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Almost Factual News Entries for July, 2011

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SD on the QT Exclusive: First Photos of Nuclear Waste Trucks En Route from San Onofre to Utah

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IN A BOMB SHELTER BELOW ONE OF THOSE BIG OLD HOUSES IN MISSION HILLS - Southern California Edison has made a point of not publicizing the planned route for the super-long trucks assigned to carry four massive, radioactive steam generators …

Not Just Blowing Smoke: Pro-Pot Advocates Sway City Council

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Special Closed-Door Hearing Yields Totally Excellent Results "In short, Councilpeople, those restrictions on medical marijuana dispensaries are bogus." "Agreed." Related.

The Amazing Spider-Man Actor Calls Comic-Con Attendees "Sad Parodies of Themselves"

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Welsh actor Rhys Ifans, who plays villain in upcoming superhero pic, tears into fans at standing-room-only panel. This "Lizard" really is cold-blooded! Much has been made of Rhys Ifans' booze-boosted confrontation with Comic-Con security over the weekend, and of his …

Who Plays Who: Premiere of Cowboys & Aliens at Comic-Con 2011

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Joan Crawford once said she was "always an outsider" in the movie business. Olivia Wilde calls her character in Cowboys & Aliens "an outsider...not really part of the town." In High Noon, Gary Cooper plays a man who defends the …

SB 48: Gays Make History!

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Senate Bill 48, recently signed into law by Governor Jerry Brown, mandates that gays, lesbians, and the transgendered be included into historical accounts of California and the United States. "At last," commented California Teacher's Association President Dean Vogel, "the contributions …

Congresswoman Susan Davis: "Let's Pretend You Have a Representative Government."

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Congresswoman Susan Davis challenged San Diegans to balance the federal budget at a public meeting earlier this week at San Diego State. “I think that people get very frustrated when they hear about government's inability to hammer out a deal …

Pride Parade Goeth Before Them All. Wrath Next? Greed?

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Hillcrest Looks Forward to Remaining Six "Capital Parades." Will Sloth Bother to Show Up? CONCRETE AGENDA BUNKER BENEATH THE CENTER, HILLCREST - The 2011 Pride Parade is history now, and by all accounts, it was a smash success. From gay …

Proud Pride Sponsors at 2011 Parade

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PARADE AFTERMATH, UNIVERSITY AVENUE - "Forward-thinking companies like Vons, Albertson's, AT&T, and Hewlett-Packard have been supporters of the Pride Parade for years," says Susie Drummond, Chair of San Diego LGBT Pride for 2011. "But, sadly, they haven't managed to capitalize …

Strong Mayor vs. Team Council!

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The Epic Struggle for the Fabled Midyear Budget Adjustment! Related.

Uncovering the Mystery

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Coronado Police Say Nudity "Definitely a Factor" in Death of Lissome, Exotic Beauty Living in Home of Wealthy, Powerful Man "No. Clothes. At. All." CORONADO, AMERICA'S CAPITAL OF SEXY INTRIGUE - Investigators are still investigating the death of 32-year-old Rebecca …

The Last Blockbuster of Summer...

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There's a new superhero in town...and he's out to defeat that moneygrubbing monster known as Brown! But he can only do it with your help! Related.

Royal Blowout!

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SD on the QT Exclusive! Unpublished News of the World Photos of William & Kate's Tijuana Escapade! "Pippa who?" PINING FOR THE GLORY DAYS OF FLEET STREET - Much has been made of the effortless glamour and understated charm exhibited …

"From my cold, dead hands."

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Imperial Beach Councilman Brian P. Bilbray Responds to Federal Government's Threat to Crack Down on Medical Marijuana. Related.

Arevalos Ascendant

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Photo at left: Arevalos on CBS Channel 8 News [This is the second entry in SD on the QT's week-long "Instant Justice" series. The first entry is here.] Disgraced and Dismissed SDPD Officer Reinstated and Given Commendation Following Success of …

Panda Fingered in Zoo Arson Case

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Bear Caught on Security Camera Footage Was Allegedly Distraught Over Selection of Franklin Park Zoo as Setting for Hit Movie Zookeeper. "It should have been us!" Zhen Zhen: "a typical teenage panda" or a dangerous sociopath? PEEKING THROUGH THE BAMBOO …

Tijuana Police Chief: SDPD Willing to "Learn from the Experts"

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[This is the first entry in SD on the QT's week-long "Instant Justice" series.] New Program Would Allow Errant Motorists to Give Government Alms and Get On Home "A fine? That's fine!" The practice of la mordida -- "the bite" …

Picture Story: Improvements Seen in Mexico-U.S. Trade Relations

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[Pictured: Evidence of U.S. products having circulated through Mexican economy.] Related.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: "There is absolutely nothing going on at Balboa Park's House of Iran."

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"I mean, why would you even ask such a question," continued Ahmadinejad. "But sadly, no - Park authorities may not conduct their annual walkthrough this year."

Hey!

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Dear Dorian Hargrove, No fair taking the best comedy headlines for the News Ticker blog. http://www.sandiegoreader.com/weblogs/news-ticker/2011/jul/06/audit-finds-waste-in-countys-animal-services-contr/ Waste in the Animal Services department? Who'da thunk it? Sincerely, Walter Mencken

IKEA Mission Valley Clarifies its No Solicitation Policy

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Unless, of course, you are cute, blonde, and gathering signatures in support of gay marriage. We are not, after all, barbarians here.

Sweet Lovin'?

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Local Biomedical Company Creates Sexually Transmitted Diabetes "Helloooo, funding!" COWERING IN A HAZMAT SUIT, SOMEWHERE IN SORRENTO VALLEY - In a move that seems destined to upset fans of unprotected, non-monogamous sex, Biomedical development company Pathogenesis today announced that it …

Who Plays Who: City Pension 401(k) Battle Edition

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On Boston Legal, James Spader played Alan Shore, an attorney who was skilled at cloaking his more dubious maneuvers with righteousness. Lincoln Club President T.J. Zane claims that firefighters protesting the petition to phase out city pensions in favor of …

14 Dead: Is Fair Foul?

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Runaway popularity of new Deep-Fried Jello Shots helps 2011 San Diego County Fair shatter previous Fair's death toll record. You can't keep a good man down. But you can keep a fat man eating grease and pounding booze until his …

Downtown San Diego Destroyed in Great Sparkler Fire of 2011

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Frustrated Citizens Attempt to Replace Scotched Fireworks Displays with Small-Scale Legal Alternative, Instead Cause Massive Conflagration as Over One Million Sparklers Combine to Form Deadly Yet Spectacular Blaze At least the water is still clean. WE SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO …

Something in the (Sweet)water?

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Scandals Continue to Rock School District; Book-Fencing Honors English Teacher Provides Latest Aftershock. The New "Dirty South"? HIGH ON A SOAPBOX, CHULA VISTA. Is there nothing the gang down in Sweetwater won't do? First the grade corrections. Then the meals …

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