SD on the QT. By Walter Mencken. Subscribe to this blog.
Entries
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: "There is absolutely nothing going on at Balboa Park's House of Iran."
"I mean, why would you even ask such a question," continued Ahmadinejad. "But sadly, no - Park authorities may not conduct their annual walkthrough this year."
Hey!
Dear Dorian Hargrove, No fair taking the best comedy headlines for the News Ticker blog. http://www.sandiegoreader.com/weblogs/news-ticker/2011/jul/06/audit-finds-waste-in-countys-animal-services-contr/ Waste in the Animal Services department? Who'da thunk it? Sincerely, Walter Mencken
IKEA Mission Valley Clarifies its No Solicitation Policy
Unless, of course, you are cute, blonde, and gathering signatures in support of gay marriage. We are not, after all, barbarians here.
Sweet Lovin'?
Local Biomedical Company Creates Sexually Transmitted Diabetes "Helloooo, funding!" COWERING IN A HAZMAT SUIT, SOMEWHERE IN SORRENTO VALLEY - In a move that seems destined to upset fans of unprotected, non-monogamous sex, Biomedical development company Pathogenesis today announced that it …
Who Plays Who: City Pension 401(k) Battle Edition
On Boston Legal, James Spader played Alan Shore, an attorney who was skilled at cloaking his more dubious maneuvers with righteousness. Lincoln Club President T.J. Zane claims that firefighters protesting the petition to phase out city pensions in favor of …
14 Dead: Is Fair Foul?
Runaway popularity of new Deep-Fried Jello Shots helps 2011 San Diego County Fair shatter previous Fair's death toll record. You can't keep a good man down. But you can keep a fat man eating grease and pounding booze until his …
Downtown San Diego Destroyed in Great Sparkler Fire of 2011
Frustrated Citizens Attempt to Replace Scotched Fireworks Displays with Small-Scale Legal Alternative, Instead Cause Massive Conflagration as Over One Million Sparklers Combine to Form Deadly Yet Spectacular Blaze At least the water is still clean. WE SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO …
Something in the (Sweet)water?
Scandals Continue to Rock School District; Book-Fencing Honors English Teacher Provides Latest Aftershock. The New "Dirty South"? HIGH ON A SOAPBOX, CHULA VISTA. Is there nothing the gang down in Sweetwater won't do? First the grade corrections. Then the meals …
Outrage! [Warning: Adult Content]
Local GLBT Community Protests Visiting Catholic Priest's Refusal to Hold Funeral Parade for Local Gay Man Who Owned Popular Popef*ckers.com Porn Site Bishop Brom Quickly Apologizes, Agrees to Provide Free Advertising for Site in Diocesan Newspaper, All Parish Bulletins Diocese: …
Who Plays Who: Imminent Earthquake Edition
John Larroquette served as the narrator for the original 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and also the 2003 remake). Scripps Institute of Oceanography geologist Dr. Yuri Fialko led the original 2006 study warning of a massive, imminent earthquake in Southern California …
Hillcrest Firefighters Calendar Raises Entire Cost of Station Redesign
PEEKING THROUGH THE WINDOW, CORNER OF NINTH AND UNIVERSITY - Through a series of one-time fixes and creative accounting measures, Strong Mayor Sanders and the San Diego City Council were able to avoid continuing the "brownout" policy that saw San …
Stabbing Poseidon Ordered Removed From Wall of Winston's in Ocean Beach
Pictured: The angry deity. Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea, mysteriously appeared in Ocean Beach a few days before the summer solstice, rising up out of the blue and wielding a huge trident. He arrived seemingly out of thin …
Incoming!
Miramar Air Show, Seeking to Kindle Interest Among the Young People of Today, Teams with Activision to Create Call of Duty-Style "Virtual Gunnery." From the MAS Walkthrough on YouTube: "These F/A-18 Hornets are tricky; the Tunguska's machine guns can't track …
Who Plays Who: The Many Faces of Former Tijuana Mayor Jorge Hank Rhon Edition
On Growing Pains, Alan Thicke played Dr. Jason Seaver, a nice guy who had to deal with Kirk Cameron's troublemaking. Former Tijuana mayor Jorge Hank Rhon is a nice guy who recently had to deal with the discovery of nearly …
"Oh, dread, he's up to my..."
In Hindsight, Petting Zoo Installation at San Diego Civic Center Concourse's June 18 Reptile Super Show Probably Not Such a Great Idea "See, kids, snakes aren't slimy!"
Movie Mummies
Pictured: Meg Ryan as she appeared in 1989, how she appears today, and how she would appear today without the benefit of cosmetic surgery. SAN DIEGO, WHICH IS NOT ALL THAT FAR FROM HOLLYWOOD, YOU KNOW — Hundreds of respected …
Grandpa GPS?
New implanted chip would aid in identification of dotty, daffy, or merely dizzy Olds "Permanent identification of people! Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?" A bill working its way through the California legislature would require that all seniors afflicted …
The First National Bank of FUN
Local mobile ATM operator "cashes in" on State's decision to ban use of welfare debit cards in strip clubs, casinos, and massage parlors. "I'm there when you need me." PARKING LOT OF CHEETAH'S TOTALLY NUDE - Earlier this month, the …
(Fast and) Loose Troop
Scandal Erupts Amid Accusations of Slot-Loosening Exaggerations By Members of Barona Casino''s Loose Troop State Board of Loose Regulation Considers Revocation of Barona's Loosening License "We must keep a tight watch on those who claim to be loose." Related.