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Almost Factual News Entries for August, 2012

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Hilton management caves to worker's-rights advocates, installs new employee break rooms in Mission Valley hotel.

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Following exposure of attempt to sabotage meeting exposing unfair labor practices, hotel throws a conciliatory bone to the public-relations dog. "We want the public to know that Hilton means hospitality. Even for those who work here." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/31/30610/

Strong Mayor declares August 24, 2012 "CityBeat Day."

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San Diego CityBeat reports that Gerry Braun, Strong Mayor's manager of special projects, was fortunate enough to attend San Diego CityBeat's 10th Anniversary Party a while back. While he was there, he read a congratulatory declaration of August 24, 2012 …

Democratic San Diego mayoral candidate Bob Filner trampled after horrible pun about murderous elephant.

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Following death of zoo worker crushed for making bad pun about newborn elephant, herd leader and new mama Swazi crushes Democrat Filner for bad joke about her own sweet self. "Clearly, she's a Republican. First, because she's an elephant, and …

Zoo worker trampled after horrible pun about newborn elephant.

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Elephant caretaker crushed by herd leader and new mama Swazi after making terrible pun to visiting mayoral candidates. "At long last, we can all stop worrying about the elephant in the womb." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/29/30477/

Grisly.

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NPR journalist asks Denali Park superintendent about images from San Diego photographer's last moments prior to fatal grizzly bear attack. Show, don't tell? WINCING - Yesterday, NPR's "All Things Considered" decided to live up to its name, as co-host Melissa …

Strong Mayor to run pro-gay marriage ad during Republican Convention!

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Recently, Strong Mayor squeezed into his best pair of denim cutoff shorts and headed down to the waterfront to urge his fellow Republicans to join cuddly teddy bears like Dick Cheney in supporting marriage equality: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/27/30339/ But sources point to …

Swarm of earthquakes in no way related to blasting during construction of massive drug tunnel by Sinaloa cartel, assures Sinaloa cartel.

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Series of minor quakes in Brawley region almost certainly the result of totally natural causes, say cartel sources, since nothing unusual is going out out there in the desert, certainly not any kind of subterranean construction project designed to facilitate …

As part of 10-year celebration, SanDiegoCityBeat dings Reader cover stories.

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From Ms. Beak's "San Diego Munch" column on "10 media vampires that should have been spiked long ago": "9. Reader cover stories. OK, we get it. They are different. Quirky. But after all these years of staking out the esoteric …

In other news...

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Sometimes, SD on the QT has to bow to the master headline writers over at U-T San Diego... http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/24/30239/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/24/30240/

Special guest columnist: La Jolla society matron weighs in on Prop. 30.

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http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/22/30136/ Today, SD on the QT welcomes Mrs. Regina Snoot, Chairwoman of the La Jolla Ladies Who Lunch club. Mrs. Snoot recently attended a speech given by Governor Jerry Brown here in San Diego on behalf of Proposition 30. The …

Padres' recent win a stumble in race for cellar.

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Hapless hometown team accidentally beats San Francisco, remains five games out of last place. Prime position for next year's draft now in jeopardy; Colorado poised to pluck primo player pick. Fan: "Geez, these bums can't even lose right." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/20/29952/ Photo: …

Southwest High School announces new athletic mascot.

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Heads up, South Bay: the Dirty Bastards are coming! ODB may no longer be in the house, but he is very much on the field in San Diego's Sweetwater School District. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/20/29949/ School spirit: Southwest High senior Brandon Gleb models …

Megadeth's Dave Mustaine dies in "errant" drone attack mishap.

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Fallbrook-Based Rocker Escaped President's "Moral Quarantine" on San Diego in Wake of Aurora Shooting, But Was Unable to Elude Obama's Notorious "Oopsie" Drones Prez Sez: "Of course it was a mistake. Why would we send drones to attack Singapore? Mr. …

Pond Scum: A Political Poem

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http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/16/29757/ No Champagne Spills for Them What Lacks Campaign Skills! Filner (Bob) Bobbles Job, Seeks PR cover After blaming gay lover Of GOP pick For water-gun fight Last Saturday night. Says "This city's sick Of transgressive rags Owned by, um, …

Don't Touch that Dial!

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La Jolla Citizen's Committee Mobilizes in Opposition to Restrictions on Energy Use Spokesman: "The day I can't run my home ice-cream parlor, keep my 12,000-square-foot house at 66 degrees, and run the auto-chiller on my pool is the day the …

Optimist Club

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As Drought Grips Nation, San Diego County Water Authority Remains Unconcerned About News that Sweetwater Reservoir is at Fifty Percent Capacity "We Prefer to See the Reservoir as Half Full." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/10/29461/ "Hey, Henshaw is at seven percent. We're doing fine. …

O'Malley Family Buys Padres, Announces Team Move to Los Angeles

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Longtime Owners of Los Angeles Dodgers Ease the Pain of Failed Bid for Reacquisition by Buying Small-Market Neighbor and Moving it Right Next Door. "Hey, we did it to Brooklyn; why should San Diego be any different?" Commissioner Selig: "Maybe …

What Edwin Decker Saw

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...at the San Diego Pride Festival: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/09/29420/ What Edwin Decker didn't see at the San Diego Pride Festival: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/aug/09/29421/ Better luck next time, Mr. Decker.

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