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Protest Movement Finds Plenty to Protest Over Chai Lattes
"When the revolution comes, there will be no wi-fi. Until then..."
WAITING IN LINE FOR AN OVERPRICED COFFEE-RELATED BEVERAGE - Occupy San Diego, the San Diego-based offshoot of the Occupy Wall Street movement to protest corporate malfeasance and general douchebaggery, today decided to move its base of operations into a College Area Starbucks.
"The move makes sense on several levels," said OSD organizer Levi "Lefty" Ledbetter. "First, Starbucks represents the insidious creep of corporate hegemony better than just about anybody else. I mean, when Wal-Mart comes to town and starts destroying local businesses by undercutting prices, people notice. They complain. Sometimes, they even manage to stop the madness, or at least hold it at bay. But Starbucks? Starbucks opens up across the street from a local, established coffee shop, and nobody makes a peep. Four months later, the local joint is shuttered, everybody's buying Starbucks' more expensive, crappier product, and all the profits are headed out of the community and up to Seattle."
Second, said Ledbetter, "it's a great place to get the word out. Lots of people coming in and out, many of them with a few minutes to stop and listen to our irrefutable reasoning about why they should join us in rising up against the one percent."
And third, "it's a pretty comfortable place to be. There's good seating, and nice lighting, and of course, wi-fi. If you're going to organize a movement these days, you've got to be online."
Store Manager Gerald Fitzler admitted that the presence of the protestors had caused some logistical difficulties. "Sometimes, they try to stay in one spot for more than three hours without making an additional purchase - even if it's just a refill on their soy frippery shake. But I called corporate about procedure, and you know, those guys are all about the counterculture. So we're letting them camp out, basically. Plus, they really like to drink coffee - sales are through the roof. I've had to hire extra staff. In a small way, we're helping to rebuild the economy right here, together."
Protest Movement Finds Plenty to Protest Over Chai Lattes
"When the revolution comes, there will be no wi-fi. Until then..."
WAITING IN LINE FOR AN OVERPRICED COFFEE-RELATED BEVERAGE - Occupy San Diego, the San Diego-based offshoot of the Occupy Wall Street movement to protest corporate malfeasance and general douchebaggery, today decided to move its base of operations into a College Area Starbucks.
"The move makes sense on several levels," said OSD organizer Levi "Lefty" Ledbetter. "First, Starbucks represents the insidious creep of corporate hegemony better than just about anybody else. I mean, when Wal-Mart comes to town and starts destroying local businesses by undercutting prices, people notice. They complain. Sometimes, they even manage to stop the madness, or at least hold it at bay. But Starbucks? Starbucks opens up across the street from a local, established coffee shop, and nobody makes a peep. Four months later, the local joint is shuttered, everybody's buying Starbucks' more expensive, crappier product, and all the profits are headed out of the community and up to Seattle."
Second, said Ledbetter, "it's a great place to get the word out. Lots of people coming in and out, many of them with a few minutes to stop and listen to our irrefutable reasoning about why they should join us in rising up against the one percent."
And third, "it's a pretty comfortable place to be. There's good seating, and nice lighting, and of course, wi-fi. If you're going to organize a movement these days, you've got to be online."
Store Manager Gerald Fitzler admitted that the presence of the protestors had caused some logistical difficulties. "Sometimes, they try to stay in one spot for more than three hours without making an additional purchase - even if it's just a refill on their soy frippery shake. But I called corporate about procedure, and you know, those guys are all about the counterculture. So we're letting them camp out, basically. Plus, they really like to drink coffee - sales are through the roof. I've had to hire extra staff. In a small way, we're helping to rebuild the economy right here, together."