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Almost Factual News Entries for September, 2012

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China Vista?

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Chula Vista Bayfront Redevelopment Project Seeks Foreign Investment, Sends Envoys to China Mayor: "They wouldn't own the land, just the buildings and stuff." Leaked photo rendering of proposal causes "concern" among some city officials, but seriously, what could go wrong? …

Across the unbridgeable gulf: Christian pastor partners with satanic porn producer

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In the recently released DVD Satan's Sinful Sluts Vol. 10, the latest film from local porn company Meatbucket Films, a character dressed as a priest reads aloud from St. Paul's letter to the Galatians: "For he that sows to his …

San Diego Film Festival opens with locally based remake of 1954 classic On the Waterfront

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A Mayoral Candidate - Struggling to Keep His Honor! A Media Mogul - Who Will Stop at Nothing! A Real-Estate Developer - With a Stranglehold on the City! A Professional Football Franchise - That Might Leave Town! They All Have …

Lil' Pimping

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Veteran San Diego Pimp Unite to Decries Proposition 35, But Also Decries Child Sex Trafficking "If you outlaw pimping, then only outlaws will be pimps." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/24/32104/ DOWNTOWN, A LITTLE AFTER 2 A.M., JUST LOOKING FOR SOME COMPANY - "Like the …

Romney Blasts California

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Republican Presidential Candidate Holds Del Mar Fundraiser, Blasts United States and California as Being on Pathway to Become More Like Europe "But not the good old Europe, with the lords and vassals and stuff. The modern Europe, the one that's …

Chargers

Seven (Sun)days of Darkness?

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As Punishment for Lukewarm Fan Support, Coach-Provocateur Norv Turner Vows to Lose Every Blacked-Out Home Game "If you can't be bothered to show up, neither can we." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/24/32098/ DRIVING PAST QUALCOMM STADIUM ON THE WAY TO THE BEACH - A …

Too much unity in diversity?

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Consortium of male Caucasian academics files grievance against UC Board of Regents after appointment of African-American woman to lucrative equity, diversity, and inclusion post. Plaintiffs demand special minority consideration as members of the patriarchy. "There just aren't that many of …

Norv Turner retires!

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Famed Coach-Provocateur ends run as head coach, hints at possible return as offensive coordinator. "I'm ending things on a high note. We're undefeated, we beat the our arch-rivals the Raiders, and Antonio Gates hasn't missed a single game due to …

Citing poor ticket sales, Mayoral candidates warn of possible television blackout for debates.

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Despite massive PR push, San Diegans fail to sell out Convention Center's Hall H. "It's Your Future" Ad Campaign Produces Public Shrugs: "It's not like they're telling us what's going to happen on the next episode of The Walking Dead." …

U-T San Diego buys SD on the QT

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Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a swell run here at the Reader. And heaven knows, I've enjoyed occasionally poking fun at Papa Doug Manchester and John Lynch, two sterling businessmen who, as of noon today, will assume full ownership …

9.11.12 Truthers demand independent inquiry into 9.11 Memorial vandalism in Pacific Beach

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Citing Conveniently Disappearing Witness and Other Curious Factors, Skeptics Are Quick to Question Official Account "Last time, they found an easy scapegoat in Muslim extremists. This time, it's drunken vandals. Because who's going to believe a drunken vandal when he …

Madden(ing)!

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NFL Donates $30 Million to Federal Brain Research in Exchange for Removal of "Concussion" Feature from Madden '13 Video Game UCSD Researcher: "We need the money more than the game needs that level of reality." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/10/31223/ LIGHTING A CANDLE IN …

Sometimes, "really" really means "literally."

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Health officials warn that diners in College Area Wal-Mart McDonald's may have been exposed to "really crappy food." Also, Hepatitis A. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/10/31213/

Okay, last one...

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These really are getting silly. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/07/31096/

In other other news...

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While we're at it: It's nice to see another reporter beginning to understand the real Norv Turner. Welcome aboard the crazy train, Mr. Calkins. Should be a fun ride this year. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/07/31085/

"Museum Parkour" fundraising event for Friends of Balboa Park goes horribly awry.

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Flash Mob Seeking to Undo Damage Done by Flash Mob Does Even More Damage than the Original Police Chief Bozo McTripp: "We'll get to the bottom of this, even if it means shutting down the Penny Saver for running ads …

Items seized during Balboa water-gun war investigation.

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A judge has released lists of items found during the investigation of a water-gun battle that caused structural damage to Balboa Park's Lily Pond on August 12. The cars and home and toy chest of event organizer Matthew Hardick were …

In other news...

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Here at SD on the QT, we try to restrict ourselves to the fascinating world of local news, but every now and then, our local news organ serves up a national headline that proves too delightful to resist... http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/05/30945/ Former …

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