towelheadedcameljockey is a Reader contributor. See staff page for published articles.
< Previous Next >
Goodbye, Ol' Girl
Where is Remote Control King article located online (what section)? I have to actually type "Ollie" in search bar to bring up your past stories and that's how I locate the current Remote Control King. I've tried looking under "Stories" but can't find anything with this title. I've looked under "first person", "reviews" and "oddities". I even went as far to look under "news" and "foods" but still nothing.— June 26, 2008 2:36 p.m.
100 Greatest Stand-Up Comics Ever
There is no excuse why Gaffigan shouldn't be on this list, somewhere, anywhere. "You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then at that point it changes and you're like, 'I did that. I changed the traffic in the city... I have a lot of power.'"— June 25, 2008 2:50 p.m.
The Biggest Waste of Money Ever
I would imagine that the insurance company who carries their liability requires these steps when an incident occurs. When it then occurs more then once, they have to take bigger (and more asinine) steps to believe they're not going to let this happen again. The insane part is everyone has to know none of this will make a difference. If someone's is an idiot and thinks they can get away with relations with their students and are willing to jeopardize they're job, life, everything, then there is no convincing them otherwise. It's like on Datelines "To Catch A Predator". When the guy approaching the house even senses this is a set up they still go through with it. I've even seen one where the guy heard the cops walkie-talkie go off, so he left, but only circled the block and then came back. Once they're in the zone, they're in the zone. On the art, it brings this to mine - Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her polo shirt is real. My stick figures never pulled in much money. I now know I was going the wrong route. Damn it.— June 25, 2008 2:37 p.m.
Rapper's Delight (when they diss others)
Just watched the video. I wish you could hear my laughter now. I was always surprised when I'd hear buzz around Shaq's album, or a few of his tracks, saying they were halfway decent. Personally, I can't get over the novelty that he's Shaq. Plus, he doesn't try to come in the rap game as a rapper without using "I'm Shaq" as a crutch. I watched this dis on youtube. Not really much on Kobe besides "Last week Kobe couldn't do it without me" and a quick line about his divorce (which he cleverly rhymes with horse), followed by a lame repetition of "tell me how my a** taste". I'm confused by the headlines popping up everywhere that "Shaq shreds apart Kobe in rap". These are more adult-language-mother-goose-dance-to-this-rhymes then anything near a rip. He also takes a quick jab at Patrick Ewing, talking about how "nobody in the world do it bigger then me, that's like Patrick Ewing having more rings then me". I think there is something about Abdul Jabar in there too, but can't make it out. One thing I can assure you, Shaq doesn't have ghost writers. I think the icing on the cake is the lyrics where again, he's pointing out that "Nobody can do it bigger then me" including "that's like a homeless man having more figures then me". TAKE THAT HOMELESS MAN.— June 24, 2008 12:36 p.m.
50 Cent, Britney Spears, and Axl Rose (hey, this sounds like a Jay Sanford blog)
This whole blog makes my head sing "Americaaaaa, f******k yeaaaaaaaa". A douchebag is worshipped. Rappers got beef with beef. Celebrities bodyguards are straight out the WWE. Gravy.— June 23, 2008 2:57 p.m.
How Far Would You Travel For a Concert?
When I was a kid I got tickets to go to Lollapalooza wanting badly to see Primus and Alice In Chains. Went with a friend who's dad drove us. Don't think he knew what we were getting into until we got there. He told us he'd pick us up at 7pm, now that I look back on it, we were probably lucky he gave us that. We told him that was too early, beggin for a later time. He wasn't having it, and the parent won the battle and we missed both bands I wanted to see. I was so bummed when I got home and told my mom the story. She bought tickets for the next night of the tour which was happening 2 states away (a 9 hour drive) and she drove me down so I could catch the show. So mom made the farthest show happen for me. As an adult I've gone to Vegas to catch a few shows, especially because I love the sound quality of one of the larger venues out there. I'd also easily travel to LA for someone. Anything beyond a 3 hour drive would really have to be worth my while. Front row (or near) for someone I absolutley love and wasn't sick of seeing. Luckily, so many tours come through LA thats not something I have to deal with. If I had tons of bread, I would have flown to London for that Zeppelin gig. But if I had tons of bread, traveling for a show would be part of the fun for many bands.— June 23, 2008 2:53 p.m.
100 Greatest Stand-Up Comics Ever
Ahmed Ahmed is a pretty well known Arab comedian who does well in the industry, he was actually in Iron Man (the character he played was named Ahmed). There was a comedy special which aired on Comedy Central called "Axis of Evil Tour" that had Ahmed Ahmed and a couple other Arabs and a Persian on it. It was pretty disappointing though although the guys did have workable material. You've got Chris Rock all wrong. He's HILARIOUS. To complain about black comedians working off their "blackness" is also a bit ridiculous. Comedians all seem to work off one thing or another. White guys do the white guy thing (watch "White Boyz In The Hood" and see how many of them work off "the white factor"). Latins, Asians, Whites, Blacks, Arabs, women, men, even the handicap, EVERYONE uses some material (or an abundance) of material which work off of who they are or what culture (or gender) they were born as/into. Chris Rock goes on about several subjects and is actually damn hilarious when doing so. If he was any other race and had the same energy I think he'd be listed as number 5. Funny is funny.— June 21, 2008 1:56 p.m.
If You Sue Me, I Can't Be Your Physician
It's good to hear he decided not to follow through with the suit. People always want to put blame on someone for things which are not necessarily human error.— June 13, 2008 3:46 p.m.
The Jury System
The problem is there will always be a problem with any system. It's comparable to when innocent people get convicted for crimes they did not commit. There's always going to be that small percentage of error. With that said, I think the system we have in place right now could use some fine tuning.— June 13, 2008 11:45 a.m.
Service at Restaurants
Someone really has to screw up for me to not want to tip them. Big time. In fact, it's only happened one time where I agreed the person did not deserve a tip. In California, waiters and bartenders make CA minimum wage which is $8 an hour I believe. I know this is nothing spectacular BUT it sure beats out a lot of other states (most of the east coast) that only get paid around $2.50 an hour (minimum wage for service industry such as wait staff and those who get tips). I also believe Arizona doesn't pay well, if anything to their hourly employees who make tips.— June 13, 2008 11:28 a.m.