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GIN and Ironic
"What are your orders?" demanded Stephanie Clifton of Tino Escudero. "Come to San Diego for a CIA mission. Don't expect to make it back, but if I do, report everything. Basically, just show strong for Argentina and thats it." "Can you communicate with your superiors?" "No. Unless I get out of country, no communication." "Langley wants us to divert to the Gulf Coast and sample the oil spill. They want Kenworth to do his water experiments there...my Kenworth." said Stephanie. Tino thought about the situation: 'Fu&k, there goes the World Cup...the oil spill must be really bad to send children to the front...obviously deploying all resources available....I figured Kenworth was on the CIA list....now what should I do?...What would my father do?...Help the Soccer Mom. Help the Soccer Mom.'— May 28, 2010 8:51 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
"Do you suspect me of being part of this plot?" asked Tino, with the most innocence he could muster, and throwing in a few Hugh Grant type eye blinks for emotion. When the chips are down, people always revert to form, or training. Tino Escudero knew how to think on his feet, but most of all, because Tino was never the greatest of geniuses, his preferred method was to ask the right questions. "Are you?" demanded the Soccer Mom. "No. And you know the CIA would never tell me anything. You know this." Stephanie Clifton uncocked her Walther PPK, and set it down on her dresser. She said "Let that be the case. Because I will kill you or anyone that tries to harm my son." "Lets clear on that, Stephanie." said Tino, looking into her eyes. Tinos 'look' was very clear- 'I'm not against you here- lets work this out together.'— May 27, 2010 8:25 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
In the Soccer Mom's bedroom, her phone rang. It was Langley. "Ms. Clifton, you are being redirected to Memphis, Tennesse. From there you will surreptitiously rent a car, and make your way directly to the Gulf Coast, in order that you may examine the Gulf Coast Oil spill, and provide valuable intelligence in that regard." "I don't have any means to provide any special information in that regard." "But your son does." "My son is not in the Central Intelligence Agency, you can't use him in this way." "But you are. Take decisions, madame." Click. The phone hung up. Stephanie went into her son's room and said "Tino, come here for a moment." Tino could tell by her voice that something was up. He followed her into her bedroom. When they entered, the Soccer Mom turned and pointed a Walther PPK pistol directly at the midsection of his body. "You know what to do. Drop it." Tino removed his hawgleg from a shoulder holster, emptied the clip, then the chamber, and tossed the pistol onto the bed. Drama- what would life be without it. He'd heard that San Diego was splitting at the seams, and so it was. "Now sit on the bed." Tino went to sit on the bed, but also to close in on Stephanie Clifton. "Get back!" said the Soccer Mom, and Tino saw her finger curling a little more around the trigger of her pistol. "Now, relax. Explain to me what is the problem. Obviously you want to communicate with me, or you would not be doing this. Tell me what's happening." With her Walther PPK levelled at Tino, the Soccer Mom said "I fear the CIA is trying to kidnap my son." Paul McCartney & Wings - 'Band on the Run': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM6auGQ2VGo&featur…— May 27, 2010 8:12 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
"Hurry up." said the Soccer Mom to her son. Kenworth started packing, while Tino looked at the water samples. He asked "What are these?" "Water samples." "Why do you keep them? Why not evaluate them and throw them away?" "Because I'm working on better ways to examine water, and by reexamining my samples, I can evaluate my progress." "How good are you at this water sampling business?" asked Tino. "I'm getting better every day. My lab is small, but I'm very careful to do precise work." "What is your goal?" asked Tino. "I want to serve my country, and help the world. The best way I know to do that is to protect the environment. Once I come up something better, I'm on it. Hey, Tino?" "Yes?" "How good are you at soccer?" "I'm very good." "Good enough to play in the MLS?" "Yes. I'm an arquero- a goalie. We're always in demand in an up and coming league. But that was not my destiny, and I'm glad. Soccer is a great game, its the beautiful sport. But I love what I do. I too want to serve my country and help the world." "You're violent." said Kenworth. "Yes. Yes I am." said Tino, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm a bodyguard, and I work in tough places. I know how to deal with people, but I'm not a killer." Kenworth tossed his head- he didn't believe Tino. Tino looked at the kid, and realized why he was going to South Africa- because the CIA wanted to recruit him. At that moment, Tino decided that he would teach this young genius how to operate on the sly, just in case.— May 25, 2010 8:05 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
"What is that, 'Beat Mexico?'" asked Tino. "US Soccer, man. Win, lose or draw, I love my selection just the same. But one way or another, the first thing for US Soccer is to beat Mexico." "So you have a rivalry?" asked Tino. "No, its more like an obsession. I tell you, I've been playing against Mexicans all my life. Its how I grooved my game. Don't know how I survived to tell you the truth." said Kenworth Clifton.— May 25, 2010 1:08 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
Stephanie Clifton ended up having a nice conversation with Amy's parents. She was in. In the Soccer Moms pad, Tino was intrigued to see Kenworth's room. On his door was a poster of Barack Obama. Everyone walked into Kenworth's room. "Pack, and make it fast." said the Soccer Mom. Tino looked around in awe. On the back wall was a mural, with Landon Donovan and Cuahtehmoc Blanco, facing each other- and a slogan across the top:'Beat Mexico'. All around the room were small test tubes in racks, filled with water samples. Kenworth Clifton was a scientist in his own right- and don't ever call him Sheldon. GET WELL SOON, GUSTAVO CERATI RESAMOS POR TI Soda Stereo - The Furious City: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Of8KDaUrdM— May 25, 2010 12:53 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
"I'll tell you one thing about soccer right now- we're going to South Africa to watch World Cup." said Tino. "Kenworth isn't going anywhere with you, you f***ing thug!" screamed Amy. "How old are you?" asked Tino. "None of your business, you f***ing perv!" cried Amy. "She's 18 years old, and she's the apple of my eye." said Kenworth, then checking the rear view for his mother's reaction. It was suspicious. "Amy's my girl, and I think I'm in love." added Kenworth. "Show me some ID. Show me you're of age." said Tino to Amy. "She is." said Kenworth. "How old are you?" asked Tino to Kenworth. "I'm seventeen years young, what's it to you?" "I'm checking on the situation. Your girlfriend is too old for you. You suppose to be age compatible." The Soccer Mom glared at her son in the rear view mirror. Amy was difficult anyway, when she wanted to be. Stephanie Clifton would have none of that. "Physician, heal thyself." said Kenworth, rolling his eyes. Just then, they rolled up to the pad, on Ascot Street, on the East Side of San Diego. Tino jumped out, and said "Pibes (kids), you going to respect me, because otherwise, I won't take you to South Africa." "Tino, shut your mouth, its not up to you." said the Soccer Mom. "Why not? I got the credit card." "Amy is not going." said Stephanie Clifton, thinking how nice it was to have the upper hand on this young lady that had smart mouthed her not twenty minutes ago. "I can't leave Kenworth. I'm in love!" cried Amy, on cue." "If your of age, you're in. But!-" said Tino. "But what?" said Kenworth. "You must gain permission from her parents. No exceptions. Do it." said Tino. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHLVjriwzFg— May 25, 2010 12:20 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
The Soccer Mom was driving. Tino was crouched in the rear of the Dodge minivan, peeking out the back window, and with his ears peeled for the sound of a police helicopter. Kenworth Clifton and his super smart, super beautiful girlfriend Amy were in the backseat. They weren't saying much at the moment as Stephanie Clifton drove fast. "Go to the airport! Go straight to the airport!" said Tino. "Shut up. Come and sit down. Put your seatbelt on." said Stephanie. "Mom?" said Kenworth. "Yes, honey?" "Who is this dude?" "He's a friend of mine." said the Soccer Mom, looking at Kenworth in the rear view mirror. Amy exploded: "He's a hired killer from Tijuana! The CIA sent him! Oh my God! Oh my God!" "Darling, be quiet. Kenny, do you know this young lady?" "Amy's my girlfriend, Mom. You just never met her because you're never around." "That's enough. Tino is from Cordoba, Argentina. Tino, introduce yourself." "Hello." said Tino, now in the front passenger seat, turning around to look at the youngsters. "Hi." said Kenworth, then Amy scrunched her face at him and hugged Kenworth. "That was a sensational goal, boy. I got it all on video." "So you're from Argentina, then you know soccer?" said Kenworth. Tino Escudero just looked at Kenworth. The Soccer Mom turned up the radio: Beck - Hotwax - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpqTFCGpOFo&featur…— May 25, 2010 9:05 a.m.
GIN and Ironic
Kenworth jumped down, sprinted full speed toward his mom, went down on his knees and slid, into a nice 360 that was his patented celebration. Tino was filming everything, went to the soccer mom, as Kenworth leapt up and embraced her. "Mom, did you see that?" Kenworth exclaimed. "Yes! It was incredible!" said Stephanie Clifton, hugging her child tighter. Now the losing gangsters had come to their financial senses, and were rushing toward the sidelines, toward Kenworth, yelling some crap or other about off sides, which was ridiculous, but thats soccer for you. Tino pulled out a pistol and began firing into the air, as he rushed toward Kenworth and the soccer mom. "Aaaagghhh!" screamed Amy, whooshing back and forth in an attempt to defuse the situation. A gangster went to draw his piece and Tino clubbed him over the head with the muzzle of his pistol, then side kicked him so hard he went into the air and landed flat on his face. "We leaving, games over, soccer riot! Beckham assho&es, Beckham all the way!" yelled Tino, as he herded Stephaine and Amy and Kenworth away from the field of play. He made it fast. Next thing you know, they were in Stephanies Dodge caravan, peeling out, just as the cops were lighting up their sirens. Es Legenda- David Beckham in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsHmVsHsZTY— May 16, 2010 6:58 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
Stephanie and Tino went to East San Diego, to pick up Kenworth. He was at a soccer game being played at Hoover High School, and it was a money game. What that meant was that a group of gangsters from diverse parts of the world (remember, East San Diego) had gotten together and decided to bet on a live soccer game, and let the youngsters go at it. Stephanie and Tino arrived, and Tino began to tape the soccer match with a pretty rad Leica digital camera that shot motion picture quality video. Stephanie hovered about the sidelines, watching her son, Kenworth. It was a very hard fought match, 0-0 going into the second half of play. Kenworth was covered in sweat, battling for the ball and the breakaway, being shoved about, throwing his body to the side to avoid a disastrous collision of bodies on a contested 50-50 ball, chesting the ball down and blazing down the field, only to be tripped from behind, and blasting down to the ground, rolling to protect himself, then grimacing while laying on the ground in an effort to draw the call. At that point Stephanie was not about to remain silent. "Red Card! Red card!" she screamed at the referee. An incredibly hot, probably underaged Asian young lady with a veritable super ass strode up to Stephanie. It was Kenworth's girlfriend, Amy. She said "What are you doing here?" "Amy?" said Stephanie, in total shock at her attitude. "Kenworth doesn't need you. You're never here for his soccer games, never. And now you are. I smell a rat. Kenworth told me what you do for work." Just then the assembled crowd began to roar, and Stephanie and Amy both turned to the field. The soccer ball was in the air, on the fly, with a good chance. But it was too far forward toward Kenworth's opponents goal to field. Then, with everyone watching, Kenworth turned on a burst of speed, slid just as the ball was going out of bounds, hooked it, popped up, reversed course as the defenders swarmed upon him, got through, unbelievably, and blasted a shot to the goal unbelievably fast, and almost from the end line. It ricocheted off the far side bar and slammed into the goal at over sixty miles per hour. Everyone went absolutely nuts, even the losers. It was beyond a shadow of a doubt the greatest goal Kenworth had ever scored. Tino ran out onto the field holding his video camera low and getting Kenworth's reaction. Tino loved to videotape soccer, and this goal was from another planet. Kenworth's teammates mobbed him, and as he got lifted up, he pumped his fist at Amy, only to see a woman shouting and waving her arms. 'Mom?' thought Kenworth. Green Day, '21st Century Breakdown Live' in Munich http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nMt-oJG-2k— May 12, 2010 6:52 p.m.