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A Most Exceptional Duck

A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK

 

OFFBEAT AND UNUSUAL, SUCH FRIENDS I'VE HAD MANY,

    A LOT OF ODD BIRDS TO BE SURE.

PERHAPS THE MOST ODD AND OFFBEAT OF ALL,

    AN ABANDONED YOUNG DUCK, BRAND NEW TO THE WORLD.

 

HEATHER AND I TOOK HIM INTO OUR HOME,

    HIS NAMESAKE A HOBBIT NAMED "BILBO,"

A NAME TO SAY SLOWLY WHEN INTRODUCING A DUCK

    LEST THE LISTENER THINK THEY'VE JUST MET A "DILDO."

 

WELL-MANNERED WHEN YOUNG, HE'D HOLD IN HIS POOP

    WHILE INDOORS OR RIDING IN POCKETS.

FIRST WITH PEEPS, THEN WITH QUACKS, HE'D YELL TO GO OUT -

    A HABIT I MISSED WHEN HE LOST IT.

 

AN INDUSTRIOUS DUCK, HEATHER GOT HIM A JOB,

    SELLING DUCK STUFF TO TOURISTS WHO MET HIM.

RODE TO WORK IN A BOX ON THE BACK OF HER SCOOTER -

    IT'S NOT LIKE A HELMET WOULD FIT HIM!

 

BRAVE AS A LION AND FAST AS A CHEETAH,

    TACKLING BUGS HALF HIS SIZE WITHOUT FEAR.

A WELL-TRAVELLED DUCK, THOUGH NOT LOVED AT HOTELS

    WHERE MOST SAID "GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!"

 

WHEN KITTENS SHOWED UP IN HIS YARD WITH NO MOMMA,

    HE TOOK OVER AND WAS THEIR DUCK DAD.

THEY FOUND COMFORT IN CUDDLING TO HIS CONFIDENT QUACK,

    THOUGH THE PECKING AND GROOMING DROVE 'EM MAD.

 

A LAND-LOVING DUCK, HE NEVER DID FLY,

    SAVE FOR THREE OR FOUR SECONDS OF LIFT.

A GARDENER DUCK, HE ATE ALL THE RIGHT BUGS,

    POOPING PERFECT MANURE HE'D PRESENT LIKE A GIFT.

 

FEW LIVES INTERSECT, NOT IN MEANINGFUL WAYS,

    BUT GOD BLESSED ME WITH FORTUNE AND LUCK

TO HAVE SHARED IN THE MOST EXCEPTIONAL LIFE

    OF A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK.

 JAS

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San Diego Dim Sum Tour, Warwick’s Holiday Open House

Events November 24-November 27, 2024

A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK

 

OFFBEAT AND UNUSUAL, SUCH FRIENDS I'VE HAD MANY,

    A LOT OF ODD BIRDS TO BE SURE.

PERHAPS THE MOST ODD AND OFFBEAT OF ALL,

    AN ABANDONED YOUNG DUCK, BRAND NEW TO THE WORLD.

 

HEATHER AND I TOOK HIM INTO OUR HOME,

    HIS NAMESAKE A HOBBIT NAMED "BILBO,"

A NAME TO SAY SLOWLY WHEN INTRODUCING A DUCK

    LEST THE LISTENER THINK THEY'VE JUST MET A "DILDO."

 

WELL-MANNERED WHEN YOUNG, HE'D HOLD IN HIS POOP

    WHILE INDOORS OR RIDING IN POCKETS.

FIRST WITH PEEPS, THEN WITH QUACKS, HE'D YELL TO GO OUT -

    A HABIT I MISSED WHEN HE LOST IT.

 

AN INDUSTRIOUS DUCK, HEATHER GOT HIM A JOB,

    SELLING DUCK STUFF TO TOURISTS WHO MET HIM.

RODE TO WORK IN A BOX ON THE BACK OF HER SCOOTER -

    IT'S NOT LIKE A HELMET WOULD FIT HIM!

 

BRAVE AS A LION AND FAST AS A CHEETAH,

    TACKLING BUGS HALF HIS SIZE WITHOUT FEAR.

A WELL-TRAVELLED DUCK, THOUGH NOT LOVED AT HOTELS

    WHERE MOST SAID "GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE!"

 

WHEN KITTENS SHOWED UP IN HIS YARD WITH NO MOMMA,

    HE TOOK OVER AND WAS THEIR DUCK DAD.

THEY FOUND COMFORT IN CUDDLING TO HIS CONFIDENT QUACK,

    THOUGH THE PECKING AND GROOMING DROVE 'EM MAD.

 

A LAND-LOVING DUCK, HE NEVER DID FLY,

    SAVE FOR THREE OR FOUR SECONDS OF LIFT.

A GARDENER DUCK, HE ATE ALL THE RIGHT BUGS,

    POOPING PERFECT MANURE HE'D PRESENT LIKE A GIFT.

 

FEW LIVES INTERSECT, NOT IN MEANINGFUL WAYS,

    BUT GOD BLESSED ME WITH FORTUNE AND LUCK

TO HAVE SHARED IN THE MOST EXCEPTIONAL LIFE

    OF A MOST EXCEPTIONAL DUCK.

 JAS

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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