SD on the QT. By Walter Mencken. Subscribe to this blog.
Entries
Mayoral Candidate Invites President Obama to "Bud Summit" in Vancouver
Candidate Crane Hopes to Convert "President Obummer," Prevent Federal Crackdown on Medical Marijuana Magician and retired teacher claims, "It's no trick - I just want to educate the man." AT LEAST 1000 FEET FROM THE NEAREST SCHOOL - When the …
In Honor of Steve Jobs' Passing, Area Apple Stores to Remain Open for NeXT 24 Hours
"When the Pope died, did they lock up the churches?" Apple co-founder, longtime CEO, and chief visionary Steve Jobs died yesterday, and to commemorate his lifetime of innovations on behalf of consumer technology, the company announced today that their retail …
Occupy San Diego Occupies San Diego Starbucks
Protest Movement Finds Plenty to Protest Over Chai Lattes "When the revolution comes, there will be no wi-fi. Until then..." WAITING IN LINE FOR AN OVERPRICED COFFEE-RELATED BEVERAGE - Occupy San Diego, the San Diego-based offshoot of the Occupy Wall …
Anti-Suicide Advocates Protest Play
BACKSTAGE AT N'OREO - Last weekend saw the opening of Miles to Go, an adaptation of Marketa Algeria Nunes's play by the same name, created and staged by local theater company N'Oreo. The play drew praise from KPBS for the …
Reader Writer Inspires Local Biotech Firm to Create Man-Pig Chimera
John Brizzolara's Awed Envy Over 30-Minute Porcine Orgasm Sends Embryo-Fiddlers Into Fevered Frenzy of Frankensteining "We figure that most men are pigs already, so most people won't complain. Especially not the orgasmic man-pigs." STARING AT THE CEILING, AWASH IN A …
Gaga Gone Wrong!
San Diego Model in Stable Condition After Mass Pigeon Attack on Dress Made from Cranberries. Hindsight Commissioner: "It's common sense: you don't wear a meat bikini at a dog show, and you don't wear a cranberry dress in a city …
San Diego Airport to Replace "Smarte Carts" with "Prison Porters"
Plan Would Ease Stress on Overcrowded County Prisons, Also Ease Stress on Overburdened Airline Passengers "We think people will appreciate 'That human touch.'" NERVOUSLY CLUTCHING CARRY-ON, SAN DIEGO AIRPORT - Ever since California's move last spring to transfer thousands of …
Netflix Spinoff Qwikster Pays $20 Million for Naming Rights to New Central Library
DVD Delivery Arm of Popular Movie Service Seeks Needed Public Relations Boost; San Diego Library System Seeks Needed Cash Money "'Qwikster Central' - well, it sounds better than just 'Qwikster,' I guess." GAZING WITH CAUTIOUS HOPE AT THE NAKED REBAR …
In Celebration of Repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, Waterfront's "Unconditional Surrender" Statue to be Replaced by "Hey, Sailor."
On August 14, 1945, New York City exploded into celebration over V-J day and the end of the Second World War. One particularly exuberant sailor, recalled photographer Alfred Eisenstaedt, was "running along the street, grabbing any and every girl in …
CA-52 West Blocked by Elephant as La Jollans Attempt to Stop Obama's Fundraising Visit
President Obama's scheduled $5000-a-plate lunchtime fundraiser today at the La Jolla home of Elizabeth and Mason Phelps may be in jeopardy. The President's planned motorcade route, leaked last night on 4chan, was set to take him from Marine Corps Air …
GLAAD Calls Reader "San Diego's Most Gay-Friendly Alternative Weekly"
Gay-Rights Organization Singles Out Paper for Praise In Wake of SDGLN's Numerous Difficulties With San Diego CityBeat "Say what you will; the Reader never uses 'faggy' in its editorial content." SIPPING A LATTE AT THE CORNER TABLE IN LESTAT'S ON …
Top Gun Remake to Do Away with Homoerotic Subtext, Raise Homoeroticism to Level of Text
Film to Receive Full Cooperation of San Diego-based Naval Operations As Part of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Replacement Program, "Show and Tell." "We have most definitely not lost that lovin' feeling." When the word came down that a Top Gun …
Talk to the Invisible Hand: Che Cafe Comes Face to Face with Economic Realities
Reports the Union-Tribune: "If student and volunteer operators cannot raise enough money to pay the annual insurance premium due in the spring, UCSD's iconic Ché Café, a haven for leftist politics and counterculture, will be forced to close." "Score one …
Controversy at USD: AFFIRM or DENY?
As Reader writer Dave Rice recently reported, the University of San Diego has just received $600,000 from the National Science Foundation so that it might "increase the number of female professors, particularly females of minority origin, in science, technology, engineering, …
Chargers Coach Norv Turner: "I'm The Only Trickster God This Team Needs, Thank You Very Much."
During the press conference following his team's devastating, turnover-rich loss to the New England Patriots, San Diego Chargers Coach Norv Turner took time to say that "in retrospect, backup punter and wannabe-prankster Mike Scifres' decision to grease Philip Rivers' hand …
San Diego School District Offers "Whooping Colony" Classroom for Unvaccinated Students
Plan Would Allow Unvaccinated Students to Receive Education, Impecunious District to Receive Funds "They may be unclean, but they're still human. And we're still out of money." Following last year's spike in statewide instances of the potentially deadly infection known …
Hispanic Hipsters Celebrate Mexican Dependence Day
All over San Diego this weekend, celebrations are planned to mark the anniversary of Mexican Independence Day, culminating with El Festival del Grito at the Del Mar Fairgrounds on Sunday. The festival will see performances from such Mexican musical superstars …
Chargers Coach Norv Turner Has Yet to Emerge From Mountain Retreat
Turner was last seen approaching the entrance on his knees, wearing only his headset and a Chargers-branded loincloth. Mercurial Leader Presumably Still Attempting to Discern What the Universe is Trying to Tell Him Following Twin Tragedies of Yielded Opening Kickoff …
Accused Sex Crimes Detective Responds to Sexual Harrassment Allegations
SPECIAL GUEST COLUMN: Detective Edward Fletes, accused by fellow detective Deborah Burger of creating an "intimidating and hostile work environment charged with offensive sexual comments, slurs, innuendos, emails, [and] photos" within the SDPD Sex Crimes Unit, issues a response. Fletes …