Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

New U-T President Hodges: "We want everyone to be fired...up to come in here."

KNOCKING VERY HARD ON WOOD, SAN DIEGO READER OFFICES - Speaking to the entire terrified staff at the San Diego Whatta-Maroon today, new President and Grand Inquisitor Mickey Hedges said that he wanted to "create an environment and a space to allow the creativity and the passion that is in all of us to come out on the page. Doing that will undoubtedly mean a lot of spilled blood - er, ink. We want people to feel like they're working at Facebook or Google, places that are swimming in venture capital and cultural buzz. If you have to take prescription medication to detach from reality completely enough to get that feeling, then go ahead. We want everyone to be fired...up to come in here."

The new new Whatta-Maroon, said Hedges, "will be a progressive place, a place not bound to ancient concepts like 'news' or 'paper.' And it will be a place where you can turn first to find out what's going on in San Diego. That film girl, Alison Gang, for instance. We'll be asking her to tweet her reviews in real time, as she watches the film. There is simply no sense in waiting for something as slow and outdated as a blog post, a thing which may not arrive for hours or even days. Ditto food critic Keli Dailey. Is the waiter taking too long to refill your water glass? Let us know! Now, dammit! 'Tweet tweet' is the new 'Chop chop!'"

A visibly shaken Gang was then led from the conference room for media reprogramming therapy, but was allowed to take a bagel with lox and cream cheese from the breakfast buffet on her way out.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

The Fellini of Clairemont High

When gang showers were standard for gym class
Next Article

Two poems by Marvin Bell

“To Dorothy” and “The Self and the Mulberry”

KNOCKING VERY HARD ON WOOD, SAN DIEGO READER OFFICES - Speaking to the entire terrified staff at the San Diego Whatta-Maroon today, new President and Grand Inquisitor Mickey Hedges said that he wanted to "create an environment and a space to allow the creativity and the passion that is in all of us to come out on the page. Doing that will undoubtedly mean a lot of spilled blood - er, ink. We want people to feel like they're working at Facebook or Google, places that are swimming in venture capital and cultural buzz. If you have to take prescription medication to detach from reality completely enough to get that feeling, then go ahead. We want everyone to be fired...up to come in here."

The new new Whatta-Maroon, said Hedges, "will be a progressive place, a place not bound to ancient concepts like 'news' or 'paper.' And it will be a place where you can turn first to find out what's going on in San Diego. That film girl, Alison Gang, for instance. We'll be asking her to tweet her reviews in real time, as she watches the film. There is simply no sense in waiting for something as slow and outdated as a blog post, a thing which may not arrive for hours or even days. Ditto food critic Keli Dailey. Is the waiter taking too long to refill your water glass? Let us know! Now, dammit! 'Tweet tweet' is the new 'Chop chop!'"

A visibly shaken Gang was then led from the conference room for media reprogramming therapy, but was allowed to take a bagel with lox and cream cheese from the breakfast buffet on her way out.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Papa's Got A Brand New Rag

Next Article

Review: The Hunger Games

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader