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Statement from University President Morris "Mo" Munni: "The University of California at San Diego has always prided itself as one of the foremost educational institutions in the nation when it comes to research. Specifically, research into effective moneymaking initiatives. We pioneered innovative programs in fee extraction and gradual tuition-hike therapies, and combined them with traditional brand-leveraging prestige models to lend perceived value to an increasingly unapplicable undergraduate degree. On Wall Street, that kind of turnaround would be hailed as near-miraculous. But in the field of education, it is met with complaint and cries of 'What about the students?'
"Well, what about them? This kind of moneymaking research, even if it turns out to be wildly profitable in the long run, doesn't come cheap. It requires significant start-up capital, capital that must be extracted from gullible students who imagine that the University exists for their sake. It's an absurd notion, akin to imaginging that Facebook exists for the sake of its users - as opposed to its stockholders. Yes, we absolutely need our students here at UCSD, just like a car needs gasoline. But gasoline is not the point of a car. The point of a car is to take University administrators to the airport, so that they may fly to academic conferences in beautiful foreign countries and indulge in luxuries undreamed of by the great kings of old."
Statement from University President Morris "Mo" Munni: "The University of California at San Diego has always prided itself as one of the foremost educational institutions in the nation when it comes to research. Specifically, research into effective moneymaking initiatives. We pioneered innovative programs in fee extraction and gradual tuition-hike therapies, and combined them with traditional brand-leveraging prestige models to lend perceived value to an increasingly unapplicable undergraduate degree. On Wall Street, that kind of turnaround would be hailed as near-miraculous. But in the field of education, it is met with complaint and cries of 'What about the students?'
"Well, what about them? This kind of moneymaking research, even if it turns out to be wildly profitable in the long run, doesn't come cheap. It requires significant start-up capital, capital that must be extracted from gullible students who imagine that the University exists for their sake. It's an absurd notion, akin to imaginging that Facebook exists for the sake of its users - as opposed to its stockholders. Yes, we absolutely need our students here at UCSD, just like a car needs gasoline. But gasoline is not the point of a car. The point of a car is to take University administrators to the airport, so that they may fly to academic conferences in beautiful foreign countries and indulge in luxuries undreamed of by the great kings of old."