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New Jersey transplants thrust into custody battle in Oceanside

To "Howard Jackson": now is the time, while she is back in CA with your daughter and presumably she feels a bit guilty and you are getting along, to draw up a mutually agreed to Modified Custody Agreement and Order. The family law center at the clerk's office has a department that will help you do this free of charge if you cannot afford an attorney. The forms to do this are available online. CHANGE the current custody situation giving YOU physical custody solely, with joint parental responsibility. Tell her you will continue with support payments and are not asking that anything really change except when she goes into rehab (and I am sure she is still telling you that she plans on going...so play along) you will need to be able to make educational and medical decisions for your daughter. She knows, or should know, that initially there is no contact allowed with family or friend in rehab so she would not be available to sign anything, make parental decisions, etc. Makes sense right? Nothing threatening just making it easier to ensure your daughter's needs are always met. This also makes California the new state of jurisdiction for your custody arrangement, not New Jersey where the original Order was signed. An important legal fact should she try to dip out again. Further, in the future should she and you not get along it will be up to you who Sophia lives with. Clearly, while it is not easy to raise a child as a single parent, you are the better choice to parent your daughter at this time. So while you are getting along, put it in writing and make it legally binding. So often people wait until there is trouble before they take these precautions, when I used to always tell my clients to reduce your joint agreements to writing WHILE you are getting along and want to be fair and do what is best for the children involved. Do it before there is a new boyfriend. Best of luck.
— April 10, 2009 1 p.m.

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