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Girl Talk
SD: Actually not that much. Tonight, yes, yet I retain my presence of mind. I think we should be honest and recognize that in reality, you American women are just so hot to trot, you end up allowing me to make a living pointing it out. And I have the luxury of doing so, for I am a stud.— February 26, 2010 10:42 p.m.
Furry Children
"Werner, I'm warning you for the last time to stay out of this particular incident. I haven't time for your nonsense. You're a decadent playboy in any event. Why don't you spray some perfume on yourself, and head out for a nightclub?" said Wolfgang Loescher, Mercedes Benz salesman extraordinaire, to Werner Beck, Porsche salesman extraordinaire, during the GM presentation portion of the program at Copenhagen, Denmark. All the great cars were represented there. Also there were Audi people. Werner Beck had brought a small group of Porsche salesmen to the mega confab on green, sustainable living taking place in Copenhagen, Denmark in late 2009. His primary instruction to them was to avoid laughing at competitors or otherwise appear condescending. Werner Beck wasn't headed into the conference looking to make enemies. Porsche had it good, there was no doubt about it. But a Porsche isn't for everyone anyway, even for those lucky enough to be shopping in its price range. But anyway, it wasn't until Tim Versace, Chevrolet salesman extraordinaire, had issued a racing challenge, on a snowy road, to the assembled, worlds greatest car pros, that Werner Beck had spoken up. He wanted a piece of that action. If there was going to be a race, Werner was in. To Wolfgang Loescher, Werner Beck was some sort of Charlie Sheen character, but the truth was, Werner Beck was one of the fastest men on the planet. Literally.— February 24, 2010 10:20 p.m.
Girl Talk
I was extremely excited by this piece. It confirms what I've always suspected about women, namely that they are driven by sex, they are sexual animals, and thats what all the facial make up and other feminine affectations are all about, to hide their actual base tendencies. And of all women, American women are the most depraved. Theres no need to cite examples, when speaking in this regard. I think we all know how it goes here in Southern California when it comes to straying women. American women are so dirty its unbelievable.— February 24, 2010 9:56 p.m.
Furry Children
When Kato's grasp of one of Wolfgang's akles didn't slow him down, and Kato was literally getting dragged across the stage, he went for Wolfgang's other ankle, being sure to leave enough slack so that Wolfgang would not fall. Kato's next move would be to throw a scissors kick on both of Wolfgang's legs, but to the front side. Making people fall backward with a scissors kick was very dangerous, and totally unnecessary. Now Wolfgang was dragging Kato with both legs, but his speed had slowed to a crawl. He was doing a Frankenstein shuffle. The world's top car pros were in the process of absorbing this latest, when Werner Beck, Porsche salesman extraordinaire, stood up and cried "Wolfgang, have a care! If the man wants to race, and he has money, then lets entertain his ideas! I personally am interested in seeing what the American can do, even if you're not!" "You're a reprobate Werner, and next on my list if you don't be quiet!" cried Wolfgang. "Next on your list?! I've been tops on your list ever since you learned what driving a Porsche is all about! But what I particularly love is how Mercedes has favored Chrysler with an older, big wheel chassis!" Now the car pros were again aroused to stomping and shouting. The Dragon Systems on the fly translators were working without a hitch. Wolfgang stopped in his tracks o the stage. Kato leapt up and dusted himself off. Tim Versace had already moved to the apron (front edge) of the stage. If this crazy German rushed him he would sidestep and let him fly off the stage. If he was incredibly fast, Tim was going to duck off the stage himself. Either way, Tim Versace was not about to get pummeled by a Mercedes man in Copenhagen, Denmark. Wolfgang Loescher said "Mercedes Benz makes the best car chassis in the world! We don't think people should drive on a roller skate, and we put the engine in the front, where it belongs." "Well at Porsche we put the driver in front, where he belongs. I liked what the American said about that. Its the driver, Wolfgang."— February 20, 2010 6:32 p.m.
Brewskies
Vodka! What a concept! We used to drink Stolichnaya's vodka and mix it with Kool Aid when I was in high school in East San Diego. We loved it, and the best thing was, none of us had cars. There was no way we could get in trouble. Diva, what I really like about your writing is that you're sincere, you paint a picture and you never waste a word. I try to incorporate that in what I'm up to. I've learned to incorporate that in my stuff, so you influenced me. Everyone has their own style- or at least should. And you definitely do. As for beer, if I'm in a class joint and looking to make a good impression, I simply order a Samuel Adams Boston Lager. I'd drink it all the time but when you drink as much beer as I do, that small price differential adds up quick. Another good ale- Corona Especial with a lime wedge in it. Another one- Newcastle's, room temperature- you'll think you died and went to heaven. That would be my recommendation.— February 20, 2010 5:57 p.m.
Brewskies
Ttea: The proof is in the pudding, and its obvious you're one of those contrarians for its own sake. Diva is an outstanding writer, so much so that more people read her than the SD Union- on any given day. The beer thing: I drink beer in order to avoid drinking Jack Daniels. Because I'm an addictive sort, and I'll swig whatever is in front of my chops pretty much like beer. But I do love the stuff. My take on beer is that I'm going to get a fresh Take on the situation- a Tecate.— February 18, 2010 10:30 p.m.
Buenos Aires, Argentina: Che Baludo!
Boludo, not baludo. It means ballsy, but in the wrong way. Someone that is too balsy isn't all that smart. Yeah, I remember Buenos Aires. Its currently THE city in the world, praised by all. Thanks for giving Latin America a visit. There's alot to offer, and in many respects, the next big thing.— February 18, 2010 10:16 p.m.
Furry Children
Heres a dedication for the very talented, very exciting Ms. Aaryn Belfer. Its a little Alicia Villareal bit, called 'Si Me dejas Ahora' (If you leave me now) with a Beatles twist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PksJdqKY8Co— February 18, 2010 1:41 p.m.
Furry Children
Now then, everyone who is really into cars knows that a car person has the car that he loves, and some car or other that automatically becomes the object of his or her disaffection. Its like sports, or nationality, or even politics. For Tim Versace, Mercedes Benz was the marque he couldn't stand. But for Wolfgang Loescher, it was Porsche. And when something like this comes up, and rage fills ones eyes, it stops being about what you love, and like a charging bull, like what someone waved in front of your face, to make you mad. Wolfgang Loescher cried "PORSCHE!!!!!! YOU WANT A PORSCHE?!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!" If the crowd was dead quiet before, now you could feel the place just going into a vacuum. Wolfgang thrust off his very expensive hounds tooth suit jacket, threw it down on the stage, and began rolling up his sleeves. Both cufflinks went into his pocket as he cried "Versace, you are headed back to that federal ghetto of San Diego, that Guantanamo West of yours that you so dearly love- on a stretcher!" Just as Wolfgang went for Tim Versace, Kato leapt up and grabbed one of his ankles. Didn't faze him. Wolfgang's powerful, soccer playing legs dragged Kato onto the stage. The truth is, Wolfgang barely felt the extra weight.— February 16, 2010 8:54 p.m.
Furry Children
Tim Versace took a quick look at the auditorium, and its acoustics. He didn't really need the microphone. So he simply raised his voice plenty enough to be heard throughout the hall and cried "If the issue is politics, then I wonder how much Americans have learned from Europeans! I certainly know that our politics are degraded, in the nation where I live! The United States of America! I'm not a politician! I'm not going to argue with a Mercedes salesman over politics! Because! Because of this! If the USA were as bad off as this gentleman seems to say, who hasn't yet said what his name is, then we wouldn't be selling Mercedes in our country! The fact is that we do! Why??!!" "Because if we didn't, that would mean that we can't compete! Thats not a yes or no question, thats a fact!" A murmur was heard throughout the crowd. Tim Versace continued: "I've heard a great deal of talk about car safety, namely that Herr whatever his name is wouldn't trust a Chevy on a snowy road! Talk is cheap! I don't deny that Mercedes Benz makes a dynamite vehicle, but frankly, I would be just as happy with a Volkswagen! Because what good is a car that is so safe if you can't afford it!? And if I had the money and were so inclined, I sure as hell wouldn't buy an MB, I'd do myself right and get a Porsche! Furthermore, people, and listen to me close now, because I'm about to educate you not with University English, like this man speaks, but with the truth! Are you ready?!" Tim Versace yelled, without a microphone. You could hear a pin drop. "Awesome! People, its not the car, its the driver! If you can't drive a fuc*ing car, get a Mercedes! If you can drive a car, choose well! This man says he wouldn't trust a Chevy on a snowy road! Well then, who wants to race!!?? I'll take an Impala SS up to a Switzerland rally track and race anyone of you, or your test drivers. For real money. Dollars, ass%oles! Who wants to see how it really is?! Tell me now!"— February 14, 2010 8:20 p.m.