Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Anonymous Takes Credit for Lifted Lorax Statue

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/mar/28/21751/

LA JOLLA - Authorities made a breakthrough today in their search for the thieves who stole the Lorax statue from in front of Dr. Seuss widow Audrey Geisel's luxurious oceanfront home.

"Whoever took the statue left a weird sort of platform behind in its place," explained La Jolla Police Detective Wilberforce Throckmorton. "One of the platform's stones was marked with the word "unless," and upon further inspection, it was revealed that this stone was in fact hollow and made from cast concrete. Inside, we found a note which gives us our first real understanding of the motivation behind this heinous crime."

SD on the QT has obtained a copy of the note, and is happy to bring its readers an exclusive peek into this ongoing investigation:

We are Anonymous, you stupid old get

We do not forgive and we do not forget

And we sure as hell do not stand idly by

While you make all your husband’s admirers cry.

Dr. Seuss was a genius, but you are a troll

Did we steal a statue? What about what you stole?

His honor, integrity - dignity, too

A bright, shining legacy, covered in poo.

The Lorax made children aware of the earth

Its beautiful, fragile, intrinsic worth

But you sold it out for a CGI flick

That made saving trees just a gift for a chick.

Horton, the Grinch, and the Cat in the Hat

We let them all slide, and we regret that

But The Lorax? His masterpiece? We’re sorry, but no

We’re calling a stop to this big sellout show.

We speak for the Lorax, who spoke for the trees

He’s been lifted away from your cruel vagaries

Unless you wise up, and we doubt that you will

Your chances of seeing this Lorax are nil.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

San Diego Dim Sum Tour, Warwick’s Holiday Open House

Events November 24-November 27, 2024
Next Article

Pie pleasure at Queenstown Public House

A taste of New Zealand brings back happy memories

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/mar/28/21751/

LA JOLLA - Authorities made a breakthrough today in their search for the thieves who stole the Lorax statue from in front of Dr. Seuss widow Audrey Geisel's luxurious oceanfront home.

"Whoever took the statue left a weird sort of platform behind in its place," explained La Jolla Police Detective Wilberforce Throckmorton. "One of the platform's stones was marked with the word "unless," and upon further inspection, it was revealed that this stone was in fact hollow and made from cast concrete. Inside, we found a note which gives us our first real understanding of the motivation behind this heinous crime."

SD on the QT has obtained a copy of the note, and is happy to bring its readers an exclusive peek into this ongoing investigation:

We are Anonymous, you stupid old get

We do not forgive and we do not forget

And we sure as hell do not stand idly by

While you make all your husband’s admirers cry.

Dr. Seuss was a genius, but you are a troll

Did we steal a statue? What about what you stole?

His honor, integrity - dignity, too

A bright, shining legacy, covered in poo.

The Lorax made children aware of the earth

Its beautiful, fragile, intrinsic worth

But you sold it out for a CGI flick

That made saving trees just a gift for a chick.

Horton, the Grinch, and the Cat in the Hat

We let them all slide, and we regret that

But The Lorax? His masterpiece? We’re sorry, but no

We’re calling a stop to this big sellout show.

We speak for the Lorax, who spoke for the trees

He’s been lifted away from your cruel vagaries

Unless you wise up, and we doubt that you will

Your chances of seeing this Lorax are nil.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

The Lorax Leaves La Jolla: Seuss stand-in skedaddles after San Diego scored sixth smoggiest city in nation

Neighbors react: “Will he take those stinky sea lions with him?”
Next Article

Seuss-SNAFUS!

Mayor accidentally reads wartime propaganda of famous children's author at birthday celebration.
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader