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Furry Children
Well, well, well, if it isn't the Trail Mix Gang. A loose collection of nuts and fruits. And hey- call Viacom! Somebody read 'Internet Bullying for Dummies' to them. You don't want to meet their ringleader, SDaniels, unless you have Van Helsing on speed dial. As for Pistol Pete? Obsessed- the Air Force thinks- with Bullwinkle the Moose. His arch-nemesis. Yeah. A dedication for Rebecca: U2 Zoo Station Live, Zoo TV Tour, Detroit, Michigan 1993 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArXIiDRRO4s— November 10, 2009 7:23 p.m.
Furry Children
Veronica watched him with growing dread. Sure enough, he took a right on the side street that led to the rear of the dealership. In a near panic, she pulled her cell phone from under her armpit, and cried into it "Tim, Don Wall's headed for the rear exit!" "Wheres he at right now?" asked Tim Versace. "He just rode over there." "Okay, get back inside." Versace hung up, whipped the car in reverse and turned around in a flash. He sped through the back lot, and out to the front of the dealership. As Veronica was hanging up the phone, she saw the Corvette emerge from the back. Versace stopped at the entrance, checked both ways, and stepped on it, making a left then a quick right. Veronica heard the Corvette roar away at top speed: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:-PLQSs_pQwWlVM…— September 26, 2009 10:25 a.m.
Furry Children
Oh God, its like 'The Office' around here. Alright, people. Team meeting. First off, I don't know what you're complaining about, Surfpuppy, there are cars in the story for you to chase after. This is not spamming the board(s) Pistol Pete, but thank you for your Yosemite Sam like feedback. Spamming is sending large amounts of unsolicited e-mail, usually with the intent of selling something. This is a groundbreaking internet serial called 'Condo,' so its only natural that people are going to get a little tense as we draw near a climactic episode! Its sort of like when it was discovered that the Earth was round, there were still people who insisted the Earth is flat. Or when we went to the moon, and a few people still insist, even to this day, that it was all a hoax. Obviously, the relevant questions you should all ask yourselves is- What type of person am I? Do I embrace groundbreaking, really quite revolutionary art forms, or am I a thread burning type, lurking around the web with a torch and a few spooked neighbors in the wee hours, probably after filling up on Yukon Jack? ............................................................. Veronica bent down to pick up the honey bun, completely flustered. Don Wall could now smell a rat. "Whats Tim Versace up to?" said Don Wall. "Nothing. Why?" said Veronica, looking down and smoothing her hair self consciously. Don Wall just looked at her, when it hit him- a decoy. He looked over toward the dealership and back at her. Tim Versace was going to leave out the back, Don Wall thought to himself. Behind the dealership, Mystery Man and Tim Versace got into the 2009 Corvette, and buckled up. Versace carefully placed his cellphone on the dash, motioned Mystery Man to be quiet, reached over, and pulled on the top of Mystery Mans seatbelt, hitching it to make sure it was nice and tight. He started the Chevrolet, and the engine rumbled to life with a throaty roar. Versace gently depressed the gas pedal: VROOM - VROOM. He backed the Corvette out of its slot, and made his way for the back of the dealership, with the cell phone to his ear, trying to hear what was going on out front. What was going on out front was that Don Wall took a sip of the coffee, put it down, and went for his motorcycle. "Where are you going, Don?" asked Veronica, half into her armpit. In the back, Versace stopped the Corvette instantly. "What happened, car salesman?" asked Mystery Man. "Ssshhhh," said Tim Versace, putting his index finger to his lips. Out front, Don Wall thought to himself- 'busted.' Veronica was acting too suspiciously. "Wait right here, Veronica. I'll be back in just a sec." he said, then jumped on his motorcycle, and pulled out.— September 26, 2009 10:22 a.m.
Furry Children
Veronica relented, despite her concern that Tim Versace was embarked on a harebrained scheme. The more assertive Tim Versace became, the more it indicated his insecurities. Then he started with the rough stuff. 'Like exactly right now, for instance' thought Veronica, as Tim Versace said "Okay Veronica, I'm going to wire you up. So you call me on your cellphone, leave the line open, and stuff the cellhone in your bra. Hurry up." "No way." said Veronica. "WAY!" yelled Tim Versace. "Oh my God, Tim. Do you hear yourself?" retorted Veronica. "Put it under armpit." suggested Mystery Man, with that incisive air of his. Veronica just looked at Mystery Man. Car buying is an emotional experience. In a matter of two minutes, Veronica was walking out the front of the dealership, and crossing the street towards SDPD motorcycle cop Don Wall. She approached Don Wall with a styrofoam cup of coffee in one hand, and a honey bun, half in its wrapper, in the other hand. She made quite a spectacle, under the circumstances, and Don Wall was instantly on his guard. "Hi, Don." said Veronica. "Hi." said Don Wall, querulously. "Here." said Veronica, handing him the food. Once Don Wall took the coffee and donut, all she had to do was make sure the earpiece of her cellphone didn't get covered. Thats all. Nothing to it. She couldn't believe that she was doing this. She remembered Tim Versace's stiff ultimatum: "You're going to do this, or its curtains. Now come on." Veronica had looked into Tim Versace's eyes and said 'yes' and now here she was. Don Wall took the cup of coffee in one hand, but when he went to take the honeybun, Veronica rushed it, and their fingertips tapped, as the honeybun slipped to the ground. "Oh!" exclaimed Veronica. "Whats going on?" asked Don Wall. "Nothing." said Veronica, entirely non persuasively.— September 25, 2009 9:24 p.m.
Furry Children
"Come on, car salesman! We don't want Kato to leave!" said Mystery Man. "Listen Veronica, take Don Wall a honey bun and a styro and flirt with him a little bit. he's a great guy." said Tim Versace. "Tim, drop the mafioso routine. Let me breathe." said Veronica. "Okay, come on." said Tim Versace, backing away from her and then trying to lead her to the door. "Wait a minute, Tim. I think this is a bad idea. Why don't you take an Aveo instead, and go the speed limit. You're going to get in trouble." said Veronica. "I'm not going to argue with you. You're going to distract Don Wall. So lets go." said Tim Versace adamantly. "Yeah, Veronica. You can do it. We be back in half an hour, one hour tops. We just going for Kato." said Mystery Man. "Well......." said Veronica.— September 24, 2009 9:24 a.m.
Furry Children
Tim Versace pressed in on Veronica, who was already practically splayed against a wall, saying "I need this, Veronica. You have to distract Don Wall with coffee and doughnuts while I make my getaway in the 'Vette. This is not a request. You have to do it." "I don't know....." said Veronica.— September 23, 2009 10:06 p.m.
Furry Children
"Hey, I just signed a ticket for 'leaving the scene of an accident" said Tim Versace. "I take care of your lawyer fees." said Mystery Man. "But Don Wall is out there." said Tim Versace. "The cop might be gone by now." said Mystery Man. He really wanted to catch Kato. "Oh, I think he's probably out there right now." said Tim Versace. SDPD motorcycle cop Don Wall had been posted up across the street from the Chevy dealership most of the day. Ever since Mystery Mans Mercedes limo had arrived, in fact. Probably a coincidence. "Then we gotta fool the cop somehow." said Mystery Man. "Where is Kato, exactly?" asked Tim Versace. "He at 'The Gentlemen's Club.' at this address." said Mystery Man, showing Tim Versace the display of his cellphone. "Well, lets MapQuest this thing, and figure something out. Veronica, two styros please." said Tim Versace. Veronica left to get two coffees. "We gotta go fast!" cried Mystery Man. "Then we'll want a Corvette." said Tim Versace. Tim Versace was more than willing to haul ass over to Kato's location, as long as he could get by Don Wall. It was these people's nature evidentally, to make the most of test drives, and who was Tim Versace to argue? "I want the fastest thing you got." said Mystery Man. Veronica reappeared with two styrofoam cups of coffee. The two men took the cups and clutched them as they hunched over a computer screen showing Katos location. Tim Versace sipped his coffee, and thought to himself, 'If we leave by the backlot without being detected by Don Wall, I can drive outside of earshot, open up the 'Vette, and be there in a matter of minutes. Mystery Man will be impressed, and might buy a Corvette, too. That $80,000 vehicle would pay Versace $4,000 in commission. The trick would be to get by Don Wall. If he could do that, the Chevrolet Corvette was a rocketship: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJOGq5XTojo— September 22, 2009 12:14 p.m.
Furry Children
Mystery Man pounded on Tim Versace's desk and said "I drive Mercedes, I don't cause no crisis!" Mystery Man then stood up over the desk and said "Americans cause crisis." "Take it easy. I'm simply saying that Americans caused the crisis. It so happens that some of them drove Mercedes. Probably a coincidence." Mystery Man sat down, saying "I still offended." "Maybe this is an opportunity to stimulate the economy cooperatively. I mean Mercedes isn't the only one with blue technology." said Tim Versace. "Who else got blue technology?" asked Mystery Man. "General Motors has an Opel ECO-speedster diesel that gets over a hundred miles per gallon." said Tim Versace, matter of factly. "You bulls%^ting." said Mystery Man. "No, have a look." said Tim Versace, showing him an image from the web: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Opel_ECO_S… Mystery Man snatched the phone and began going off in Chinese. Kato had heard everything, and although he couldn't believe the car salesman would criticize Mercedes, Kato was definitely interested in the new Volt. He had a passion for sustainability and living in harmony with nature. Meanwhile the outrageously good looking brunette was wiggling around on his lap, like a cat getting cozy. 'Nature at its finest thought Kato, 'and worth protecting for future generations.' Mystery Man hung up, and looked at his phone. "Aha! Look car salesman, I got the location where Kato is at! Come on, we gotta go! I going to catch him red handed this time!"— September 22, 2009 8:41 a.m.
Furry Children
"Yes, Kato, I so very sorry." said Mystery Man into his cellphone. Tim Versace hung on his every word, even while penning out a deal and punching numbers into a calculator. Mystery Man continued speaking to Kato: "What, Kato? Mercedes got blue technology? What is that?.... Oh.... that's interesting......Wait a minute, I gonna ask car salesman a question." Mystery Man set his cell phone down on Tim Versace's desk and said "Car salesman." Tim Versace looked up from his worksheet and said "Yes?" "What blue technology Mercedes got?" "It's a high mileage turbo-diesel configuration. You don't want it, believe me. You need electric drive to attract women." said Tim Versace. Kato thought that was a bit ironic. He was listening to every word Versace said through the cell phone sitting on the desk, even as he stroked the thigh of a stunningly beautiful brunette at that very moment. "How can you be ecostyle if you a Republican?" asked Mystery Man. "How do you know I'm Republican?" asked Tim Versace, with angelic innocence. "I check your name in Registrar of Voters." "Oh. said Tim Versace, drolly. "Well I'm pleased as a Republican to be able to profit on green technology without getting demolished on my taxes." Versace listened to talk radio, and fantasized sometimes about getting into political debates with foreigners. "But Mercedes better, isn't it?" said Mystery Man. "Chevrolet is better than Mercedes. Who do you think caused the crisis of 2008? Mercedes drivers. Driving a Mercedes in this day and age is so over the top." said Tim Versace. Noone could spread rumor and innuendo about a Mercedes Benz downer or dirtier than Tim Versace.— September 19, 2009 11:12 p.m.
Furry Children
In the low light of the gentlemen's club, the dancers looked radiant. Krissy sashayed toward Kato, projecting remarkably good...posture. "Bouncy" said Kato admiringly, with a winning smile. Krissy smiled demurely, and turned her torso, just so. "Cheeky" said Kato with a big grin. Krissy laughed, and took Kato by the arm. She looked into his eyes, and was struck with the unmistakable feeling that this man was a real life superhero. "Whats your name?" she asked dreamily. "Kato." Krissy gasped. She knew it! The other ladies were watching, and when they saw Krissy's reaction, they all instantly turned their attention toward Kato. "Come and meet everyone" said Krissy, taking Kato by the arm toward the main stage. "Hey everyone, this is Kato!" cried Krissy, above the music din. A super fine blonde in a skimpy bikini gave Kato a big hug, which he reciprocated in full. Now Kato was surrounded by fawning young women, saying "Kato! It's Kato. Oh, Kato!" The place was all a twitter and no one was even texting. At the dealership, Mystery Man and Tim Versace finished watching the Chevy Volt commercial- I mean informational video. Veronica extracted the DVD from the player, and set it on the desk, between Mystery Man and Tim Versace. Versace said "You see sir, if we pollute the earth, what will our children live in? A pile of trash." "That's true," said Mystery Man. Tim Versace stood up, leaned over the desk and said "I'm talking about a Mad Max universe where the sky has turned black. Do you want that?" "No, I definately don't want that." "I don't either. Thats why I drive a four cylinder Malibu. For gas mileage. I pollute less, save money and still have enough power to get around. But I want this Volt, because it's General motors 100th Anniversary car." "You gonna buy one?" asked Mystery Man. "I'm ready to commit today. How about you? If I can get you the cars you want, at the price you want, are you ready to make a deal today?" "Good prices?" asked Mystery Man. "I'll get you fleet prices, amigo. Fleet prices." said Tim Versace in sotto voce as he sat down again and put both hands on the desk, palms down. "I be with you in a minute." said Mystery Man, as he extracted his cell phone and made a call. "Kato! What is that music?! Where are you?!.......Its too bad for you, because I looking at a new, new car, its electric model.......I think its better than transformer car..... Uh huh, yeah, ecostyle....Too bad you on my sh%*list, Kato, so I will not buy nothing for you....I gonna buy you a cow bone."— September 19, 2009 9:34 a.m.