING TO HIS CONFIDENT QUACK,
THOUGH THE PECKING AND GROOMING DROVE 'EM
A LAND-LOVING DUCK, HE NEVER DID FLY,
SAVE FOR THREE OR FOUR SECONDS OF LIFT.
A GARDENER DUCK, HE ATE ALL THE RIGHT BUGS,
POOPING PERFECT MANURE HE'D PRESENT LIKE A GIFT.
FEW LIVES INTERSECT, NOT IN MEANINGFUL WAYS,
BUT GOD BLESSED ME WITH FORTUNE AND LUCK
TO HAVE SHARED IN THE MOST EXCEPTIONAL LIFE
OF A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK.
JAS
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